|
|
Post by Cindy on Feb 14, 2017 13:32:06 GMT -5
What do you think about when you're eating, or doing housework, or going for a drive with Leonard, or cooking dinner (if you do)? I don't actually schedule time for reflection exactly, although I guess you could say I do as it's something I do during my study time. In other words, I don't just read and study whatever portion I'm doing that day, I also take time afterward to talk to the Lord about what I just read and studied about. But it's not just talking to Him either. It's more like thinking about what I studied, reflecting on it, and telling the Lord everything that comes to my mind as I do so. Do you know what I mean? After that, I generally finish my time by praying for my family and friends, including you guys. The next thing I do is come here to FH, and post in christian chat and then here. If I have time, I'll make some other posts. About noon I turn my computer off and get going on the chores. I usually clean the litter box and then spend time rolling cigarettes for Bruce. That takes about an hour and I do it sitting down. Instead of turning on the TV, I use that time to continue to talk to the Lord, and or pray for family or friends, or just reflect on what I studied some more, or sometimes all of those things. (because when I'm in a lot of pain, it takes longer for me to do the chore lol) Later, when I'm doing other housework, if I can, like the laundry or dishes or even cooking dinner, I again spend that time talking to the Lord (in my mind if Bruce is home lol) praying and reflecting on what I learned and how I can apply it etc. So basically, I use every opportunity I can, when I don't have to be actively listening to someone or actively using my mind to do something. For example, I can't do that when I'm working on paying the bills because I have to be extra careful that I don't mess up. I generally pray for the Lord to help me before starting or if I'm having a hard time balancing the check book, I'll pray and ask for His help, but other than that, I have to use my mind to think about what I'm doing so I can't use that time to reflect on anything. But if I'm doing the dishes, my mind can be thinking about anything since i don't need to use it to do that chore. See what I mean?
Please know that I'm not setting myself up as the perfect example, because I'm far from perfect! I mess up and I sin just as much as anyone does. I only used my routine as an example because it was all I could think of to show how our lives should be. There are many times when I slip up and watch TV or think about something else instead of keeping my eyes on the Lord, but in general, I have set up a routine with the Lord's help, to make Him real in my life, and have seen the benefits of it.
It's part of making the Lord the master of your whole life, and not just someone you speak to once in a while or read about daily for a short time. Remember in the books Moses wrote when God laid down all His laws about how He wanted them to live? God made sure that they would have to think about Him no matter what they were doing, all day and night long, except when they were asleep. They had to know what foods were clean and what weren't, and how they could cook those they were allowed to eat. They had to know what kind of pots they could use to cook in, and what kind they could store food in, as well as which foods they could store and which they couldn't. They had to know what to do if the woman had her period, or if the man had a discharge, or if they found mildew in their home or clothing, or utensils etc. what to do for various common illnesses, and what to do after they had sex or after a woman had a baby, or when a child was betrothed. God made sure that every part of their lives was connected in some way to Him. Back then, He did so with rules, and if they didn't keep those rules they were punished by their elders. In our time, the age of Grace, He does the same thing but does it with His love, grace and mercy. In other words, He wants to be a part of every aspect of our lives, but instead of giving us rules to follow with an "or else" attached to them, He simply commands us to love Him with all our hearts, minds and strength; He commands us to "remain in Him at all times" etc. When we don't do so, the punishment is simply that we slip back into our old ways, or in some cases, simply never change in some areas. At the very worst case, we grieve the Holy Spirit and harden our hearts against Him. Thankfully, because we are living in the age of Grace, we can always confess and repent and then begin anew at any time.
When we obey Him in this, we will find that the changes happen in us much faster. We generally don't notice it at first especially until we look back and compare how we were before with how we are now. If we do that every six months or every year even, then we'll see that He is changing us from the inside out, and the changes are happening much faster than they did before. A change may have taken 20 years before, now takes 6 months! It's amazing! Among those changes is that we discover our feelings begin to match our faith, and we begin to not just realize that there is a spiritual realm or reality all around us, but we begin to see it. I don't mean we see it with our physical eyes, (although that can happen at times too) but more that we realize it's there, and have a knowing of what's going on in that reality around us and our loved ones. I'm not just speaking of Satan and demons, but of the Lord, and His angels, and what's happening. We begin to realize that there's a great deal more to our life than we were ever aware of before, and that the vast majority of what's most important to our lives is what's happening in the spiritual realm, not the physical realm. Little by little, we begin to realize and recognize that our life is not limited to this physical realm anymore, but also happens in the spiritual realm as well. From that point we begin to really understand why we will never die and all of it becomes something we "know" instead of something we "believe".
But for all of that to happen, for us to live the life God has for us, what Jesus called living it to the full, or an abundant life (depending on the version you read), we must be in His Word daily, studying it with Him, and reflecting on it throughout the day - making God and His Word part of every part of our lives, no matter what we're doing. In other words, we don't take some time to study His Word, and then get on with our day as usual, the way we always have. Instead, the Lord Jesus Christ becomes the Lord and Master of every part of our life. He begins to truly be first in our lives because we no longer put ourselves, our life, or anything or anyone else above Him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Feb 14, 2017 13:33:56 GMT -5
I have something that I've meant to share with you for a long time. It's about us and our adult children. It's from a fiction book I read that was just awesome. I think you'll like it. In it, the characters were doing a bible study about the prodigal son which starts at Luke 15:11 . Here's what the book says about it:
“Well, then, you must understand that the boy became no criminal. He was not thrown in prison. We have no indication that he was an excessively wicked young man. Well, it says he lived riotously—I suppose that doesn’t sound very good. But his chief immaturity was simply that he wanted his inheritance prematurely. He suffered from that malady that is at the root of all sin—the pride of independence. And for that alone he is known for all time as the prodigal. He left his father’s home. He squandered his inheritance. He lived out in one life that great story of the human race. He did that which we all have done toward our Father in heaven.”
Here Timothy paused. The silence was lengthy. They were all thinking of Amanda.
“And yet,” he went on at length, “a moment came when, as the Lord says, the young man came to himself. He came to his senses. He woke up. The fog of self-delusion lifted. He matured. He began at last to see things clearly. And the first truth he saw was his father.
“Suddenly he saw the truth to which he had been blind—such an obvious truth, no doubt obvious to all who knew this family. The son’s rebellious independence had caused him to turn from it. But now he saw what a fool he had been. The eyes of his heart were opened at last to see that he had been hasty and unwise.
“Actually,” continued Timothy, “I believe he perceived two huge truths. He saw that his father was a good man. And he saw that things had not really been so bad at home. And with those realizations, already he was on his feet. His rebellion was behind him. The image of his father was before him. ‘I will arise,’ he said, ‘and go to my father.’
“To my mind, these are eight of the most beautiful words in all Scripture, encapsulating the one and only solution to the entire human dilemma.
“‘Father,’ the prodigal says, ‘I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ It is the salvation prayer. And here is salvation indeed! Such is the prayer we must all pray—we are not worthy to be God’s sons and daughters, for we have sinned against him. Yet he accepts us, his arms thrown wide to embrace us! How great indeed must be God’s love!
“Does not your heart swell to envision the scene? The dusty road . . . the father waiting . . . the figure approaching in the distance. The father’s heart leaps! Can it . . . but . . . yes! Already he is beginning to run, shouting behind him—‘Wife . . . wife!’ he cries. ‘Come . . . come quickly!’
“Now the figure in the distance throws bag and staff to the ground . . . he is running forward . . . there is no mistaking him now!
“The woman emerges from the house. There before her eyes she beholds the scene about which she has dreamed night and day, only half believing the day would ever come. She runs after them now . . . tears flowing down her face . . . her son’s name on her lips. Ahead of her, father and son embrace in the middle of the road. She weeps with such joy that she can scarcely continue. . . .”
A sob broke at last from Jocelyn’s lips.
“Oh, Timothy—if only I could believe such a moment will come to us!” she said.
“But you can believe it . . . you must believe it.”
“But how can I?”
“You can believe it, Jocelyn,” replied Timothy, “because God is good. He is the father, and it is he whose house Amanda has left and whose inheritance she is squandering, not yours.”
“His house?”
“Of course. Amanda is his daughter first of all. She has only been given to you for a few brief years, but she is his for all eternity. The two of you have been granted the wonderful privilege of joining in the divine fatherhood, of sharing in the pain and joy depicted in Luke fifteen. I truly believe it is a privilege, an opportunity to partake of the heart of God, to pray a prodigal back into the family of God. It is not a privilege the Lord gives to the faint of heart, for it is a high calling.”
They considered his words for a minute in silence.
“What exactly do you think God wants us to do?” asked Jocelyn at length.
“He calls upon you and Charles merely to wait, patiently and prayerfully and expectantly—gazing down the road in hope, feet ready to run, smiles prepared to break from your lips, forgiveness alive in your hearts, arms aching to embrace in welcome, fatted calf waiting in readiness.
“Ah, but he—the Father whose bosom Amanda has left even more than she has left yours . . . he is already pursuing her to the far country. There he will woo her among the swine husks. You must wait, but he will woo. Silently and invisibly will he speak truths into her heart about her Father’s home and the inheritance that awaits her there. He will woo her, and win her . . . as he woos and wins all prodigals in the end.”
Later in the book....
But there was something different about this morning. I felt the Lord might perhaps be revealing a new way for me to pray.
“I left the bedroom and went downstairs. As soon as I got to the sun-room and it was barely light, I found myself praying again, this time for clarity and focus. ‘Lord,’ I said, ‘perhaps it is too much to ask that Amanda’s whole life be turned around miraculously in huge repentance and vision. I know you can do so. But perhaps you want her eyes to open slowly, so as to grow used to the light by degrees. Perhaps a brilliant flash of illumination all at once would blind the eyes so long accustomed to shadows. So I am going to ask you simply for a tiny miracle—not for you to change her life all at once, although I hope that will come in time . . . but for one moment of clarity. Give her just a glimpse, Lord, of the reality of what she is doing, even if just for a second. Send in just the amount of light she is capable of seeing today. As Amanda’s mother, even though she is not here with us, I take authority and bind any deaf or blind spirit that is preventing Amanda’s seeing and hearing the truth, so that God’s light might penetrate, however briefly, the darkness surrounding her. Allow clarity to penetrate. Give her illumination of truth, one small bit at a time.’”
The cottage fell silent.
All seven felt the prophetic impact of Jocelyn’s words.
“I knew almost immediately,” she added, “and somehow in a new way, that God was indeed watching over our daughter. I felt a deeper sense of peace than I have felt since she left. God loves Amanda. Everything you said last night, Timothy, is true. He is her Father. He will care for her.”
“Amen!” said Timothy. “We can be certain of that. He has promised—”
He paused and glanced about.
“Is there a Bible handy?” he asked.
Maggie rose and took her mother’s Bible from the ornate secretary. She handed it to Diggorsfeld. He opened the ancient book carefully and flipped through the pages.
“Yes, here it is—Psalm 121,” he said. “‘He that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep,’” he read. “‘The Lord is thy keeper.’”
He glanced up, closed the Bible, then added, “He has promised that he never sleeps in his care for us. I believe this is especially true for his lost sheep.”
Again silence fell. It was Bobby McFee who broke it, speaking in his unrepentant Irish brogue.
“I’m thinking,” he said, “that ’tis a true revelation ye’ve had, Jocelyn. Fer from a thousand instants o’ clarity like the one ye’re describing, one added t’ the other, will come the insight t’ make bigger repentance possible. They all pile up. From one moment o’ true seeing, the next such moment can add a little more light. ’Tis a way o’ bringing yer prayers down t’ something ye know God can do right now, this very day. What do ye think, Master Charles?”
“I was reflecting along those very same lines, Bobby,” said Charles. “I think the Lord may have given Jocelyn a word of revelation to help us all to pray for Amanda with greater faith. In fact, the more I consider the thing, it may have more power for us than for Amanda.”
“Why, Papa?” asked Catharine. “Why us?”
“Let me ask you a question, Catharine,” replied Charles. “When you pray for Amanda to wake up and see God and herself in a true light and to come back home, do you truly believe she will do so tomorrow or, say, next week?”
“I don’t suppose so,” replied Amanda’s sister. “I pray, but it is hard to think of Amanda changing all at once.”
“Exactly. But can you envision her having just one tiny instant of seeing—maybe remembering a happy occasion from childhood?”
Catharine nodded. “That’s not so difficult to imagine.”
“That’s it—of course!” now exclaimed Timothy. “Praying for such tiny slices, as it were, helps us increase our faith to believe our own prayers. You’ve hit upon it, Charles! We can pray, genuinely believing, that God is going to send that momentary flash of light, and that it will penetrate.”
“My whole attitude has been different today,” said Jocelyn. “For the first time, I really do believe as I pray for her. I can sense God’s answer on the way immediately—the loosing of an arrow of clarity from his bow.”
“A good analogy, Jocelyn!” said Timothy. “You ought to be a preacher!”
