Post by Cindy on Apr 30, 2017 10:24:37 GMT -5
I've thought a lot about mixed marriages over the years. Everyone in a mixed marriage hopes and prays their partner will be saved, but none of us can be sure it will happen. Often the Christian dies with that prayer still on their lips. I know for myself at least that reading the passage that speaks to this, I never, ever thought of it as a command, and yet it is. It's every bit as binding on us as the command to love God with all our hearts. But I suspect most of us don't think of that with this or most other passages. But let's read part of that passage together: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”” (2 Corinthians 6:14–16)
We are the children of God. As God's children, we are being transformed into His likeness. As all earthly children have the characteristics of their parents, so we too have the characteristics of our Heavenly Father, and those are growing stronger every day. (or should be). Someone who is unsaved, also has the characteristics of their father, and this is the part that none of us like to think about - their father is Satan, and it's his characteristics they have. (1 John 3:8-10; John 8:44–45; Acts 26:18) We also had his characteristics before we were saved, but thanks to the Lord, we were given a new nature so we could be like Him. When we really reflect on that, it makes a lot of sense that we should not be joined together with an unbeliever. I guess God actually knew what He was talking about! We even see in the OT that God consistently told the Israelites not to marry into pagan families. They were only to marry other Israelites as they'd all been called by God and set apart by Him. We also see many of the problems that marrying an unbeliever causes when we read the OT, because like us, they also didn't obey the Lord.
The bottom line seems to be that once again God gave us a commandment that was meant to protect us and help us, but we choose to ignore it thinking that we know better and it won't be like that for us. I can tell you from experience though, that it will be bad for us and we will reap the consequences of both disobeying the Lord and the consequences of being yoked to an unbeliever. This brings me to another way that we tend to twist God's Word about this. Often we'll ask our loved one if they're saved, and not knowing what we really mean, and not wanting to lose us, they'll reply that they are. Then we go off and marry them, knowing deep inside that there's something wrong but not wanting to look at it. However, we still wind up reaping what we've sowed because they're still really an unbeliever, no matter what they said. Therefore it's important that we realize that God is not saying we can marry anyone who says they believe. Like everything else, He tells us to judge rightly in this. That means we have to have seen that they live their faith all the time, that they spend time in His Word daily and are concerned about their spiritual growth. That way if we marry them, they will be the true head of our home and will be willing and able to make sure we are also growing spiritually, the way the lord intends for our marriages to be. They will be a help to us rather than a hindrance.
When married, an unbeliever will always be a hindrance to the believers spiritual growth. They can't help but be that way. It's their sin nature, and the nature of their father. So when we marry an unbeliever, we're putting ourselves in the position of having a MUCH harder life than we would have if we'd married another believer. During the years ahead we will often be praying for help because of a trial that wouldn't have happened had we not married an unbeliever. I don't know how many times over the years that I've begged and pleaded with people who were intent on marrying an unbeliever, not to. Every time they thought I was being horribly mean because I wouldn't drop it. But how can you watch a friend you love walk into a field filled with landmines and not do all you can to prevent it? I can't, and so I generally wound up losing that person as a friend. Far better that I lose a friend for now than that I allow them to walk into that blindly. If only we would take the Lord seriously, we would avoid so much heartache and so many problems!
Look at another scripture we're all familiar with: ““Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4–5) Tell me, how can two people who have two completely opposite natures - one belonging to God and the other to Satan, become "one flesh"? Now read again the passage we began with: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”” (2 Corinthians 6:14–16) When we were saved, we made the decision that God would be first in our life, before anyone or anything, including ourselves. The unsaved person didn't do that. We said that God would be our Lord and Master and that we would live for Him, they didn't. They live for themselves and without knowing it, for Satan. I could continue with this line of thinking, but I'm sure you can all take it from here. The problem is that as in all marriages, compromises happen, and in the case of a believer married to the unbeliever, the compromises are usually ones which go against God's Will. We begin living in the world instead of being separate from it. Often we even wind up choosing the world over God. We forget we're told: “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” (James 4:4) and “You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons.” (1 Corinthians 10:21)
If you are contemplating marrying an unbeliever, please, please don't do it! If the person loves you, then you have a good chance of leading them to God IF you first refuse to marry them until they know and love the Lord as you do! If you marry them first, chances are good that it won't happen, but right now, you have a fantastic opportunity to lead them to the Lord and then you can marry them with no reservations. Just remember to wait long enough so that you've seen their growth and no that it's not superficial.
What if you're already married to an unbeliever? We are told in 1 Corinthians 7:12–16 not to get a divorce. Instead we're to ask forgiveness for our sin if we were saved before we married them and pray for their salvation. Now comes the hard part, because you must live your faith better than ever before, for that is what may wind up bringing your husband to faith. You must submit to your husband, and be gentle and loving at all times toward all people. You must apply God's Word to your life and live it to the best of your ability with His help, and continually pray for your husbands salvation. “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (1 Timothy 4:16) “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1–2) May the Lord help you persevere as you work toward the salvation of your loved one.
