Post by Cindy on Jan 1, 2019 8:39:03 GMT -5
I'm putting this here as the lack of true forgiveness (in our life or in the life of a loved one) often causes great trials for us. I couldn't believe it when I read this commentary about the story of Joseph (as that's what I'm studying at the moment). I'm accustomed to the Lord showing me things in His Word that are relevant to my life and answering my questions with what I'm reading in His Word that day, but this was as though someone had a birds eye view of what was going on in my life and wrote it all out for me to see in black and white! I wasn't surprised by what the Lord teaches us about forgiveness, I've been teaching the same thing for years. But like everyone else, I have a tendency to wonder if perhaps I'm not seeing things clearly at the present time or in the present circumstances and so ask the Lord to make it clear to me. He sure couldn't have made it any clearer than this!
Sometimes we salve our consciences by telling ourselves that it is all right to forgive someone but not necessarily to forget what he or she did. This is just an unbiblical way of harboring continued bitterness. (and bitterness makes us captive to sin! Acts 8:23) Compare what God teaches us about his own manner of forgiveness—Isa. 43:25; Jer. 31:34—with the command to forgive “as God in Christ also has forgiven you,” Eph. 4:32. But there is an even more serious error. While some of us convince ourselves that we have forgiven without forgetting, others of us make no pretense of forgiveness. We do not want to forgive. We just want to cut the offenders out of our lives and pretend they do not exist anymore. We want to forget so we do not have to forgive! That was Joseph. Look back at Genesis 41:50–51: Joseph had forgotten his brothers. And the heavy-handedness with which he treated them in Genesis 42 showed that he had forgotten without forgiving. And we are prone to the same, aren’t we? Sometimes it is easier to cut off a family member or friend than to forgive him or her. So we forget, but do not forgive. And we need a change.
There are those who convince themselves they have forgiven but not forgotten. There are others who have forgotten but not forgiven. And then there are those who, like Joseph’s brothers, need to experience forgiveness themselves! Notice how burdened with guilt they were. These men were guilty—and they knew it. Yet, unlike those who know they are guilty and have experienced the peace of Jesus, these men did not feel forgiven. Indeed, they could not. They had never dealt with their sin.
Neither forgiven nor forgotten. That is the phrase to describe Jacob’s response to his sons’ treachery. At least twenty years had passed since Joseph had disappeared, presumed to have been eaten by wild beasts. But Jacob had never gotten over it. Now, I suppose that no one ever really fully gets over the loss of a child. And I am not sure that we are supposed to. So it is not Jacob’s sadness over Joseph that was sinful. Jacob’s sin was in the fact that he still hadn’t forgiven his sons for whatever role they might have played in Joseph’s supposed death. Time should have allowed his wounds to heal and his bitterness to die. (Here I want to add that it's not time by itself, but rather daily time with the Lord and bringing our hurt to Him, telling Him all that's in our hearts, and then, reading His Word so that He can answer our questions, and heal our hearts; as He does those things by and with His Word.) Instead, his unforgiveness festered for two decades. But notice a second way Jacob responded to losing Joseph. He responded to losing one favorite son by crowning another—Benjamin—as his new favorite. His initial (and obvious) favoritism towards Joseph had been patently sinful. But, in losing Joseph, he was given a chance to recognize that and repent. Instead, he salved his wound by picking another favorite—by continuing in the very same sin! That may sound familiar to us. So many times, when God takes away one sinful habit, we simply replace it with another equally sinful habit. And we, like Jacob, need a change!
Joseph needed to forgive. His brothers needed to confess and be forgiven. And their father needed to forgive, forget, and lay down his favoritism. And, in Genesis 43–45, we find that God, through extraordinary difficulties and surprises, performed the work! And again, this family serves as an example to us. It reminds us, not only that we need changing, but also that God wants to change us—and that God has many ways of getting our attention and melting our hearts.
Opening up Genesis
For more understanding about forgiving God's way, see also:
Forgiving & Forgetting The Lord's Way
An Intensive Study about Forgiving and Forgetting
Sometimes we salve our consciences by telling ourselves that it is all right to forgive someone but not necessarily to forget what he or she did. This is just an unbiblical way of harboring continued bitterness. (and bitterness makes us captive to sin! Acts 8:23) Compare what God teaches us about his own manner of forgiveness—Isa. 43:25; Jer. 31:34—with the command to forgive “as God in Christ also has forgiven you,” Eph. 4:32. But there is an even more serious error. While some of us convince ourselves that we have forgiven without forgetting, others of us make no pretense of forgiveness. We do not want to forgive. We just want to cut the offenders out of our lives and pretend they do not exist anymore. We want to forget so we do not have to forgive! That was Joseph. Look back at Genesis 41:50–51: Joseph had forgotten his brothers. And the heavy-handedness with which he treated them in Genesis 42 showed that he had forgotten without forgiving. And we are prone to the same, aren’t we? Sometimes it is easier to cut off a family member or friend than to forgive him or her. So we forget, but do not forgive. And we need a change.
There are those who convince themselves they have forgiven but not forgotten. There are others who have forgotten but not forgiven. And then there are those who, like Joseph’s brothers, need to experience forgiveness themselves! Notice how burdened with guilt they were. These men were guilty—and they knew it. Yet, unlike those who know they are guilty and have experienced the peace of Jesus, these men did not feel forgiven. Indeed, they could not. They had never dealt with their sin.
Neither forgiven nor forgotten. That is the phrase to describe Jacob’s response to his sons’ treachery. At least twenty years had passed since Joseph had disappeared, presumed to have been eaten by wild beasts. But Jacob had never gotten over it. Now, I suppose that no one ever really fully gets over the loss of a child. And I am not sure that we are supposed to. So it is not Jacob’s sadness over Joseph that was sinful. Jacob’s sin was in the fact that he still hadn’t forgiven his sons for whatever role they might have played in Joseph’s supposed death. Time should have allowed his wounds to heal and his bitterness to die. (Here I want to add that it's not time by itself, but rather daily time with the Lord and bringing our hurt to Him, telling Him all that's in our hearts, and then, reading His Word so that He can answer our questions, and heal our hearts; as He does those things by and with His Word.) Instead, his unforgiveness festered for two decades. But notice a second way Jacob responded to losing Joseph. He responded to losing one favorite son by crowning another—Benjamin—as his new favorite. His initial (and obvious) favoritism towards Joseph had been patently sinful. But, in losing Joseph, he was given a chance to recognize that and repent. Instead, he salved his wound by picking another favorite—by continuing in the very same sin! That may sound familiar to us. So many times, when God takes away one sinful habit, we simply replace it with another equally sinful habit. And we, like Jacob, need a change!
Joseph needed to forgive. His brothers needed to confess and be forgiven. And their father needed to forgive, forget, and lay down his favoritism. And, in Genesis 43–45, we find that God, through extraordinary difficulties and surprises, performed the work! And again, this family serves as an example to us. It reminds us, not only that we need changing, but also that God wants to change us—and that God has many ways of getting our attention and melting our hearts.
Opening up Genesis
For more understanding about forgiving God's way, see also:
Forgiving & Forgetting The Lord's Way
An Intensive Study about Forgiving and Forgetting
!!