“But it’s true,” said Jocelyn. “I’ve never felt anything quite like it when praying ever in my life. There is a strong and deep assurance that it will happen. I truly think that Amanda has had such a moment today. You’re right, Timothy—it’s my faith to believe my own prayers that has suddenly grown.”
Phillips, M. (2015). Wild grows the heather in devon (the secrets of heathersleigh hall book #1). I realize this really doesn't belong on this thread, but since I know that it bothers you that your children aren't saved, in another way, it does belong here as this can help you (and has helped me) deal with that in our lives. I have something else I want to share from this book with you that is very much something that does belong here though. I'll do that in my next post.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Feb 15, 2017 11:17:33 GMT -5
What I'm about to share from the book with you, and what I posted in my very first post are two things that I think you need to continue to grow the way you want to. I know this is long, but I wanted to try and get everything for you so you'd really understand, but it would be even better if you could actually read the book itself. It's really great and teaches us a lot about ourselves and the Lord.
“But how can we know God has to be good?” asked Jocelyn. “After Charles explained his prayer of acceptance to me two years ago, I eventually realized that I too wanted to give my heart to the Lord. But I did so on faith, not because I suddenly saw everything differently. I know God is good. I have accepted it. But that too I accepted on faith. When doubts come, that is the first point where my faith is attacked.”
“Such is natural,” replied the pastor, “exactly as Mrs. McFee has said. I face the struggle too.”
“But I want to know that God must be good,” Jocelyn went on, “—that there is no alternative, that it is impossible for him to be evil no matter what happens. Is it possible to know that? Can we know he is good no matter how bad things may seem, no matter how much suffering I or anyone faces?”
“Timothy, I know you must have noticed my face,” she went on after a moment, “although you are kind enough to pretend not to. How could you not notice? Well, this . . . disfigurement . . . remains a struggle for me to understand. Charles has convinced me that I must learn to thank God for it, and I try, but half the time I must do so only out of obedience. That this mark could be a sign of God’s goodness and trustworthiness . . . well, that still remains very difficult for me to grasp in a practical way.”
Again she paused, then went on. “I do see his goodness around me,” she said. “That Charles loves me, that I have a home and family and friends, that the downs and the woods are so beautiful—all this, as you have said, tell me of God’s goodness. But I see things that confuse me too. Not just my birthmark, but the pain I have seen in the hospital where I worked, the poverty and sickness of the people in India, where I grew up. The cruelty one person shows to another.
“So you say we can know that God is good, all the time, and in all things. But my question to you is still how?”
“You’ve asked the question that has most puzzled both common men and women as well as theologians for millennia,” replied Diggorsfeld thoughtfully. “I don’t believe there are any easy answers.”
“But you think there are answers?”
“I believe that answers exist for every conundrum it is possible for the human brain to pose.”
“If I came to you, then, as an unbeliever, and asked this—How can we know God is good? . . . what would you tell me?”
Diggorsfeld considered Jocelyn’s question for several moments. No one else seemed inclined to speak. He knew this was no abstract point of theory for his friend’s wife, but something her new faith hungered passionately to understand.
“That what is fundamentally evil cannot create out of nothing,” Timothy answered at length.
“I’m sorry—I’m afraid I do not see the connection,” said Jocelyn.
“Even atheists and pure chance evolutionists would generally agree that life is a good thing. Wouldn’t you say so, Charles?” he added, turning toward Jocelyn’s husband.
Charles thought a moment. “I’m afraid I’ll have to reflect on that,” he said. “It’s not something I have really considered before now.”
“Look at it this way, then,” Diggorsfeld continued. “Evil could not have brought about life, because life is good. Whatever creative power exists in the universe, somehow life came about from original nothingness. For that to have happened, good must be at the root of it. Evil could not, by definition, have produced something as remarkable and inherently good as life itself.”
“Why?”
“Because evil has no life of its own. It is only corrupted good.”
“Might not someone argue,” Charles asked carefully, “that life, rather than being inherently good, is simply random, good mixed with bad? I only raise the point because for so long I myself adhered to the theory of chance. So I pose the question to advocate for the devil, as it were.”
“They could argue that,” replied Diggorsfeld, “but only illogically. If you thought in such fashion at one time, Charles, then I would say you did so having abandoned logical reason.”
Charles laughed. “I would not contest your assertion.”
“Creation produces beauty—that is good,” Diggorsfeld went on. “Life sustains and reproduces itself—that is good. Love and compassion and kindness exist—they are all good. No theory of randomness can explain them. Any thorough observation of what we see around us—even a nonspiritual one—resoundingly validates good as being far more in evidence than evil.”
“But you would agree that evil is present in the midst of the good?”
“Of course. But as a secondary thing. The good is foundational, the evil only a parasite living off the decaying fragments of its edges.”
“What about death?” now asked Bobby.
“Death all the more proves the point that good is the foundation of all things.”
“I’m afraid I do not follow you at all,” laughed Charles. “Death seems to me the most compelling argument against a universal goodness.”
“Quite the contrary,” rejoined Diggorsfeld. “Death proves a foundation of goodness in the universe.”
“What—how so?”
“Actually . . . I do not even believe in death.”
“Because of eternal life, you mean?” said Maggie.
“There is that. But I mean that even were I not a Christian, I would still say death as a thing in and of itself does not exist at all.”
“You say death does not exist!” exclaimed Charles.
“No—I said as a thing in and of itself, death does not exist.”
“But death is all around us.”
“I will respond to your perplexity by posing another question: What do you consider death to be?”
The others all thought a moment.
“Is it not merely the end o’ life as we know it?” suggested Bobby.
The others thought and one by one nodded their heads.
“Exactly,” said the pastor. “You see, death is not something that can exist on its own. To repeat my point from earlier—it is a parasite, a corruption. The very word signifies nothing as a thing you can isolate and look at. It only means the moment when life ends. Without life—which I still maintain is inherently a good thing—there is no death, no evil, no bad, no wickedness, nothing to go what we call wrong. Therefore, even death and evil and badness and wickedness all prove that a good foundation exists upholding the universe. Without that good foundation, none of the bad things could be there at all.”
“More even than that,” put in the Irishman, “—’tis a mysterious doorway into yet more and better life t’ come. So what looks like a cruelty t’ us, in reality is the best part o’ life o’ all.”
“Bravo, McFee!” exclaimed Diggorsfeld. “Yes—that is the triumphant reality. Another reason not even to believe in death!”
“But if I may continue to ply the devil’s counterargument,” said Charles, “might I ask something further?”
“Of course.”
“I still am uncertain how you can maintain that because life exists, it is good. I think many would disagree with you there.”
“You are right. Many would. And I suppose that at some point one does have to take one’s essential foundational beliefs on faith. And yet I believe that life itself must be seen by any rational, thinking, reasonable man or woman as essentially a good thing. Surely the existence of life implies—no, necessitates—a causative, foundational, creative Good at the back of it. People can say differently. Many modernists and humanists do say differently. But I contend that there is no evidence to back up their assertions. They have their conclusions formed and they express views based upon their backwards logic, without ever examining the real world in a truly rational manner. The evidence of life is all on my side of the argument—validating, everywhere you look, the existence of a good foundation in the universe.”
“But what is that evidence?”
“Care to answer that, Mr. McFee? I think I detect a twinkle in your eye.”
The Irishman chuckled. “It seems t’ me,” he replied, “that nothing more nor less than our rich fellowship here, and the bonding o’ our hearts in brotherhood over tea and good talk together, offers the very proof we’re looking for. When ye look at the thing reasonably—like ye yerself say, Mr. Diggorsfeld, with the logic o’ the brain—wouldn’t ye all say that when individuals get t’ know one another in a right way, love is produced?”
He glanced about. Heads nodded.
“Are not our human hearts at this moment warm toward one another?” Bobby went on. “When we eat food, like my Maggie’s scones with clotted cream that we had with our tea, not only ’tis the experience pleasurable, the food sustains life and makes us strong. What can that be but good? Food, fellowship, strong bodies, pleasure, beauty—there’s the evidence o’ goodness in front o’ our eyes!”
Again he was greeted with nods of agreement.
“Ye see, food doesn’t make us sick and weak. It strengthens these bodies o’ ours. ’Tis a good thing.”
“Exactly,” said Diggorsfeld. “The created world may contain pain—indeed, we know it does!—but is not the world still more intrinsically beautiful than it is ugly? All these things, and ten thousand more, argue constantly that good is behind it.”
Since posing her initial queries, Jocelyn had listened to the rest of the discussion intrigued. This was no abstract philosophical discussion to her ears, but the very breath of life. This was the question she had wrestled with all the days of her existence, it seemed—the question of how Goodness could have produced a face like hers.
If she could only get to the bottom of it, she thought, then all would be well. If she could only understand the mysterious relationship between good and evil and know beyond doubt that good was the supreme of the two—then truly could she give thanks for the fingerprint God had placed upon her, however much pain it brought with it. If she could but know that mark as coming from the hand of Good, she could rest and be grateful.
This evening’s fellowship and discussion had begun to open the door into the revelation of that truth. It was one which would slowly and quietly change her life—even more than her conversion had. For as she began from this evening forward to take hold of the undeniable fact of the Father’s goodness in a new way, the eyes of her understanding would open to much she had been unable to see before.
“But what about when something truly awful happens?” she now asked, “A child being taken in a cruel death, or an accident in a mine that kills hundreds of men . . . how does one believe in God’s goodness at such times?”
“I think we may well ask why,” replied Diggorsfeld. “Asking God why things happen is, it seems to me, an integral part of what it means for a mortal to walk in faith, for we wouldn’t ask if we didn’t have faith that God knows the answer! But we do not see as God does. Much appears evil and unfair to our obscured sight. But we are nevertheless commanded to walk in faith, trusting in his sight more than we trust in our own. We can and perhaps should ask him why, as long as we trust him even when answers may be slow to come.”
“But how, in the midst of that, do we keep sight of the fact that he is good?”
“I do not think the question Why? necessitates doubting God’s goodness. We may ask why. I think it is even good and appropriate to ask why, as a necessary part of our prayer-dialogue with God. But we must not doubt his goodness—that is, not without its eventually eroding our faith.
“God’s goodness is and must remain the foundation. With the underpinnings of goodness and trustworthiness solid, any number of questions, even doubts, even crying angrily to God as Job did—all these are allowed.
“Job cried out Why? to God in a hundred ways. Yet he retained the foundational belief in God’s sovereignty in the face of his whys and his doubts. His wife told him to curse God and die. Job replied, No, God is good, though I do not understand his ways. The two expressions of uncertainty are very different. Asking a good God why is a legitimate aspect of faith. We may question why to the depths of our beings, yet without questioning the Father’s goodness. The foundation of goodness remains, even amid a sea of unanswered whys.”
While Mr. Diggorsfeld was speaking, Maggie had risen quietly to refill the kettle. Another round of tea and scones soon followed, and the discussion gradually drifted into other channels, though it continued to give all five much to think about.
several chapters later.....
The incident was suddenly as vivid as yesterday. Eight-year-old Jocelyn Wildecott struggled to climb down from the carriage after her mother. The Bombay street was wet and slippery from recent rains. So too were the carriage steps.
Mrs. Wildecott, stepping carefully herself to avoid the wet patches in the street, did not have hold of her daughter’s hand. The tiny white thing repulsed her, and she would touch it only if absolutely compelled to do so. Such occasions were extremely rare.
On the bottom step young Jocelyn slipped, stumbling to the ground and onto her knees in the mud.
A cry escaped her lips.
“Shh!” sounded the stern voice of her mother towering above her. “Get up—do you want everyone to see? And keep your feet out of the puddles!”
The girl glanced up, where a small crowd of women stood in front of the church. A few heads had turned toward them. She was agonizingly aware that eyes now watched her and her mother. Small wonder that as she grew, the place had never become for her a symbol of life, but only one of pain and humiliation.
Mrs. Wildecott stooped down, pretending for the sake of the onlookers to help her daughter up, but in fact lending no hand of support.
“Stand up!” she whispered to Jocelyn. “As if your face isn’t enough, you have to find other ways to embarrass me in front of my friends.”
Jocelyn managed to regain her feet, tears rising in her eyes. They were more from her mother’s cruel words than the stinging of her knees. But she would blink back the tears until they were dry. She could not let her mother see them.
Mrs. Wildecott took a handkerchief, brushed it roughly against the two thin knees, succeeding in removing most of the stain, then tossed the muddy cloth onto the floor of the carriage. With her daughter again halfway presentable, which was the most the lady ever hoped for, Mrs. Wildecott stood again to her full height, turned, and walked smiling toward the gathering at the church steps.
Doing her best to keep her head tilted slightly downward, and the side of her birthmark turned away from view, Jocelyn silently followed.
Jocelyn Rutherford shook her head, trying to rid herself of the painful memory of childhood. She had felt the sting of a parent’s rejection no less than Stirling Blakeley. She had had to learn both to forgive and to discover what good there was to glean from it.