We are the children of God. As God's children, we are being transformed into His likeness. As all earthly children have the characteristics of their parents, so we too have the characteristics of our Heavenly Father, and those are growing stronger every day. (or should be). Someone who is unsaved, also has the characteristics of their father, and this is the part that none of us like to think about - their father is Satan, and it's his characteristics they have. (1 John 3:8-10; John 8:44–45; Acts 26:18) We also had his characteristics before we were saved, but thanks to the Lord, we were given a new nature so we could be like Him. When we really reflect on that, it makes a lot of sense that we should not be joined together with an unbeliever. I guess God actually knew what He was talking about! We even see in the OT that God consistently told the Israelites not to marry into pagan families. They were only to marry other Israelites as they'd all been called by God and set apart by Him. We also see many of the problems that marrying an unbeliever causes when we read the OT, because like us, they also didn't obey the Lord.
The bottom line seems to be that once again God gave us a commandment that was meant to protect us and help us, but we choose to ignore it thinking that we know better and it won't be like that for us. I can tell you from experience though, that it will be bad for us and we will reap the consequences of both disobeying the Lord and the consequences of being yoked to an unbeliever. This brings me to another way that we tend to twist God's Word about this. Often we'll ask our loved one if they're saved, and not knowing what we really mean, and not wanting to lose us, they'll reply that they are. Then we go off and marry them, knowing deep inside that there's something wrong but not wanting to look at it. However, we still wind up reaping what we've sowed because they're still really an unbeliever, no matter what they said. Therefore it's important that we realize that God is not saying we can marry anyone who says they believe. Like everything else, He tells us to judge rightly in this. That means we have to have seen that they live their faith all the time, that they spend time in His Word daily and are concerned about their spiritual growth. That way if we marry them, they will be the true head of our home and will be willing and able to make sure we are also growing spiritually, the way the lord intends for our marriages to be. They will be a help to us rather than a hindrance.
When married, an unbeliever will always be a hindrance to the believers spiritual growth. They can't help but be that way. It's their sin nature, and the nature of their father. So when we marry an unbeliever, we're putting ourselves in the position of having a MUCH harder life than we would have if we'd married another believer. During the years ahead we will often be praying for help because of a trial that wouldn't have happened had we not married an unbeliever. I don't know how many times over the years that I've begged and pleaded with people who were intent on marrying an unbeliever, not to. Every time they thought I was being horribly mean because I wouldn't drop it. But how can you watch a friend you love walk into a field filled with landmines and not do all you can to prevent it? I can't, and so I generally wound up losing that person as a friend. Far better that I lose a friend for now than that I allow them to walk into that blindly. If only we would take the Lord seriously, we would avoid so much heartache and so many problems!
Look at another scripture we're all familiar with: ““Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4–5) Tell me, how can two people who have two completely opposite natures - one belonging to God and the other to Satan, become "one flesh"? Now read again the passage we began with: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”” (2 Corinthians 6:14–16) When we were saved, we made the decision that God would be first in our life, before anyone or anything, including ourselves. The unsaved person didn't do that. We said that God would be our Lord and Master and that we would live for Him, they didn't. They live for themselves and without knowing it, for Satan. I could continue with this line of thinking, but I'm sure you can all take it from here. The problem is that as in all marriages, compromises happen, and in the case of a believer married to the unbeliever, the compromises are usually ones which go against God's Will. We begin living in the world instead of being separate from it. Often we even wind up choosing the world over God. We forget we're told: “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” (James 4:4) and “You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons.” (1 Corinthians 10:21)
If you are contemplating marrying an unbeliever, please, please don't do it! If the person loves you, then you have a good chance of leading them to God IF you first refuse to marry them until they know and love the Lord as you do! If you marry them first, chances are good that it won't happen, but right now, you have a fantastic opportunity to lead them to the Lord and then you can marry them with no reservations. Just remember to wait long enough so that you've seen their growth and no that it's not superficial.
What if you're already married to an unbeliever? We are told in 1 Corinthians 7:12–16 not to get a divorce. Instead we're to ask forgiveness for our sin if we were saved before we married them and pray for their salvation. Now comes the hard part, because you must live your faith better than ever before, for that is what may wind up bringing your husband to faith. You must submit to your husband, and be gentle and loving at all times toward all people. You must apply God's Word to your life and live it to the best of your ability with His help, and continually pray for your husbands salvation. “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (1 Timothy 4:16) “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1–2) May the Lord help you persevere as you work toward the salvation of your loved one.
!!
