Post by Cindy on Jul 5, 2015 10:53:49 GMT -5
It's sad, but I've found that most Christians want absolutely nothing to do with accountability. Instead of accepting reproof and correction as the Bible says we're too, they get angry and stomp off. (either literally if it's in person or by becoming angry and defensive and leaving the site if it's on line) Instead of realizing that the person cares about them and is trying to help them, they take it as an attack. Let me share a story of how I came to understand about this and maybe it'll help someone.
After I was saved, the Lord gave me a wonderful woman to disciple me and I asked her to tell me every time she saw me sin. At first she wouldn't so I asked her why. She told me that she'd had many people ask her that very thing but every time she followed through and told them about it, they'd just get angry, which of course compounded the sin. I have to admit that I was totally shocked by that. I just couldn't even imagine someone getting angry because another believer had shown them that they were sinning. It just didn't make any sense at all to me!
Well I finally convinced her that I really meant it and wouldn't get angry. And so she began to tell me each time she'd see me sin. We set aside time at the end of the work day so it wouldn't interfere with work. She did a wonderful job of showing me my sins gently, just the way the Lord does. She never just dumped them on me but would point out one thing and then help me pray and work on it, looking at scripture that talked about that issue. Then we'd go onto the next thing etc. It was really wonderful and I grew SO MUCH during that time.
To me it was like having a spiritual mother. (or father I guess) As a child, I could count on my mother to always tell me the truth about myself, even if it was going to hurt, and then she'd help me do something to change it. And that's what we were doing now with her telling me about my sins. It's always much easier to see someone else's sins then to see your own. So it was a big help having her do that for me.
When I had to quit working due to an injury that made me disabled, I was no longer able to see her regularly and had to continue on my own. I really miss having someone that I can count on to tell me the Truth about me though. I've discovered for myself however that she was very right about most people not wanting to know what their sins are. I guess it goes back to pride. But I've seen more people get angry because they've been told they've done something wrong/they sinned, or that some belief was a false teaching, then anything else in the last 15 years. It still always takes me by surprise too.
How in the world can we conquer the sin in our lives if we don't realize it's there? Obviously the way to know about it is to know God's Word, but still, we're all experts at fooling ourselves. Well, at least I am. Since I am so good at it, I know I need help. I need to listen when others suggest I might be sinning, when others say I've done something I shouldn't have or that I have the wrong attitude about something or someone etc. So, that's what I try to do on my own now. Well, not really on my own, because the Lord always finds a way, a person, a situation or something to bring sin to my attention so I can deal with it.
Each Christian is called to help, stimulate, reprove, correct, and encourage one another within the body of Christ, and we're called to do that by using scripture, not by using worldly "wisdom" or anything else but scripture. In today's world, with it's focus on psychology and self help, feelings, experiences, being told we're all basically good, and tolerance of sin, it's very hard to find Christians who honestly and truly WANT to know when they've sinned and aren't going to turn on you in anger (adding to their sin) when they're told so. Much to my dismay, I've found that my mentor was right. Most people don't want to know when they're wrong about something, when they've sinned, all they really want is a pat on the back and a "atta boy" or "you're doing great!". Thankfully there are a few, but not many at all. The reason that's so very sad to me is because it should be the other way around. Every Christian should first realize that they are a sinner, even though they're saved and they should realize that they need to be shown their sins and be grateful when someone does so.
James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another. That's not talking about telling some priest so he can forgive you, because forgiveness comes from God alone. We're to talk to each other about our sins though for several reasons. One reason is that when we hide our sins from each other, it gives that sin more power over us. Sin and Satan love darkness and grow in the darkness. God loves the light and tells us to bring everything out into the light so it can't have any more power over us.
Another reason for this is that when we don't talk to others about it, we tend to let it fester inside us so that to us, it just seems bigger and nastier all the time. When we talk about it with other Christians, it brings the sin down to a manageable size because we're able to be reminded that God is bigger then our sin.
Yet another reason is because when we don't talk about it, there's the danger or forgetting it or even minimizing it to ourselves and thinking, "oh it's not so bad". Isn't it amazing how we'll go to either extreme when we hide our sins? We'll either allow them to become huge monsters that stop us or we'll turn them into playful little mice that don't really bother us, and both are sinful ways of dealing with our sin.