They followed the brick-lined path into the garden, strolling casually and aimlessly through its winding depths, passing between hedges and single shrubs and beside rock gardens. They crossed the small winding stream in several places, here by bridge, now by large rocks in its midst. Except for a few species of dwarfed pine, nothing grew here but heather blooming in variegated shades of white, pink, and purple. As was now their custom, husband and wife prayed silently as they went.
“It is an unlikely plant to be capable of such beauty, is it not, Jocelyn?” finally remarked Charles as they ambled along.
Jocelyn smiled in acknowledgment. “Just like this face of mine,” she said, “which you always insist you see beauty in, however unlikely that is. I must admit I still have a difficult time believing you.”
“You are beautiful, Jocie, and I will keep telling you, until you believe it. Even then, I will not stop.”
“There are times when even a simple I love you from your lips sends me into a fresh round of doubts about myself. Even after so many years, I find it hard to believe someone could love me as you do.”
“I know,” replied Charles with a serious face. “Such is your path to walk. But you must walk it, Jocie. You must keep moving forward, reminding yourself that even these stem from the Father’s love for you, for the deepening of your character and your trust in him. You must keep telling yourself that you are his handiwork . . . and you have his fingerprint to prove it.”
She sighed. “I do know that, Charles. I even believe that the Lord gave me you to help me know what his love is like. It’s just so . . . well, it’s still so difficult to see this thing as a mark of God’s love. You say I am beautiful. But sometimes I wonder if I shall ever believe it . . . truly believe it in the depths of my heart. . . .”
“There is a mystery in all lovely things,” he mused. “Beauty has so many facets. The beauty in one human face, especially, may be more difficult to find than in another. There is a beauty that presents itself to the first glance. But there is a deeper radiance that takes time to see. This deeper beauty is all the more special in that it is reserved for the eyes of the truly discerning. Heather is just the same. Its beauty is perhaps not for all to see.”
It was quiet a moment or two.
“There is indeed a quality of mystery about heather,” added Charles, bending over to check on a plant, “altogether unlike the beauty of rose or the orchid or the tulip. Nor does it contain the fragrance of a hyacinth.”
“The plant itself is really quite ordinary,” said Jocelyn.
“Even ugly,” rejoined Charles. “In many parts of the world, at most times of the year, it is considered little more than a weed that grows where little else will survive—a wiry little annoyance even sheep and goats are reluctant to eat. And yet . . .”
Charles paused and gazed about him, gesturing with his arm.
“—and yet all together, the infinite variations of hue, when the colors mix and flow into one another like this—there is such an inexplicable and subtle beauty to it. I have grown to love it like few other growing things. I cannot imagine how I could have been so unseeing all those years.”
“We were unseeing of many things,” said Jocelyn with a sad smile. “Thankfully we are learning to appreciate them at last.”
“But I grew up here, Jocelyn! Overgrown as this place was, the heather must still have bloomed. Of course it bloomed. Remember what Timothy said—heather is so rugged it blooms whatever its surroundings. So it must have flowered here all year round, every day of my boyhood and youth, and after I was grown. But until the Lord began opening my eyes to his world and his work in it, I never saw its beauty.”
He paused a moment, gazing at the shrubbery around him.
“Have you noticed,” Charles went on, “how the heather even changes shades—or seems to—depending on the light, appearing different in a morning sun than at evening’s dusk?”
“I have noticed,” said Jocelyn.
“The yellow or blue of the primrose or the purple of the viola is the same yellow or blue or purple in every setting. But heather always seems to summon a slightly different hue to show its admirer.”
“Like the infinite expressions of the human face?” suggested Jocelyn with a small smile.
“It does make you think that God created each face and flower and placed a different message inside each one for us to discover as we gaze upon them . . . and ponder the One who made them.”
“I do love the way everything that bears God’s image is a little different than everything else.”
“Do you see why I am so fond of Timothy’s analogy of God’s fingerprint—because all fingerprints are different and personal? Everything God made is so wonderfully unique. And unlike the rose or the tulip,” Charles went on enthusiastically, “which are so regal they cannot help but be stunning, heather is beautiful only to those eyes to whom it reveals its subtle secrets.”
“A revealer of moods and subtleties?”
“Exactly—it speaks as much to the imagination as it does to the senses . . . like my beautiful wife!”
“Charles!”
“It’s true.”
He paused as a thoughtful expression came over his face.
“—yet for so long,” he added, “I was unable to see the heather’s nuances, though they were right in front of me. I was able somehow to recognize the principle when it came to human beings. But I was slower to awaken to the secrets of nature.”
“Perhaps because during those years your intellect predominated over your imagination,” commented Jocelyn. “You only beheld what your intellect saw.”
“You are a shrewd one—you have me all figured out!” laughed her husband. “We’ll have Professor Freud paying a visit to Heathersleigh before long to consult with you and garner your opinions!”
Jocelyn paused, stooped down, and plucked a blooming purple tip off one of the knee-high shrubs. She stood and held the flowery twig to her eyes for closer examination.
“Its intrigue must be why heather is legendary in Scotland and Germany and other places,” she said as they continued on. “Someone in your family back in ancient times must have understood its complexities and loved it. Otherwise why would they have named the estate Heathersleigh?”
“I’ve never heard how the place came by the name,” replied Charles thoughtfully.
“Heathersleigh—place of the heather?” mused Jocelyn. ....”
Several chapters later:
But back then—Charles, those were not the kind of events I was accustomed to. I was mortified when we arrived. I wanted to shrivel up and hide. Will you never understand what it’s like to feel self-conscious about everything? I didn’t want anyone to see me . . . especially with you.”
The festive sounds of music, celebration, and voices faded behind them as twenty-three-year-old Jocelyn Wildecott followed her escort out of the grand ballroom into the moonlit gardens adjacent to the seventeenth-century mansion where the gala event was being held.
She let out a quiet sigh of relief. It was good to be out of there! Too many people. Every one of them beautiful . . . perfect . . . with every hair in place. What was she doing here? How had she let Charles talk her into it!
The cool evening breeze felt good on her face.
Charles had insisted that she must be with him when he received his honor on this night. She had reluctantly agreed. And thus far, after she had recovered from her initial fear and anger, he had succeeded in putting her somewhat at ease. There had even been a few times, as they danced together, when she had almost forgotten her face, forgotten that they were in the midst of a crowd, and been swept up in the happiness of the moment.
They were only moments—brief respites in an evening of all-too-familiar anxiety—but they were real. Somehow, Charles was able to make her forget more than anyone ever had. Even then, it was hard to believe, even though he said her red scar meant nothing to him—that he cared about her because of the person inside.
The setting out here, away from the crowd, was one for leisurely strolling. Yet the instant they left the ballroom, Charles’ steps took on uncharacteristic vigor. He grew silent. After several long minutes, he spoke.
“Thank you for coming tonight, Jocelyn,” he said. “It would not have been the same without you.”
She did not reply. She had not quite put all her nervousness to rest. But as she quietly followed his meandering through the grounds, she could feel her hand on his arm gradually relax. The sounds from inside faded further behind them. A full moon and abundant garden lanterns lit the hedge-lined walkways under their feet.
“In fact,” Charles went on, “I never want to go anywhere without you again.”
“I enjoy being with you too, Charles,” replied Jocelyn, at last finding her voice.
“I’m not sure you know what I am saying.”
A look of question passed across Jocelyn’s face. She glanced up toward him, then quickly back down at the ground. Suddenly her cheeks were very hot. The feeling was not from the red of her birthmark.
“I had . . . there were two reasons I had for wanting you to come here this evening. . . .”
Charles paused briefly.
“I wanted to bring you, not only to accompany me to the ball . . . I also had something I wanted to ask you.”
“Of course, Charles, what is it?” said Jocelyn softly. Her cheeks burned.
“It’s just that—well, you see, I’m getting a new post. I’ve been assigned to Manchester.”
“Oh . . . oh, I see.”
“No—it’s not what you think. It’s not that I’m trying to soften my good-bye. What it is . . . well, I don’t want to say good-bye at all. I can’t go north alone, don’t you see? I can’t make such a change without knowing that you will be there with me.”
“I . . . I don’t . . .” Jocelyn faltered.
“Jocelyn, what I want to ask you . . . is . . . will you be my wife?”
The words fell like bricks crashing onto her head. She must have misheard! Did he say . . . wife? It could not be . . . he could not have said such a thing to her!
She stopped and looked up. Charles was gazing into her face, a smile on his lips. Jocelyn stared at him in disbelief, her eyes wide, mouth half open.
“Jocelyn Wildecott,” he said softly, “will you marry me?”
Still she stared. Her heart pounded.
“But . . . but, Charles . . . I couldn’t . . .”
Again words failed her.
“I mean it, Jocelyn. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Already she had begun quietly to weep. She turned away. She could not return his earnest gaze. It was too wonderful, yet too awful! She had never dared dream such a moment would come. But she could not marry someone like Charles . . . someone like Charles Rutherford!
An awkward silence followed.
“But . . . but, Charles . . . you can’t marry me,” she said at length.
“I’ve talked to your father. He’s given his blessing.”
“But you need someone who can stand proud beside you . . . you . . . you need someone who can be with you at social events . . . someone who . . . don’t you know how people—”
His finger on her lips silenced her objections.
“I need someone like you, Jocelyn,” he said.
“No . . . you need . . . oh, Charles—how can—”
Tears now began to flow in earnest.
“Don’t you know that I am proud to be seen with you, proud to have you stand beside me?” said Charles softly. “Jocelyn Wildecott, you are the most beautiful person in the world to me.”
“But—”
Gently Charles took her in his arms and drew her close.
“I want no one beside me,” he said into her ear, “but you. And I want you there forever.”
And then he was saying it again, his voice strong and tender in the balmy night. “I love you, Jocelyn.”
Later another memory:
The memory was only a feeling.
No event, no image, no specific picture came to Jocelyn’s mind. Only a dull ache in some deep corner of her heart where the little girl she had once been still lived.
She was walking . . . walking along an unknown path, alone. She could feel hot tears in her eyes. What had caused them, she didn’t know. Had something happened? Had she done something bad, naughty, disobedient? Had she accidentally broken something? In a way, that would have been easier. But she rarely remembered being naughty or bad. She was too afraid of what her mother might say to misbehave.
Except for unintentional actions, such as when she’d slipped on the carriage step, it was not what she did that aroused her mother’s biting disapproval. Rather it was simply who she was. That made it hurt all the more. Her mother simply didn’t like her. She had known that anguishing truth from earliest memory. Her mother disapproved of her very existence. There was nothing she could ever do to win the stern woman’s acceptance.
And now as she walked, the last words she had heard still echoed in her ears. They sounded out like a curse against her that would follow her the rest of her days:
“I only hope when you grow up, Jocelyn,” said the voice she knew only too well, “that you feel the pain of motherhood that I have known . . . and that your children cause you as much trouble as you’ve given me.”
Jocelyn shook the memory away.
She would not let discouragement from the past gain a foothold in the present. Her life was good now, she reminded herself. God loved her. Charles loved her. And he had helped her love herself.
She was God’s daughter. There was no moment when she did not exist within the tender care of his love. When he looked upon her in his heart, he smiled. She must focus on that truth and not allow herself to lose sight of it!
Biting her lip, she forced her thoughts to the present. Charles’ words still sounded in her ear: She is unaware of the foundation of that love.
“It is such a difficult line to walk,” he now went on. “You love your son or daughter and want them to be happy. So you want to give them what they want. At the same time, when you set out to live by certain principles, you run the risk that they will not understand, that they may resist or even turn away when you can’t give what they want.”
“I really think it is more difficult being a mother now—as a Christian, I mean—than it was before . . . before I was thinking about what sort of mother God wants me to be. Sometimes I get so discouraged when Amanda looks at me the way she does. It is so defeating. It is—”
She looked away and began to cry softly, her determination crumbling.
“—it’s like my mother is coming back to haunt me,” she added through her tears, “through my own daughter.”
Charles put his arm around her shoulder to comfort her.
“I think we need to ask,” he suggested gently, “whether children who get everything they want are truly happy. My nephew Geoffrey has been indulged from the cradle and is terribly spoiled, yet he seems to have a perpetual frown on his face and a whine in his voice. No, I think Timothy was right in the counsel he gave us. As hard as it is, we must keep our priorities firm and our authority in Amanda’s life clearly established . . . whether she is grateful for it at present or not. Amanda’s choices are going to be her own to make. We cannot assume the burden of guilt for what she brings upon herself. And, Jocelyn, you must not let yourself compare what we are doing with what your mother did. She was cruel and selfish. You love Amanda and are truly trying to do what is best for her. You must keep telling yourself that!”
She could only nod through her now-diminishing tears. He pulled her closer and held her tightly.
