Post by fearnot on Nov 22, 2022 15:58:39 GMT -5
The Science Behind Covid Explained ( funny)
He who sits in the heavens laughs,
The Lord scoffs at them.
Psalms 2:4
1. Covid Rule
We had to wear masks when entering a restaurant and walking to the table,
but were allowed to remove the mask when seated at the table.
Mask had to be reapplied in order to leave.
The Science:
The Covid doesn’t spread when you’re eating and drinking.
I will skip some, you can click on link for the full list
3. Covid Rule:
Curfews.
The Science:
The Covid can tell time.
5. Covid Rule:
Melbourne residents were told it was
“not in the spirit of the lockdown”
to watch the sunset.
The Science:
The Covid kept a list of people who glanced at the setting sun
and eventually infected them.
8. Covid Rule:
When sitting in a park you and your friends were required
to sit within circles
painted on the grass.
The Science:
The Covid agreed not to penetrate inside the painted circles
but that anyone outside the circles was fair game.
(there is a photo of the circles on the site)
9. Covid Rule:
In France, people had to fill out a form authorising themselves to go outside for a walk.
In the absence of a form, people could write a letter and sign it,
or else give themselves permission via an app.
If you left the house without giving yourself written permission to do so,
you had to pay a fine.
The Science:
The Covid would not spread if you had a note saying you were taking the pandemic seriously.
11. Covid Rule:
AFL goalposts needed to be disinfected by men in hazmat suits.
The Science:
Researchers calculated that it was technically possible
for an infected player to touch the ball which,
when kicked,
might hit the post,
transferring the Covid from player
to ball
to post.
A player who subsequently touched the post
and then inadvertently
put his finger near his mouth
could get Covid,
maybe.
( photo of men in hazmet suit spraying goal posts)
12. Covid Rule:
Supermarket workers were required to operate behind a perspex safety screen
even though
they were touching all the grocery items
you had just touched
before returning them to you
for transportation home
whereupon you would touch them again.
The Science:
The Covid got confused by the perspex screen
and forgot it could transmit itself
via people’s hands.
13. Covid Rule:
In the UK you were not allowed to drink an alcoholic beverage on site
unless you also ate something.
The Science:
Opening your mouth to pour liquid into would attract the Covid
but
opening your mouth to shove food down it
would not.
[Later “the science” discovered a meal no longer protected people whilst they were drinking
and the rule was dropped.]
Some members of the Irish public claimed to be unclear about Government regulations
regarding drinking in pubs during ‘The Times Of Covid’.
So, the following leaflet was distributed to fully clarify the situation.
( you will have to go look at the hilarious explanation)
expose-news.com/2022/11/20/the-science-behind-covid-explained/