As members of one body, we should all want to help each other and we should all want help ourselves. I've just got to share something with you from a book I read as it surprised me by addressing this subject too:
How are we to deal with such people? Scripture says to admonish the wayward. The Greek term employed (nouthe-teō) means “to put sense into in light of the consequences.” If you know believers who are not doing their duty—not using their gifts, not being supportive of the team effort—come alongside and put some sense into their heads. One way to do that is to speak softly and say, “I’ve been noticing you haven’t been faithful in your attendance, you’re not involved in a ministry, and you tend to criticize the church. You realize, don’t you, that if you continue in that path, there are spiritual consequences, and I don’t think you want those consequences, nor do I want you to experience them.”
It’s to be a gentle, loving warning, yet also have some passion in it. That’s how the Apostle Paul warned the elders of the Ephesian church: “with tears” (Acts 20:31). There’s a hurt in it that says, “I don’t want you to keep going in that direction because God will chasten apathy and rebellion.” When you truly love someone, you don’t hesitate to warn him or her. I don’t hesitate to do that with my wife and children and others who are close to me. It’s not because of some agenda I’ve got, but because I don’t want them to have to deal with the inevitable consequences of being spiritually aloof. I want them and everyone else in the church to know the fullness of God’s blessing.
This confrontation is necessary. The point of coming to church isn’t sitting and staring at the back of someone’s head. It’s a fellowship; it’s being involved in the lives of fellow believers—including the troublesome ones.
MacArthur, J. Anxiety Attacked.
Christian accountability has to start somewhere, and it should start with each of us wanting to know what are sins are so we can repent and live lives worthy of our calling. The bible says that our hearts and minds are corrupted and the only way we can do this is through asking God to show us our sins and by asking other godly mature Christians to help hold us accountable. Then, when they do, we need to respond with grace instead of anger and embarrassment. We need to remember that this person has taken a risk to point out our sin to us, so we should respond with gratefulness. They aren't saying they're better then we are, they're saying they love us and want to help us improve our walk with the Lord. According to the Lord, we are our brother's keeper. The question before each of us is if we are going to be always prepared to correct, rebuke and encourage our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ from scripture or if we're going to be like the next verse in 2 Timothy says, a person who won't put up with sound doctrine. (2 Timothy 4:3)
“Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” (2 Timothy 4:2)
“When I say to a wicked man, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself. “Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself.”” (Ezekiel 3:18–21)
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1–2)
““If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15–17)
“Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.” (Proverbs 25:12)
“He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” (Proverbs 15:31–32)
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” (Proverbs 27:5–6)
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
After I was saved, the Lord gave me a wonderful woman to disciple me and I asked her to tell me every time she saw me sin. At first she wouldn't so I asked her why. She told me that she'd had many people ask her that very thing but every time she followed through and told them about it, they'd just get angry, which of course compounded the sin. I have to admit that I was totally shocked by that. I just couldn't even imagine someone getting angry because another believer had shown them that they were sinning. It just didn't make any sense at all to me!
Well I finally convinced her that I really meant it and wouldn't get angry. And so she began to tell me each time she'd see me sin. We set aside time at the end of the work day so it wouldn't interfere with work. She did a wonderful job of showing me my sins gently, just the way the Lord does. She never just dumped them on me but would point out one thing and then help me pray and work on it, looking at scripture that talked about that issue. Then we'd go onto the next thing etc. It was really wonderful and I grew SO MUCH during that time.
To me it was like having a spiritual mother. (or father I guess) As a child, I could count on my mother to always tell me the truth about myself, even if it was going to hurt, and then she'd help me do something to change it. And that's what we were doing now with her telling me about my sins. It's always much easier to see someone else's sins then to see your own. So it was a big help having her do that for me.
When I had to quit working due to an injury that made me disabled, I was no longer able to see her regularly and had to continue on my own. I really miss having someone that I can count on to tell me the Truth about me though. I've discovered for myself however that she was very right about most people not wanting to know what their sins are. I guess it goes back to pride. But I've seen more people get angry because they've been told they've done something wrong/they sinned, or that some belief was a false teaching, then anything else in the last 15 years. It still always takes me by surprise too.
How in the world can we conquer the sin in our lives if we don't realize it's there? Obviously the way to know about it is to know God's Word, but still, we're all experts at fooling ourselves. Well, at least I am. Since I am so good at it, I know I need help. I need to listen when others suggest I might be sinning, when others say I've done something I shouldn't have or that I have the wrong attitude about something or someone etc. So, that's what I try to do on my own now. Well, not really on my own, because the Lord always finds a way, a person, a situation or something to bring sin to my attention so I can deal with it.