“Amanda will see deeper into the Lord’s purposes in time,” he murmured. “We have to believe that. If we learned to revere the hidden hues of the heather, surely the Lord will open her eyes one day to the spiritual hues around her. Maybe that is one of the reasons he gave us the heather—to remind us of that promise.”
Jocelyn nodded.
“Perhaps we should think of Heathersleigh not only as the place of heather,” she said with a sniffle, “but also as the place of the promise.”
“Learning to appreciate blooming flowers is one thing,” Charles said, “learning to apprehend the mysteries of God’s kingdom and view one’s parents in a more eternal light—those are more difficult truths to see.”
“In time she will see the heather for what it is, you and me for the people we are in the Lord, and the truth of God’s love for her. We are praying. The scales will fall from her inner eyes sooner than they did from ours. We must always remember the promise and the secret of the heather.”
several chapters later, another memory:
The young woman of fifteen lay on her bed, face down in her pillow, quietly crying herself to sleep. Poised between girlhood and womanhood, for the first time in her life, she had dared speak an objection to her mother.
“Why can’t I go?” she had asked, trying to put on the confidence of the woman.
“We have an image to maintain, Jocelyn,” replied Mrs. Wildecott. “Your father’s position demands certain sacrifices from us all. There are those here in India who would simply not understand if they saw you with him in public.”
She turned to go.
“How can you say such a thing, Mother?” said Jocelyn to her back, a hint of forceful annoyance in her voice. “Don’t you care more about me than people we barely know?”
It was hardly a rebellious rejoinder. Yet hearing it from Jocelyn’s usually timid mouth, her mother had spun around in shock. She stared at her daughter a moment in disbelief, then replied, “Jocelyn, you may not accompany your father. It is only my love for you that forces me to such a decision. I am trying to keep you from being hurt. I do not want to hear another word about it.”
Mrs. Wildecott turned and left the room. Jocelyn stared after her, desperately trying to pretend that her mother’s words hadn’t stung.
The little girl in her had now returned, pulling her back into her shell. Her mother had closed the door behind her, shutting Jocelyn into her refuge. This was the only place she felt safe from the stares, safe from the silent rebuke, safe from her mother’s censorious glances.
“She doesn’t care about me,” Jocelyn whimpered to herself through her tears. “She doesn’t care. She doesn’t know how much it hurts. She only cares about what other people think of us. That’s all she’s ever cared about, what people will think of my face. She doesn’t even love me.”
The realization could not have been a more bitter one. She had never uttered the words aloud before this day. But suddenly out they had popped from her mouth. Had she been able to retrieve them, she would have continued to cry in silence. But they had been spoken. The sound of her own voice reverberated in her ears . . . she doesn’t even love me . . . doesn’t love me.
And now at last came the tears, if not quite in a flood, at least in full measure. For young Jocelyn Wildecott had long before this learned to swallow the hurt of her childhood with dry eyes and aching heart.
Mercifully, as they often do, the tears brought sleep. And if it did not altogether knit up the raveled sleeve of her care, for the next hour she was at least granted the peace of being oblivious to them....
A few minutes ago I was remembering our wedding day. I suppose thinking about Amanda reminded me of it. Even though Mother wasn’t there, it was still the happiest day of my life.”
————
For years, the eyes of many in England had rested on the handsome son of Ashby Rutherford, Lord of the Manor of Heathersleigh, and his wife, the Lady Anne. Not a few in London’s social circles had dubbed him one of the finest potential catches available. And now young Charles Rutherford was about to marry the daughter of Colonel Wildecott, of distinguished service in India.
A few tongues wagged, it is true, over the fact—impossible to hide—that the young lady was . . . well, different of appearance than one would have expected to attract the notice of the heir to the Heathersleigh estate. To most, however, news of the announcement only confirmed what the young man’s parents both knew well enough, as did Colonel Wildecott and his daughter—that Charles Rutherford was a man of integrity and worth, with a heart that valued character over appearance. If ever there was doubt that he was his own man and an independent thinker, his choice of bride put all notions to the contrary to rest. Charles Rutherford was surely a young man who would go far.
There was a bit of gossip, moreover, concerning the news that the bride’s mother would not attend the wedding. She had chosen to remain in India, claiming that her health would not stand the long journey, and there were some who doubted her excuse. But the groom’s mother had smoothly stepped in to take Mrs. Wildecott’s role in preparing for the wedding, and Lady Anne Rutherford was widely respected. The murmurs regarding this slight change in protocol died down almost as quickly as they had begun.
Lady Rutherford had suggested one of the large London churches for the event. Her son, seeing little point in bowing to the customs of a traditional wedding, had argued in favor of the lawns and gardens of Heathersleigh. But Jocelyn Wildecott, swayed by a sentiment even she did not understand, had wanted to be married in a church. The perfect compromise had been reached by making plans to have the wedding ceremony itself at the parish church, with a gala party and reception to follow on the Heathersleigh grounds.
The scene at the small stone church at Milverscombe on the day of the wedding was such as had never been visited upon the humble edifice in the hundred years of its existence. Enough people were on hand easily to double the number that lived in the village and its environs—a lively mix of London society, for whom the event provided a welcome social break from summer’s monotony, with local landowners, villagers, and even farmers, who rarely had the opportunity to witness such an event.
Dignitaries, noblemen and ladies, and other distinguished visitors sat in the church, whose tall double doors, as well as every window capable of the function after years of disuse, remained wide open so that the spectators gathered shoulder to shoulder outside might catch a glimpse of the ceremony in progress.
The crowd overflowed not only the church but the very churchyard as well. The day was so festive and jubilant, however, that no one seemed overly concerned with how close they could get. Being on hand for the celebration was enough, whether or not they heard the actual vows.
By the time Jocelyn Wildecott took her place on her father’s arm, standing perhaps two hundred feet from the church door, they were surrounded by a press of beaming farmers and villagers and sheepherders and their wives, scrubbed as clean as soap and water could make their skin and clothes, and already proud of their soon-to-be new and future Lady Rutherford.
Never in her life had she felt so self-conscious. She glanced nervously around at what seemed to be ten thousand faces—all looking and smiling at her! And Charles at this moment, she thought, was safe inside the church and hidden from the view of these million eyes! If only he had let her wear the veil over her face. At least then she would have some protection from the thousands of eyes. But Charles would have nothing hidden, he insisted, especially the face of the woman he loved.
Little could Jocelyn imagine that it was the very scar on her face that made the villagers love her so. She might be a colonel’s daughter, the locals thought. She might be accustomed to privilege and standing. They might always use the Lady when addressing her.
Yet her red birthmark, somehow, made her one of them.
At first sight, she became real in their eyes, approachable, vulnerable, down-to-earth. In her obvious humanness, she was a personal link between themselves and the well-off folk of Heathersleigh. From the day of this wedding onward, as long as she and Charles reigned at the Hall, she would be their Lady Jocelyn—no unapproachable aristocrat, but, like them, a fellow human creature, imperfect yet made in the image of God.
As she stood waiting, Jocelyn did not know what this wedding, and she herself, symbolized for the good folk of Milverscombe. Nor was she aware what she would one day mean to the happy older couple who had wriggled their way close and now stood but an arm’s length away, and what they would mean to her. Maggie and Bobbie McFee were not merely beaming, but were also silently praying for the future of this young woman. Indeed she must be one in a million to have won the heart of their very own Master Charles himself!
Jocelyn stood erect, silent, jittery, happy, and waiting impatiently on the arm of her distinguished father. In grey tails and striped trousers, and sporting a huge mustache of the type generally associated with the wild regions east of Sudan, the imposing man would ordinarily have been his daughter’s match for the attention of the eyes of the crowd. But today she was a bride, and every neck outside the church was craned to catch a glimpse of her.
Lovingly and painstakingly stitched by a gathering of local seamstresses, Jocelyn’s dress reflected the Victorian spirit, and the ideals of its queen. Of the heaviest satin to be found, its collar rose high and encircled the neck. Tiny satin-covered buttons led from neck to waist in back, with a heavy satin bow tied at the small of the back. Each long slender sleeve ended with a delicate point of material, cut longer on one side to lie over the back of each hand. The skirt of the dress was plain, though the satin was luxurious in itself, without frills and lace. The filmy veil pinned to the back of Jocelyn’s hair with a satin headpiece stretched the full length of the long train, now held carefully out of the dust by a pair of young attendants.
“The music’s started!” shouted someone in the crowd.
From inside the church Jocelyn barely heard the faint strains now coming from the organ.
“Are you ready, my dear?” Colonel Wildecott whispered, turning and leaning toward his daughter.
“Yes, Daddy,” replied Jocelyn. “I only wish Mother were here.”
“You must forgive your mother, Jocelyn, dear,” replied the colonel in an uncharacteristic moment of openness. “She has not had an easy life traipsing about the world with me. Down inside she is a good woman. One day she will come to her senses and will grow to love you as much as I do.”
Jocelyn’s eyes filled with tears at his unaccustomed tenderness. “Thank you, Daddy. I love you too. I am so glad that you are here with me.”
“There is nowhere else I would be, my dear. All the tigers in India could not keep me from sharing this moment with you. Shall we be off on your new adventure?”
Jocelyn smiled up at him. The colonel stood erect once more and turned to face the church.
They now began the long, slow processional toward the open doors through the long narrow aisle of bodies. Never in Jocelyn’s life had so short a distance seemed so interminably long! Every face they passed wore a triumphant and happy smile, as if she had grown up in the village and was personally a favorite with its every man, woman, and child. In truth, she knew not a soul among them. In time, however, she would be on personal terms with every one—and they would love her even more than they did on this day.
Inside at last, they walked keeping slow time to the processional. Flowers were everywhere, filling every corner with their delicious fragrance.
There sat Charles’ cousin Gifford with his new wife of just eight months. A wave of new doubts swept through Jocelyn at the sight of the young woman’s thin and graceful form. Already Martha Rutherford was part of London’s high society and loving every minute of it. What am I doing marrying into this family? Jocelyn thought. I’ll never be Cousin Martha’s match socially. I’ll embarrass Charles. He’ll be sorry he married me. . . .
In the front row sat Lord Ashby and his wife, her future parents-in-law, old-fashioned yet progressive aristocrats. Already they had been so kind to her. Lady Anne caught her eye and gave her an encouraging smile. Jocelyn found herself just barely able to return it.
And then there was Charles . . . standing at the front of the church awaiting her, with his handsome, confident, and altogether disarming smile!
The music stopped.
She had arrived! This was the moment. She was about to be married!
The vicar of the local parish proceeded to perform the traditional Anglican marriage service. The words, the vows, the exchange of rings . . . it was all lost in a swirl of dreamy happiness.
Then came the words, “You may kiss the bride.”
The tender moment of silence was followed by oohs inside. Outside, shouts and cheers erupted when news of the regal kiss was communicated via a local sheepherder named Mudgley, whose vantage point near one of the windows afforded him just the necessary view to corroborate the precise moment of contact....
later...
They walked inside the church where they had been married, where they now attended services every Sunday, knelt in prayer as they readied themselves for worship, then sat down.
The service began. The familiar and lovely opening sentences descended comfortingly on Jocelyn’s ears. In recent years they had taken on the gleam of deepened meaning and relevance. And then, as the service progressed, the congregation rose to sing from the psalms.
“O give thanks unto the Lord,
call upon his name . . .
O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good;
for his mercy endureth forever . . .”
“O give thanks unto the Lord;
for he is good . . .
O give thanks unto the Lord;
for he is good . . .”
Jocelyn recalled the day of the wedding when she walked down this aisle on the arm of her father, flowers filling every nook and cranny with heavenly fragrance. So much had happened since that day. There had been disappointments. But today she was thinking how much she had grown. As she now sang, Jocelyn’s heart soared. She was no longer the self-conscious Jocelyn Wildecott as she had been that day, but Jocelyn Rutherford, child of God.
“O give thanks unto the God of gods . . .
O give thanks to the Lord of lords . . .”
“O give thanks unto the God of heaven;
for his mercy endureth forever!”
“A lesson from the fifth chapter of Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians,” the vicar now announced as the congregation took their seats. He began to read. “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
The next words were lost on her as Jocelyn’s mind repeated the words she had been singing and had just heard—in everything give thanks . . . give thanks unto the Lord . . . give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good . . . in everything give thanks . . . in everything give thanks . . .
The service progressed.
Jocelyn’s mind filled with memories as she sat and absorbed the morning’s service . . . her years with Charles . . . the memorable discussions with Timothy. And throughout, the Scriptures about thanks continued to echo in her ears.
She realized that her entire life had been a struggle over this one simple yet momentous truth—giving thanks. In it was bound up her past, her identity, her struggle to come to terms with who she was. Now that struggle had taken on new dimensions. She must carry it beyond herself and try to summon thankfulness even for Amanda’s present plight. That was just as difficult as being thankful for her birthmark. More difficult, perhaps.
Yet if she could not move past this roadblock, which for so long had prevented her from intimacy with God, how could she expect Amanda to be thankful for circumstances that were not to her liking?
Fragmentary words from the vicar’s homily intruded into the edges of Jocelyn’s consciousness.
“ . . . the same profound truth with which Paul opens his epistle to the Romans,” the priest was saying, “instructing his hearers that the first step on the road toward spiritual darkness is failing to give God thanks as Creator. In not giving thanks, the apostle says, did their foolish minds become darkened . . .”
Jocelyn had told George and Catharine that they might perhaps be doors for Amanda. Now it dawned on her with brilliant clarity—that the principle could be applied to her as well. Perhaps in her own way she was being given opportunity to gain victory over the very thing with which Amanda was struggling. Perhaps, in the mystery of the spirit realm, it was necessary for her first to learn the truth of gratitude and apply it in her own life, before the way would open for Amanda to pass through the same spiritual doorway—out of rebellion and into gratefulness.
“ . . . the injunction toward a grateful heart is found on every page of the New Testament . . . in Colossians, in Hebrews . . . in nearly all the psalms . . .”
What makes the thought of gratefulness such an internal battle? thought Jocelyn. Why is it so difficult to give thanks?
Then it occurred to her that the whole issue could be reduced again to the two questions that were at the root of every question in life: Who is God? What is he like?
Was he truly a good God whom anyone might trust in any circumstance, no matter how sad or bleak or hurtful . . . no matter what one’s daughter said or did . . . no matter what one’s face looked like . . . no matter what blemishes of body or personality or temperament one was born with?
If so, if God truly was good . . . then truly could one give him thanks in all things!
Deeper caverns in Jocelyn’s heart continued to open to the sunshine.
Again into her mind came the words of the Scripture from earlier—In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus . . . in everything . . . in everything!
Quietly she began to weep. She couldn’t stop. Tears began streaming down her face. But she was now unconscious of the red scar on her cheek. She only knew in a deeper place of her being than ever before that God loved her . . . loved her!
“ . . . how do we enter the Lord’s gates?” now came the vicar’s words in conclusion. “With thanksgiving. It is the resounding message of God’s Word—give thanks, give thanks, give thanks! Give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good!”
The homily drew to a close. The service continued. Jocelyn stood and knelt and sang and followed along with the familiar service almost without being aware of where she was, those final words of the homily continuing to ring in her ears.
After the benediction and the recessional, the congregation knelt in prayer, then filed out of the church.
Jocelyn was uncharacteristically quiet as the Rutherford family walked back toward the carriage. ...
“Charles,” said Jocelyn, “I think . . . I think I need some time alone.”
“What can I—”
“I think I will walk home, if you don’t mind.”
She turned and now walked away from the church toward a lonely side street. She made her way through the village, then through the woods and fields back in the direction of Heathersleigh Hall.
A lifetime of doubts and confusions and uncertainties now rose to a climax within the heart of Jocelyn Rutherford. She had been walking with God for years, learning gradually to give him her pain and her fears. Now at last came the final relinquishment. As her daughter had been wrenched away, now too final lingering doubts about the God to whom she had given her life were about to be cast from her. She had finally opened the bottommost doors of her being and allowed him to burn away her final hesitations.
At last, more than a decade after coming to the Lord, she was ready to give him her all.
Halfway home, in a small clearing of meadow grass, unseen by another soul, suddenly Jocelyn was overcome with God’s presence.
The next instant she was on her knees, face bowed to the ground, weeping freely.
“Oh, God . . . my Father—I know I’ve been slow to learn what you’ve wanted me to see about you,” she prayed. “Forgive me! I’m sorry for being so stubborn to hang on to my doubts about your goodness. At last I am certain that you are good! Timothy and Charles have said it over and over, but there was part of me that just couldn’t believe. But now I do. I believe you are good. I’m so sorry for taking too long to see it. I love you, Lord . . . I want to be your daughter—not just with part of my heart, but with my whole heart, my whole being. At last I am ready to say it . . . and to mean it from the depths of my heart . . . thank you!”
As the words came from her lips, a great cry erupted from her depths. The release sent heaving sobs through her frame. She remained on her knees, sobbing with the anguished joy of liberation.
For several minutes she wept.
Gradually her spirit calmed. The catharsis was nearly complete, the butterfly of her personhood was at last ready to take wing.
“Thank you . . . thank you, Lord!” she said, more quietly now, though the tears continued to flow. “At last it feels good to say the words. Thank you that you have put gratefulness in my heart. I feel so new, so different, even more than when I gave my heart to you for the first time. I truly feel thankfulness inside! I am thankful for that! It feels so good and clean to have a grateful heart.”
Now, it seemed, the “thank-yous” were bubbling up from a deep place inside of her. “Thank you for how you made me, thank you for my face . . . thank you, God, for placing the fingerprint of your love on me for all to see. What a privilege you have bestowed on me! I carry your fingerprint for the whole world to see! At last I truly mean it—I am thankful, dear Father, for I see it has been for my good, and has drawn my heart closer to you, and it has brought me to this moment.”
She paused and sighed deeply.
“And, I thank you for Amanda,” she added. “I am not quite ready to say that I am thankful for the hurt she has caused or for what she is presently doing. But I am willing and eager for you to make me truly thankful. Until then, I will thank you, and I will keep thanking you . . . for I know now, beyond any doubt, that you are good. Thank you . . .”
For several more minutes Jocelyn remained where she was, then slowly she rose. She breathed in deeply several times, then slowly continued on her way. She knew the change that had just come was one from which she would never look back....
...Back at Heathersleigh Hall,...
“I finally know it,” she said. “All the way to the deepest part of myself, I know what you have been telling me.”
“What is that?” he asked, taking her hand.
“That God is good,” Jocelyn replied with a smile. “I finally was able to tell him . . . and say thank you . . . and mean it without holding even the tiniest corner of myself back.”
They walked some distance before either spoke again.
“You’ve thanked God before,” said Charles at length.
“Yes,” replied Jocelyn. “But always for specifics, for some certain thing that has happened. This time was different. This time thankfulness welled up inside of me . . . for everything—for all God is, for his goodness, for how he made me, for our life, for my life, for salvation, for my birthmark . . . even for Amanda. It was the first time I’ve ever been able to be completely thankful to him.”
“I can see the difference in your eyes, all over your face,” said Charles. By now he was beaming.
“Why does it take some painful circumstance to show us that God truly is good in all things?” sighed Jocelyn as they walked across the grass toward the Hall. “But if Amanda’s leaving was what it took for God to finally get that truth into me, then I truly can be thankful for it. And that makes me know all the more that Amanda truly is in his hands.”
“How so?”
“If God has been with me all this time,” smiled Jocelyn, “and if he loved me enough not to stop trying to get his goodness through to me, surely he will do the same for our Amanda.”
Still holding her husband’s hand, she turned to gaze up at the powerful grey walls of Heathersleigh Hall, then sank into his offered embrace.
“I just know it, Charles,” she murmured. “The Lord is good. And he will never rest until Amanda’s eyes are opened to his goodness . . . just as mine have finally been.”
Victory does not always lie in the happy conclusion to every chapter of life. Eternal endings are more significant than temporal ones.
Happiness comes from a heart of gratitude and thankfulness. Victory lies in the recognition that God is good.
Phillips, M. (2015). Wild grows the heather in devon (the secrets of heathersleigh hall book #1).
|
|
fearnot
Living With Pain
Posts: 8,441 
Member is Online
|
Post by fearnot on Mar 1, 2017 17:03:43 GMT -5
I have read this book and I know at the time was deeply moved, but re-reading all the portions you posted, reached a lot more and deeper meaning this time.
Thank you and I think I remember Amanda does come back too.
There were soooo many sentences that were so powerful....but I was only able to copy the first one ( maybe will go back later and snag a few more
But one of the first, was this concerning the prodigal daughter and it reminded me of my children:
"You must wait,
but
He will woo."
Thank you sooooooooooooo much for going back to the book and getting all these great selections!!!
So many are perfectly applicable to me....looks, wayward children, faith....
and the symbolism of heather ( I like the blue-purple heather than the more red ...but there you go....)
The interesting thing is how it changes in light, unlike the hues and colors of some other beautiful flowers like the rose)
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Mar 3, 2017 11:30:56 GMT -5
I'm glad you read it. When I did, I was able to relate to how she felt about herself because of her birthmark. When I was a child and teenager I had really horrible pimples. You couldn't put a hair in between them. They were all over my face, neck and back so I felt like a monster. It wasn't until the doctors put me on an antibiotic that they finally got under control. So I knew just how she felt and I figured with the way you focus on yourself that you probably did to. This really helped me realize even more how even that was the fingerprint of God on me, and hoped you would be able to see that in your life as well.
|
|
fearnot
Living With Pain
Posts: 8,441
Member is Online
|
Post by fearnot on Mar 3, 2017 23:09:18 GMT -5
Exactly.....I always felt unpretty ( and of course kids told me I was)
not to mention things like 4 eyes ( glasses), a bump on my nose, super skinny and so on ( if I were a kid now I'd prob be envied for my thinness back then)
but a more rounded figure was the ideal then and that I was not.
But yes, I could understand also and so the way it was dealt with was so helpful!
Thank you again for all those great excerpts!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Mar 6, 2017 12:54:34 GMT -5
Glad it can help you. It's one of the things I spent some time reflecting on with the Lord. It's pretty amazing what He can show us about ourselves and about Him when we do that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Mar 6, 2017 14:05:33 GMT -5
I'm afraid I don't have time to do this today but will try to get to it tomorrow ok?
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Mar 7, 2017 10:43:35 GMT -5
First, when we wake up in pain, it's impossible not to recognize that pain and do something about it, or at least try to. There's nothing wrong with admitting we're in pain. In fact, it would be wrong to lie and say we're not, or even to just ignore it. It's there. it's real, and it hurts. When I wake up, especially before I started sleeping sitting up, I would be in so much pain that I had to train myself not to scream and cry, as well as not to fall. I set up a walker in front of my bed so I could grab that in order to be able to stand up. My first thoughts were always to get to my meds and swallow them! I knew though that I would have to wait an hour before they even began to work, and that it wouldn't be enough so that I'd have to take a second dose an hour later and then wait yet another hour for the combined dose to finally ease that pain to where I could bear it. That meant that I'd be in unbearable pain for two hours (at least) from the time I woke up. I'm sure that you've learned all the tricks of dealing with pain, just as I did. The number one thing we have to do when waiting for meds to kick in is to distract ourselves. I distracted myself with God and His Word. What better way could there possibly be? When I couldn't read, I talked to Him. Sometimes i could only read one sentence, or only enough to remember the basics of whatever I was supposed to be reading, and then I'd talk to Him about it.
But almost always, even before I got my computer turned on, I'd be talking to Him about the pain. I didn't whine, but I was honest. I told Him it hurt and when it got beyond my ability to endure, I'd ask Him to relieve it, knowing He would. I'd ask Him to help me concentrate on His Word, and He would do that too. I've heard many people who live with pain say they couldn't possibly study God's Word when they were in pain, but that's because they haven't tried; or else they haven't tried to do it with His help. The biggest thing God wants us to do is to study His Word, so He will give us anything we need to enable us to do so, including helping us concentrate, understand it, relieve pain, etc. Whatever we need, He will give us so we can study His Word. I feel sorry for those people because they don't know what they're missing. They'll continue thinking it's God's fault they can't study His Word since He allows their pain, and I'm afraid they're in for a huge surprise when they finally stand before Him.
Anyway, the point is, when you wake up in pain, tell Him you're in pain. It's not like He doesn't already know. Taking thoughts captive is not the same as what the world considers "positive thinking" and "creating your own reality". Those are lies. Tell the Lover of your soul that you hurt; tell Him you're tired of being sick and tired. No, I'm not kidding. Ask Him to show you what you can do to relieve the pain that you're not already doing. Ask Him to help you in the mornings when you wake up. Tell Him that you don't ever want to feel "depressed" again and you don't want to allow the physical pain you're in to cause you to be depressed. Tell Him you know that it's beyond your ability right now to overcome those feelings, but that you know that with Him everything is possible. Ask Him to relieve your pain. I tend to wait till the pain gets so bad that I just can't stand it another minute, before I ask Him to relieve it, but you don't have to wait till then. Make it a habit of telling Him how you feel when you wake up, like you're reporting in to your commanding officer for your daily orders, and the first order of the day is to report how you're feeling so He can adjust it for you. I'm not saying we should whine, but we should be honest. We see lots of that in the psalms. David was very honest about how he felt and we can be too. We can even use his words....
“Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.” (Psalm 6:2–4)
“My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.” (Psalm 38:7–9)
“I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.” (Psalm 69:29)
“How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” (Psalm 13:2–6)
“You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,” (Psalm 10:17)
“Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten your law.” (Psalm 119:153)
From Psalm 31:
“I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.” (Psalm 31:7)
“My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.” (Psalm 31:10)
“But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.”” (Psalm 31:14)
“Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.” (Psalm 31:16)
From the NET bible:
“I am numb with pain and severely battered; I groan loudly because of the anxiety I feel.” (Psalm 38:8)
“For I am about to stumble, and I am in constant pain.” (Psalm 38:17)
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Mar 7, 2017 11:57:27 GMT -5
How about if I just show you what I did with Phil 4:8?