Each Christian is called to help, stimulate, reprove, correct, and encourage one another within the body of Christ, and we're called to do that by using scripture, not by using worldly "wisdom" or anything else but scripture. In today's world, with it's focus on psychology and self help, feelings, experiences, being told we're all basically good, and tolerance of sin, it's very hard to find Christians who honestly and truly WANT to know when they've sinned and aren't going to turn on you in anger (adding to their sin) when they're told so. Much to my dismay, I've found that my mentor was right. Most people don't want to know when they're wrong about something, when they've sinned, all they really want is a pat on the back and a "atta boy" or "you're doing great!". Thankfully there are a few, but not many at all. The reason that's so very sad to me is because it should be the other way around. Every Christian should first realize that they are a sinner, even though they're saved and they should realize that they need to be shown their sins and be grateful when someone does so.
James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another. That's not talking about telling some priest so he can forgive you, because forgiveness comes from God alone. We're to talk to each other about our sins though for several reasons. One reason is that when we hide our sins from each other, it gives that sin more power over us. Sin and Satan love darkness and grow in the darkness. God loves the light and tells us to bring everything out into the light so it can't have any more power over us.
Another reason for this is that when we don't talk to others about it, we tend to let it fester inside us so that to us, it just seems bigger and nastier all the time. When we talk about it with other Christians, it brings the sin down to a manageable size because we're able to be reminded that God is bigger then our sin.
Yet another reason is because when we don't talk about it, there's the danger or forgetting it or even minimizing it to ourselves and thinking, "oh it's not so bad". Isn't it amazing how we'll go to either extreme when we hide our sins? We'll either allow them to become huge monsters that stop us or we'll turn them into playful little mice that don't really bother us, and both are sinful ways of dealing with our sin.
As members of one body, we should all want to help each other and we should all want help ourselves. I've just got to share something with you from a book I read as it surprised me by addressing this subject too:
How are we to deal with such people? Scripture says to admonish the wayward. The Greek term employed (nouthe-teō) means “to put sense into in light of the consequences.” If you know believers who are not doing their duty—not using their gifts, not being supportive of the team effort—come alongside and put some sense into their heads. One way to do that is to speak softly and say, “I’ve been noticing you haven’t been faithful in your attendance, you’re not involved in a ministry, and you tend to criticize the church. You realize, don’t you, that if you continue in that path, there are spiritual consequences, and I don’t think you want those consequences, nor do I want you to experience them.”
It’s to be a gentle, loving warning, yet also have some passion in it. That’s how the Apostle Paul warned the elders of the Ephesian church: “with tears” (Acts 20:31). There’s a hurt in it that says, “I don’t want you to keep going in that direction because God will chasten apathy and rebellion.” When you truly love someone, you don’t hesitate to warn him or her. I don’t hesitate to do that with my wife and children and others who are close to me. It’s not because of some agenda I’ve got, but because I don’t want them to have to deal with the inevitable consequences of being spiritually aloof. I want them and everyone else in the church to know the fullness of God’s blessing.
This confrontation is necessary. The point of coming to church isn’t sitting and staring at the back of someone’s head. It’s a fellowship; it’s being involved in the lives of fellow believers—including the troublesome ones.
MacArthur, J. Anxiety Attacked.
Christian accountability has to start somewhere, and it should start with each of us wanting to know what are sins are so we can repent and live lives worthy of our calling. The bible says that our hearts and minds are corrupted and the only way we can do this is through asking God to show us our sins and by asking other godly mature Christians to help hold us accountable. Then, when they do, we need to respond with grace instead of anger and embarrassment. We need to remember that this person has taken a risk to point out our sin to us, so we should respond with gratefulness. They aren't saying they're better then we are, they're saying they love us and want to help us improve our walk with the Lord. According to the Lord, we are our brother's keeper. The question before each of us is if we are going to be always prepared to correct, rebuke and encourage our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ from scripture or if we're going to be like the next verse in 2 Timothy says, a person who won't put up with sound doctrine. (2 Timothy 4:3)
“Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” (2 Timothy 4:2)
“When I say to a wicked man, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself. “Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself.”” (Ezekiel 3:18–21)
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1–2)
““If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15–17)
“Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.” (Proverbs 25:12)
“He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” (Proverbs 15:31–32)
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” (Proverbs 27:5–6)
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
!!