First I looked up all the different translations of that verse to see how they were worded. (well, not "all" but quite a few!) Many were the same, but there were some differences so I wrote down the differences. After I wrote down the different words used in the various translations, I then looked up the synonyms for those words. This is what it looked like when I was done:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)
The first one, "whatever's true" was the only one that was exactly the same in all of the translations.
whatever's true, synonyms faithful, allegiant, ardent, constant, liege, loyal, resolute, staunch, steadfast. related words sincere, unfeigned, whole-hearted, whole-souled. I thought "whole souled" was an interesting word as it reminds me of the opposite which God hates which is the double minded person which is also called having two minds or two souled, or double tongued, all of which is the same as having a hard heart. True things: We can only find what is true in God and God’s Word.
whatever's noble, honorable, honest, worthy of respect, noble, modest, synonyms grand, august, baronial, grandiose, imposing, magnific, magnificent, majestic, princely, stately. related words eminent, illustrious. To me the word makes me think of nobility, or the "upper class". Since my Mom tried to raise me to be a lady, part of the upper class, this would make me think that I should only have those things in my mind that a lady would think about. Noble things: We're to think about whatever is worthy of awe & adoration—the sacred as opposed to the profane. God is sacred as is His Word.
whatever's right, just, fair, reputable, synonyms well-founded, cogent, good, justified, well-grounded. true , faithful, right, strict, undistorted, related words fit, fitting, meet, proper. Right thinking is always consistent with God’s absolute holiness and truth. Wrong thinking is what we had before we were saved and we're changed so that we could have and develop the mind of Christ.
whatever's pure, holy, authentic, synonyms absolute, perfect, blameless, exemplary, guiltless, inculpable, innocent, irreproachable, righteous, unblamable, virtuous. related words authentic, genuine; classic; blessed, Pure things make me think of something morally clean & undefiled - holy, sanctified.
whatever's lovely, pleasing, acceptable, compelling, synonyms beautiful, attractive, beauteous, bonny, comely, fair, good-looking, handsome, pretty, pulchritudinous. related words delightful; delicate, exquisite, rare; graceful. Lovely things make me think of things that are beautiful, like God's creation, whether it's the woods, the sea, a garden, the birds, squirrels, cats, or whatever.
whatever's admirable, commendable, of good report, of good repute, commendable, of good fame, gracious, synonyms worthy, commendable, deserving, estimable, laudable, meritable, meritorious, praisable, praiseworthy, thankworthy. Admirable things are things that I'd admire or want to be like. To me the most admirable of all would be Jesus and then Paul and the disciples, then other people I've met that live their faith, etc. Or it could simply be qualities or characteristics that those people possess that I want to train myself to have as well. Come to think of it, some would be the fruit of the spirit in Gal 5:22-23!
if anything is excellent, any excellence, any virtue, if something's excellent, if there's any excellence of character, the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; any moral excellence, synonyms fine, first-class, first-rate, par excellence, prime, quality, sovereign, stunning, superior, marvelous, supreme related words high-class, distinguished, exceptional, premium; superlative, terrific, unsurpassed, wonderful; This seems to be speaking of moral excellence, so again I would look at the fruit of the spirit or perhaps the way love is described in 1 Cor 13:4-8. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7)
or praiseworthy, if anything worthy of praise, anything praiseworthy, if any praise of discipline, whatever deserves praise, things to praise, not things to curse. synonyms worthy, admirable, commendable, deserving, estimable, laudable, meritable, meritorious, praisable, thankworthy. To me this is another way to say, "count your blessings!'
think about such things. think about these things. meditate on these things. dwell on these things. fill your minds with and meditate on these things.
Meditate: to focus one’s thoughts on: reflect on or ponder over. synonyms PONDER, deliberate, mull (over), muse, revolve, roll, ruminate, turn over, contemplate, excogitate, mind, perpend, study, think (out or over), weigh, related words cogitate, reason, reflect, speculate, think; brood, debate, dwell
dwell on: abide, bide, dig, hang out, live
think: synonyms conceive, envisage, envision, fancy, feature, image, imagine, project, realize, see, vision, visualize, UNDERSTAND, assume, believe, expect, gather, imagine, reckon, suppose, suspect, CONJECTURE, guess, presume, pretend, suppose, surmise, consider, deliberate, reason, reflect, related words consider, contemplate, study, weigh; appreciate, comprehend, understand; cerebrate, ideate; conjecture, guess, surmise, meditate, mull, muse, ponder, ruminate; intellectualize, logicalize, logicize, rationalize; conclude, deduce, infer, judge
All these also remind me of the fruit of the spirit in Gal 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22–23)
This is how they break down from many different translations:
love, charity,
joy,
peace,
patience, longsuffering, longanimity
kindness, gentleness, benignity
goodness, generosity, Mildness
faithfulness, faith, fidelity, modesty, chastity.
gentleness, meekness, Mildness,
self-control; temperance, self-control; continency
“To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.” (Titus 1:15)
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; But his heart is not with thee.” (Proverbs 23:7)
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” (James 3:17)
“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.” (2 Peter 1:5–7)
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Now, we think on these things.....
|
|
fearnot
Living With Pain
Posts: 8,441
Member is Online
|
Post by fearnot on Mar 8, 2017 2:37:58 GMT -5
Awwww thank you so much for going thru that!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Mar 8, 2017 11:33:52 GMT -5
you're welcome. It certainly gives us a lot to think about. I'm sorry I'm not up to writing more today, but the fatigue has got me in it's grips again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cindy on Apr 20, 2017 9:43:08 GMT -5
I want to add some things for our other thread here for you so we don't forget about it. Those commentaries were wonderful....thank you!!!!
I can almost always tell, at the start which one, is Spurgeon's :-) he has such a unique way of writting
and also
the same for Chambers, his way is super unique also.
I may keep this kind of short, been watching the wind speeds up to 84 gusts so far......
4/7/17
Psalm 38
David has been corrected and disciplined by God for his sin and it has grieved him.
As a father God will discipline His children and it is hard for us, but it is much better than God not caring and leaving us alone....we also know it is for our own good....
but like David, my first thought is about how it hurts....'me' and then, how I have hurt others and worse, God.
And this Psalm shows the terrible results of sin to us, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
David is confessing his sins, and tho suffering greatly, he knows the cure is to
v. 15 "Lord, I wait for you;
you will answer, Lord my God.
v. 21 & 22
"Lord, do not forsake me;
do not be far from me, my God.
22 Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my Savior."
This is my application also...to wait on the Lord.
“Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin.” (Psalm 38:3)
God doesn't willingly bring affliction or grief to us. Lam 3:31–33 He doesn't delight in causing us to experience pain or heartache. He always has a purpose for the grief He brings or allows to come into our lives. Most often we don't know what that purpose is, but it's enough to know that His infinite wisdom & perfect love have determined that the particular sorrow is best for us. God never wastes pain. He always uses it to accomplish His purpose & His purpose is for His glory & our good. Therefore, we can trust Him when our hearts are aching or our bodies are racked with pain.
Trusting God in the midst of our pain & heartache means that we accept it from Him. There is a vast difference between acceptance & resignation or submission. To truly accept our pain & heartache has the connotation of willingness. An attitude of acceptance says that we trust God, that He loves us & knows what is best for us. Acceptance does not mean that we do not pray for physical healing. We should realize that, though God can do all things, for infinitely wise & loving reasons, He may not do that which we pray that He will do. How do we know how long to pray? As long as we can pray trustingly, with an attitude of acceptance of His will, we should pray as long as the desire remains. Trusting God
I want to share some notes on this that are really for someone who is a biblical counselor. I'm sharing them because that's what you are becoming and because I think they'll help you understand other people even better, so you'll be able to better help them.
“My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.” (Psalm 38:4)
In Psalm 51 David wrote about his sin against Uriah and Bathsheba. The Psalm is the record of his repentance after Nathan accused him of adultery and murder. In verse 3 he described the anxiety state caused by his guilty conscience prior to repentance. He wrote: “My sin is ever before me.” Counseling experience underscores the biblical idea that most people know why they're in trouble, even when at 1st they deny it. Whenever counselors operate on the assumption that this is so, they find most people drop their defenses & tell it like it is. Counselors who presuppose that clients don't know the problems in their lives tend to ignore or reinterpret genuine expressions of guilt & thereby discourage & confuse clients about the causes of their difficulties. It's a serious question whether a Christian whose conscience judges him according to the explicit standards of Scripture can ever become seriously depressed over the guilt of sin committed without that sin being “ever before him.” Cf. also Job 6:30. Some people who otherwise might be aware of their sin, because they have been taught that sin has no relationship to depression, need to be shown that feelings flow from actions. Of course there are persons “past feeling” whose conscience has been “seared with a branding iron.” To the best of my knowledge, the Bible does not seem to speak about the so-called sociopath (psychopath), who is supposed to have little or no conscience. The matter needs further study. Prov 28:1 vividly pictures the effects of a haunting guilty conscience: “The wicked flee when no one pursues: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” A guilty conscience leads to fear, and a good conscience leads to boldness. The wicked flee in many ways. Henry was burdened with a guilty conscience. Walking down the street one day, he saw Ron coming his way. Henry knew he had wronged Ron in a business deal. Seeing Ron, Henry was suddenly afraid & felt as if he had to avoid him at all costs. He turned a corner as quickly as he could & escaped. He felt as if he would do almost anything to avoid meeting Ron. Because Henry had wronged him, Ron had become a stressor to Henry. Unforgiven sinners are vulnerable people. They often become intensely self conscious. Even innocent words frequently are interpreted as personal attacks. They interpret as personal affronts acts that have no direct relationship to them. A guilty person may claim that a sermon was a personal attack, or lacking the courage to do so, will object to some incidental feature of the sermon. or some supposed slight of the minister. To call such a person paranoid is to minsinterpret the dynamics of his problem. On the other hand, a man at peace with God & with other men is invulnerable & can be bold as a lion. Competent to counsel:
Knowing this can help us when we meet and befriend someone like this, because ultimately, we'll see all those things in them and they will usually also attack us as well and insist that we're out to hurt them. When we realize what's really behind their words, it makes it easier for us to forgive them and helps us to be gentle with them until they are finally ready to confess their sins and repent of them.
“For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me. I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.” (Psalm 38:17–18)
David came to the end of his rope; he was in despair. He felt he could endure the pain no longer. He was about to give up. At that point, he recalled the cause of these sufferings, (his sin)and resolved to adopt the only solution to the problem: I am ready to fall, and my pain is always before me. I will declare my iniquity. I will be sorry for my sin (verses 17, 18). These passages in Psalms 51 and 38 are parallel to Psalm 32. All three Psalms speak of the same kind of anxiety, the same sort of depression, the same type of physical distress, and the same class of emotional visceral responses. All three describe the anxiety of a man who is guilty over his sin and who is crushed by that anxiety. To summarize then, David’s first contention was: hiding sin causes distress both of soul and of body (Psalm 32:3, 4). The second fact to be noted in the 32nd Psalm is that confession of sin brings relief and happiness. David expressed this in verses 5 through 7. Competent to counsel:
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:1–5)
“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.Selah Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”— and you forgave the guilt of my sin.Selah” (Psalm 32:1–5)
4/8/17
Psalm 39
I know Jesus did not speak much during His trumped up trials before the wicked.
V.1 kind of reminded me of that.
I was saying in a recent Psalm how sometimes it is easy to want to someone back who has been snarky with a snide comment back, but scripture pretty much demands we not do that:
v. 1 "I said, “I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
while in the presence of the wicked.”
V. 4 & 5 speaks of how short our lives are:
".....let me know how fleeting my life is
v.5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you."
I sure can relate to that....now I am old!!
But v. 7 is my application and hope:
v.7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you."
And v. 12 is my plea as well:
"“Hear my prayer, Lord,
listen to my cry for help;
do not be deaf to my weeping...."
““But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7)
David took all the weights that were pulling him down and brought them straight to God. When his life was in a big mess, he reaffirmed and declared his confidence in God. That kind of hope doesn’t come from feelings. It comes from knowing the one who is greater than our broken lives and dreams. He is the one who knows how to hold the universe in order and work all things in our lives for ultimate good. Jesus knows how to turn our messes into His masterpieces. As long as we have breath, we have hope in God. Thriving: Trusting god for life to the fullest.
His question is answered by the hope and expectation of the child of God, which is not disappointed. He recognized that God had permitted his trouble in order to discipline him. He felt almost destroyed by the discipline of God. God disciplines us “that we may be partakers of His holiness” (Heb. 12:10). The heavenly Father loves us too much to allow us to blindly follow the ways of sin. Yet His correction often seems too much for the fragility of life (see 90:9). The Open Bible
To reassure you, (and me too!) keep in mind that David's sin was the sin of adultery and murder (Bathsheba and her husband). God didn't discipline him for something he wasn't aware of at the time. He knew exactly why he was being disciplined and remember, when we read the story of what he did, he did not confess his sin or repent of it for quite a long time. Not until God's prophet confronted him with it.
4/9/17
Psalm 40
This psalm explains what God did for me as well,
He took me out of the mud and mire of sin ( not that I don't fall back in and still sin, but He heard my prayer and Jesus's righteousness covers me)
I believe the firm rock I was set on is Jesus.
and it talks of "a hymn of praise"
Since I have been looking for joy and also praise,
this answer to prayer and salvation thru Jesus is a good praise for me to give the Lord.
In fact, speaking of praise, v. 5 says that
"were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare."
v. 6 and 7 makes it clear that any 'works' that I or anyone tries to do to be saved is not effective for salvation that God really did not desire Sacrifice and offerings, "burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require....."
Those only were to point to Jesus.
I still struggle sometimes thinking God cannot love me because of my sins, and I have to take those thoughts captive. I know they are a weird kind of pride, thinking God can save others because they were not as sinful ( nor still when they sin do not do as badly as I)......
which is saying God is not strong enough to keep me saved or worse, Jesus death on the cross was not enough.....
I know that I have to trust that God is most assuredly strong enough and loving enough and more importantly, what Jesus suffered to save me, was absolutely enough.
So trying to beat myself up is not what God wants,
yes I need to struggle against sin and repent but even when I do, I can trust I am still saved.
As v. 8 says:
"I desire to do your will, my God;
your law is within my heart.”
So do I desire.
I am guilty of v. 10 tho
" do not hide your righteousness in my heart;"
Not all the time, but having been slammed in the past with keep you religion to your self....
I sometimes, try to just let my life ( and with what little love I have....little in comparison to God's love for others.....) be a declaring of God's love and righteousness of what He has done for me.
But many times I do feel like v. 12
v. 12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me."
Yet v. 16 & 17
Are my application in those times:
16" But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The Lord is great!”
17 But as for me, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay."
I need to re JOY and praise God saying He is GREAT...
He is my help and He will deliverer me out of my latest sin(s).
You said:
I still struggle sometimes thinking God cannot love me because of my sins, and I have to take those thoughts captive. I know they are a weird kind of pride, thinking God can save others because they were not as sinful ( nor still when they sin do not do as badly as I)......
which is saying God is not strong enough to keep me saved or worse, Jesus death on the cross was not enough.....
I know that I have to trust that God is most assuredly strong enough and loving enough and more importantly, what Jesus suffered to save me, was absolutely enough.
So trying to beat myself up is not what God wants,
yes I need to struggle against sin and repent but even when I do, I can trust I am still saved.
Yes, we've talked about this before and it's something many others feel as well. Yes, it is a sin of pride like you said because you are really saying that you're stronger than God because you can sin so much that even the blood of the one and only perfect and holy God, given willingly for you, cannot save you because you're so bad. And like you said, it's also saying that He's not strong enough to keep His promise to keep you saved and make you holy like Jesus. Thinking that you have sinned more than anyone else on this earth, is also the sin of pride, for much the same reasons. But what is that really saying about yourself? That you must be more purely evil than Satan for the precious blood of Jesus to be unable t6o save you. Or more evil than Hitler, or Stalin, or any other human being you can name. It's also saying that you don't believe God's Word is really true, since you don't believe that he can save you. (I know you don't really believe these things, I'm only showing this so you can realize what truths you need to fight it with) It means that when you read the scriptures that say we were all God's enemies before we were saved, that you think you are more His enemy than anyone else could ever be or ever has been, including Hitler etc. and are therefore better than anyone else at how great you are at sinning. The problem with seeing yourself in this way is that it's not true anymore. (even if it was before you were saved, which really isn't true either, but we'll call it true then for sake of argument) It's not true any longer because at the moment you were saved, God took the Lord's perfect life and put it on your account and took your perfectly horrible life and put that on Jesus's account.
Think of it as though God has this huge ledger with everyone's name in it, and by each name He has written down how good or bad they've been. We'll even pretend that He uses a numbering system and that someone like Satan would get the number -10 (negative ten) for being perfectly evil and Jesus would get a 10 for being perfectly good and holy. So let's say that next to your name, you also got a -10 since according to you, you're as bad as Satan. At the moment you were saved though, the Lord took your negative ten and put it by our Lord's Name and took His positive 10 and put it by your name. He could do that because Jesus paid for your negative 10 life on the cross where all your sins were put on Him. He did that willingly for you, only because He loved you so much. Now, for the rest of your life here, God will see you and deal with you as though you really had and are living a life of a positive 10, and then, when your body dies, He will give you a new one and you will lose your sin nature and will quite literally, suddenly actually be a positive 10, because He will have transformed you to be just like His Son.
Is it difficult for you to accept that anyone could love you that much? It is for me. I hate that Jesus had to die and that He had to experience having all my sins laid on Him. I can't say how much I hate it. But I love Him for doing it. I wish that I could say that I appreciate it so much that I don't ever sin anymore, but I can't. Thankfully, even the horrible sins that I still commit every day were laid on Him that day so long ago when He was nailed to that cross. He knew I couldn't live up to His standards, even when I'd finally want to, and therefore He took my sins away from me and had the Father punish Him instead for them. He did the same thing for you. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around someone loving me that much too. I believe it because I know He's alive and that He's with me even now, and because I know that He's changed me already. I can see small differences in myself from how I used to be. I can see those differences in you as well. Whenever we start to think that we're so much worse than anyone else that God wouldn't want to save us, we need to stop those thoughts immediately and instead literally begin to praise the Lord that He did save us! Begin to sing songs of praise to the one who loved us and gave Himself for us. That's the best way to defeat Satan who is behind those kind of thoughts.
If God can save and use these people He can certainly save and use you and me. I'm sure you've seen at least some of these before, but there are lots more. Keep in mind that the things mentioned didn't occur "just once" either, but were generally habitual things. (and besides, the list might bring a smile or even a laugh to you)
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was old, and he was a chronic liar
Sarah laughed at God's promises and she was impatient;
Isaac was a daydreamer and a liar
Jacob was a liar and a cheater
Leah was ugly and had very bad eyesight
Joseph was abused
Moses stuttered and he was a murderer and had a temper
Miriam was a gossip.
Gideon was afraid and doubted
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
David was an adulterer (not to mention a murderer)
Solomon was an idolator and also had more than one wife and so was an adulterer as were many others.
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow, full of self pity and depressed.
Job went bankrupt
Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
John the Baptist ate bugs
Andrew lived in the shadow of his big brother
Peter denied Christ because he was more afraid of men than God and he had a temper.
John was self-righteous.
Matthew was a low life tax collector (think of people today who loan money to others at huge interest rates and beat them up when they don't pay it back on time)
All the disciples fell asleep while praying (and ran away when Jesus really needed them.)
Thomas doubted.
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced (more than once) She was an adulterer.
Mary Magdalene was demon-possessed
Zacchaeus was also a low life chief tax collector
Timothy had an ulcer
Paul was a self righteous murderer.
John Mark was rejected by Paul.
Timothy had ulcers.
Oh…and Lazarus was dead
Think of all the ordinary people the Lord has used to turn the world upside down. But also consider how utterly unqualified so many of them were.
• Noah got DRUNK.
• Abraham was too OLD.
• Jacob was a LIAR.
• Gideon was AFRAID.
• Rahab was A PROSTITUTE.
• Jeremiah and Timothy were considered TOO YOUNG.
• David had an AFFAIR.
• Moses was a MURDERER.
• Elijah was SUICIDAL at one point.
• Jonah RAN FROM GOD.
• Peter DENIED CHRIST.
• The Disciples FELL ASLEEP while PRAYING.
• The Samaritan Woman WAS DIVORCED five times.
• Timothy had AN ULCER.
• John the Baptist ATE BUGS.
• And Lazarus WAS DEAD!
So what's our excuse?
Sometimes do you ever wonder why God called you to do something for Him? There are many reasons why God shouldn't have called you, or me, or anyone else for that matter, but God doesn't wait until we are perfect to call us. Think of all those God used. You're in good company if you think you aren't ready for God to use.
• Abraham lied.
• Sarah laughed at God's promises.
• Moses stuttered.
• David's armor didn't fit.
• John Mark was rejected by Paul.
• Timothy had ulcers.
• Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
• Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
• Jacob was a liar.
• David had an affair.
• Solomon was too rich.
• Jesus was too poor.
• Abraham was to old.
• David was too young.
• Peter was afraid of death.
• Lazarus was dead.
• John was self-righteous.
• Naomi was a widow.
• Paul was a murderer.
• So was Moses.
• Jonah ran from God.
• Miriam was a gossip.
• Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
• Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
• Elijah was burned out.
• Rahab was a harlet
• Paul was a murderer
• Peter denied Jesus,
• John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
• Martha was a worry-wort.
• Mary may have been lazy.
• Samson had long hair.
• Noah got drunk.
• Did I mention Moses had a short fuse?
• So did Peter, Paul and lots of folks.
But God doesn't hire and fire like most bosses because He's more like our Dad than a boss. He doesn't look at financial gain or loss. He's not prejudiced or partial, nor sassy and brassy, nor deaf to our cry. He's not blind to our faults. His gifts to us are free. We could do wonderful things for others and still not be wonderful ourselves. Satan says, "You're not worthy!" Jesus says, "So what? I AM." Satan looks back and sees our mistakes. God looks back and sees the Cross.
“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.” (Psalm 40:1–3)
He's obviously in a real bad situation (slimy pit) and yet, he waits "patiently" God’s promises are your hope as you wait on Him. Waiting on God does not mean being idle. It is active, daily obedience in the things you know to do with supreme confidence in His perfect, sovereign answer. Waiting on God means you know that He is at work when all appears silent & frozen. In His time, in His way, He will meet your needs & bring honor to His name. Admit your helplessness. In your weariness, cast your burdens on Him. Nothing is too difficult for Him. Enter His gates
Solomon wrote in Ecc 3:1: “There is an appointed time for everything”. Though not included in the list of appropriate seasons that followed, this principle rings just as true: “There is a time to wait—and a time to act.” How do you see the difference? There are two conditions involved in determining the latter course. If you have done everything you know to discern God’s leadership—praying diligently, gathering facts, searching the Word, obtaining good counsel, submitting totally to Jesus’ lordship—and if a decision must be made now, then it is time to move forward. If you want to please God sincerely, you must not worry about the consequences of your decisions. If it is the wrong decision, then He will forgive you & steer you rightly. But when a course must be charted, your confidence, faith, & courage are fully cast on the God who knows the future & has secured your relationship with Him. Wait on God when you can, but act boldly in faith when you must, entrusting yourself to a faithful God. Heavenly Father, I need wisdom to know when to wait & when to act. Give me the confidence that You will use my decisions for Your glory. I rest secure in the knowledge that You know the future. Enter His gates
The Resurrection of Christ (Psalm 40:1–3) These verses describe David’s deliverance from some trouble, but they also illustrate Christ’s resurrection. Jesus had gone down into the pit of sin for us; He was made sin for us (1 Peter 2:24; 2 Cor. 5:21). Certainly it was a “horrible pit” when you consider that Jesus bore on His sinless body all the sins of all mankind for all time. But He did not stay in the pit; God raised Him from the dead. Heb 5:7 suggests some of the horror of that Gethsemane and Calvary experience, and informs us that Jesus prayed to be “delivered out of death” (not from death, for He came to die). The Father answered that prayer and raised Him from the dead. Christ today is raised to die no more. His work is finished; His feet are on the rock. The new song is a song of victory and praise to God; see Psalm 22:22–25, and compare these verses with Psalm 40:9–10. He has put all enemies under His feet. Wiersbe’s Expository Outlines
“Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” (Psalm 40:5)
This reminds me of another verse which agrees with it: “However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him”—” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
“Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced; burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.” (Psalm 40:6)
In Paul’s view this passage has more meaning than the mere expression of grateful devotion to God’s service. He represents Christ as declaring that the sacrifices, whether vegetable or animal, wouldn't avail to meet the demands of God’s law, & that He had come to render the required satisfaction, which he states was effected by “the offering of the body of Christ” [Heb 10:10], for that is the “will of God” which Christ came to fulfill or do, in order to effect man’s redemption. We thus see that the contrast to the unsatisfactory character assigned the OT offerings in Psalm 40:6 is found in the compliance with God’s law (compare Psalm 40:7- 8). Of course, as Paul & other NT writers explain Christ’s work, it consisted in more than being made under the law or obeying its precepts. It required an “obedience unto death” [Philippians 2:8], & that is the compliance here chiefly intended, & which makes the contrast with Ps 40:6 clear. mine ears hast thou opened—Whether allusion is made to the custom of boring a servant’s ear, in token of voluntary & perpetual enslavement (Ex 21:6), or that the opening of the ear, as in Isaiah 48:8; Isaiah 50:5 (though by a different word in Hebrew) denotes obedience by the common figure of hearing for obeying, it is evident that the clause is designed to express a devotion to God’s will as avowed more fully in Psalm 40:8, & already explained. Paul, however, uses the words, “a body hast thou prepared me” [Heb 10:5], which are found in the Septuagint in the place of the words, “mine ears hast thou opened.” He does not lay any stress on this clause, & his argument is complete without it. It is, perhaps, to be regarded rather as an interpretation or free translation by the Septuagint, than either an addition or attempt at verbal translation. The Septuagint translators may have had reference to Christ’s vicarious sufferings as taught in other Scriptures, as in Isaiah 53:4–11; at all events, the sense is substantially the same, as a body was essential to the required obedience (compare Romans 7:4; 1 Peter 2:24). Commentary Critical and Explanatory
He came in that perfect body to be the perfect sacrifice for sins. Read 1 Sam. 15:22, Ps. 51:16–17, Hosea 6:6, and Micah 6:6–7 to see that nowhere in the OT are we taught that the blood of animals could wash away sins. Many Jews trusted the sacrifice instead of looking by faith to the Lord. How like many church members today who are trusting baptism or membership for salvation. Verse 6 mentions four kinds of offerings: (1) sacrifice, any kind of bloody offering; (2) offering, the non-bloody offerings, such as the meal offerings; (3) burnt offering, offering picturing total dedication to God; and (4) sin offering, offering dealing with the sin of the person. All of these OT offerings (outlined in Lev. 1–5) are pictures of the atoning work of Jesus Christ. The burnt offering pictures His total surrender to God; “I delight to do Your will.” The meal offering (Lev. 2) illustrates His perfect nature and reminds us that we feed on Him to satisfy the soul. The peace offering (Lev. 3) pictures peace with God, a peace between the sinner and the Savior that Jesus made at the cross (Col. 1:20; 2 Cor. 5:18). The sin offering (Lev. 4) deals with sin in our nature, while the trespass offering (Lev. 5) deals with acts of disobedience. Christ died for our sins, but He also condemned our old nature on the cross and thereby is able to give us victory over sin (Rom. 6–8). The important thing is this: all of these offerings are fulfilled in Jesus Christ. By one offering He settled the sin question completely and eternally. What millions of lambs and goats could never do, Jesus Christ did in His hours of agony on the cross. Hallelujah, what a Savior! Wiersbe’s Expository Outlines
“Then I said, “Here I am, I have come— it is written about me in the scroll. I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”” (Psalm 40:7–8)
David responded to the truth in verse 6 by yielding his life to do God’s will. He presented himself willingly to the Lord, received direction from the book (the scroll), and expressed his desire to do the will of God. These verses present a marvelous example of what is involved in dedicating oneself to God’s will in accordance with His Word. The Bible Knowledge Commentary
You will want to read Heb. 10:1–18 carefully. The chapter begins by saying that God has set aside all the Hebrew sacrifices which could never take away sins. In vv. 5–9, the writer argues that Jesus Christ came to do what those sacrifices could never do. But in order for Jesus to die, He had to come to earth as a man in a body of flesh (without sin, of course). As He came into the world, the Son said to the Father, “Lo, I come—in the volume of the book (the OT prophecies) it is written of Me.” Hebrews 10:5, NKJV, quotes Ps. 40:6, NKJV, as “a body You have prepared for Me” instead of “my ears You have opened.” Of course, the same Holy Spirit who wrote the Word can quote it and expand or explain it as He wills. Jesus Christ came in a prepared body; He was born of the Virgin Mary, conceived by the Holy Spirit (Luke 1:26–38). God has four ways to make a body: (1) out of clay, as with Adam; (2) out of man, as with Eve, Gen. 2:21–25; (3) out of woman married to man, as in every normal human birth; and (4) out of woman without man, as with the birth of Christ. Jesus Christ came in a prepared body, a body that was not tainted by sin. Though He felt all the sinless infirmities of flesh (hunger, pain, weariness, death), He never shared in the sinful weaknesses of flesh. If Jesus Christ did not have a sinless nature, then He could not be the Savior of the world. For the phrase “my ears you have opened,” see Ex. 21:1–6 and Isa. 50:5. The OT Jew would pierce the ear of the servant who wanted to remain with him forever. It is a beautiful picture of dedication. Note too that the birth of Christ was “written in the book.” The first promise is in Gen. 3:15, where God announced that the “seed of the woman” (not the man, therefore a virgin birth) would defeat the seed of Satan. Later, God announced to Abraham that the Savior would come through the Jews, and then He revealed that He would come through the tribe of Judah. Isaiah 7:14 announced the virgin birth, and Micah 5:2 informed the people that He would come to Bethlehem. Wiersbe’s Expository Outlines
"I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly." Psalm 40:10
Here David is talking about sharing his testimony, and praising God at the Temple with other believers, and saying too that he doesn't just read or study about God's righteousness but instead, it's in his heart so that he can live it out with his life. He says that he speaks about how God's helped him to others. In other words, it's just like what we were talking about before. When something good happens to him or to another person, he says, "praise God! What wonderful news!" or something like that  . When he has good news to share, instead of saying, "I almost got into a wreck today, but I was lucky and didn't get hit", he says something like, "I almost got into a wreck today, as there was no way to avoid it, but Praise the Lord, He saved me from it! He's so amazing!" Because we know the truth that when something really good happens to us, it's from the Lord, we say so. That's just part of who we are. We're not putting on airs or trying to make ourselves sound spiritual, it's just the way we think, and David's simply saying that He doesn't hide who he is. He praises God when good things happen, and prays for His help when bad things happen, knowing that God is in control. You've told me before that's how you are too, and I've found that the more we allow ourselves to do that, the more we will begin to see the things that God is doing in our lives and in the world around us.
How often do you feel like verse 12? Can you explain more about that?
“Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.” (Psalm 40:17)
The Man of Sorrows closes this psalm with yet another appeal based on His need as He hung between heaven and earth dying for us. His disciples had forsaken Him, His friends had departed, His call was to the Lord God Jehovah, His deliverer, make no tarrying, O my God. In perfect faith, just as the psalmist had called upon the Lord God and had expected deliverance, so too the Son of God, in perfect faith, called upon His Father to hasten His deliverance through death because that would also hasten His resurrection to life. KJV Bible Commentary
I just wanted to quickly comment on Oswald Chamber....I had his book and often found it hard to understand, whereas with Spurgeon, I never had that problem.
For sure, they both wrote in unique ways, but I thought there was something wrong with me that most of the time, I was left confused and scratching my head to really understand what exactly was he saying?
In fact, I tried to read the article got about 1/2 through and I must admit, I don't really quite understand it either.....
It sounds a little like it is saying, that in a way,
Chambers was interpreting scripture kind of like 2 Peter 1:20 says it was not done ( and by conjecture we should not do it)????
Like I said, everything about Chambers is a wee bit confusing to me....including why he was a false teacher....tho for sure, I could mostly never understand for the most part what exactly he was saying...so maybe , that was a good thing,
like I was being protected.
Some people who otherwise might be aware of their sin, because they have been taught that sin has no relationship to depression, need to be shown that feelings flow from actions. Of course there are persons “past feeling” whose conscience has been “seared with a branding iron.” To the best of my knowledge, the Bible does not seem to speak about the so-called sociopath (psychopath), who is supposed to have little or no conscience. The matter needs further study.
So first it talks about someone who's "past feeling" who's conscience has been seared. Then after saying that, it speaks about the so called sociopath who's supposedly doesn't have a conscience. The only thing he says about that is that the bible does not seem to speak about anyone like that so it needs further study.
Don't worry about it if you couldn't understand the article about Chambers. I'd suggest simply not reading Chambers anymore.
I know psychology is just man made made up stuff without God....but was it saying that a seared conscience the world would call a sociopath,
still is bothered by their conscience because "the wicked flee"?
My daughter has a friend who is becoming or is a nurse now, who used to call the father of Hossanah's children a 'sociopath'.
He can be the most charming,
hilariously funny person, but he is all about himself, and many innocent words were interpreted as attacks on him ( and he would become furious).
So that was interesting insight.
I had never really realized that David never confessed his sin until confronted by the prophet ( Nathan was it?).
What would have happened do you think if the prophet had never confronted him? He would have still been loved by God, but do you think God would have kept the pressure up, brought someone else to confront him, or let him grow old and die, with this sin unconfessed?
That was such a great example you explained to me about if sin were graded ( but its not) from -10 to +10.....that was super helpful!!!!!
I had never seen the list of sins committed by different people in the Bible....that was just great!!!
and super funny for some....I especially laughed at John the baptist ate bugs!!!
You asked about Psalm 40:12
Wow! It sure does feel like that on occasion.....I can been going along ( know that yes, I have sinned every day......but feel like not so much, better, cleaner and I thank the Lord).....
but then boom
one day....it seems like I just loose it......
and "my sins have overtaken me"
I know its not that really, I have allowed it because "troubles without number surround me"
and perhaps I feel entitled to a pity party or whatever.....I just am overwhelmed....it seems to much, I am tired, hurting, and bummed to the max.
The thing is "I cannot see"....I have become blind to the fact that God is still in charge, He is allowing this for a reason ( and often, very soon, He solves most if not all the problems, not only that, sometimes, the outcome is even better than before they festered)....but at the time, I go 'blind' for awhile.....it's not pretty as they say ans I should not allow myself to sink that low...I know I need to take my thoughts captive right from the get go!!!
By the way...we have not heard from Eva in awhile huh?
I wonder how she is doing?
In Psalm 51 David wrote about his sin against Uriah and Bathsheba. The Psalm is the record of his repentance after Nathan accused him of adultery and murder. In verse 3 he described the anxiety state caused by his guilty conscience prior to repentance. He wrote: “My sin is ever before me.” Counseling experience underscores the biblical idea that most people know why they're in trouble, even when at 1st they deny it. Whenever counselors operate on the assumption that this is so, they find most people drop their defenses & tell it like it is. Counselors who presuppose that clients don't know the problems in their lives tend to ignore or reinterpret genuine expressions of guilt & thereby discourage & confuse clients about the causes of their difficulties. It's a serious question whether a Christian whose conscience judges him according to the explicit standards of Scripture can ever become seriously depressed over the guilt of sin committed without that sin being “ever before him.” Cf. also Job 6:30.
Ok, the above part is simply saying that worldly counselors do not relate how people are feeling to the possibility of their being any sin in the persons life. In act, if a person tells a counselor that they feel guilty about something they did, the counselor is very likely to try and get them to give up the feeling of guilt and tell them they have nothing to feel guilty about, because they don't believe in sin. The last sentence that starts out, "It's a serious question" is saying that it's impossible for someone who is seriously depressed due to feeling guilty, to not be aware of sin in their lives - even if they don't call it "sin".
Some people who otherwise might be aware of their sin, because they have been taught that sin has no relationship to depression, need to be shown that feelings flow from actions.
For someone who was feeling guilty but went to a counselor who taught them that there was no such thing as sin and that they had nothing to feel guilty about, needs to be shown how sin works, and taught again that there is such a thing as sin. They need to be shown that our feelings come from actions (and I would also add that it's like a circle because our actions also come from thoughts and feelings. We have a thought and do something and our thoughts and actions always have a feeling attached to them. We change the feelings by changing the thoughts to the truth etc.)
Of course there are persons “past feeling” whose conscience has been “seared with a branding iron.”
“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.” (1 Timothy 4:1–2) Our conscience can only work correctly if we give it the correct information. If a parent does not teach their child that it is wrong to steal, then that child's conscience won't bother them when they steal something. The same with anything else. But even if a person has been raised right, we can still corrupt our conscience, and most people do so. The easiest example today would be someone that's homosexual. They most likely were taught when they were young that homosexuality was wrong and was a sin that God hated. As they grew up and determined that they were homosexual, they didn't want to feel bad about it. They wanted to be accepted as normal. So every time their conscience accused them, they told themselves it was perfectly ok to be homosexual and that what they were taught as a child was wrong, because the bible really doesn't say that. They continued to tell themselves lies about it until finally their conscience no longer bothered them when they were with someone of the same sex. At that point, their conscience became "seared as with a hot iron".
To the best of my knowledge, the Bible does not seem to speak about the so-called sociopath (psychopath), who is supposed to have little or no conscience. The matter needs further study.
Notice that he does not say that the Bible does not speak about a sociopath. He says that he personally hasn't found where it speaks about it, and therefore he needs to study about it more.
Prov 28:1 vividly pictures the effects of a haunting guilty conscience: “The wicked flee when no one pursues: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” A guilty conscience leads to fear, and a good conscience leads to boldness. The wicked flee in many ways. Henry was burdened with a guilty conscience. Walking down the street one day, he saw Ron coming his way. Henry knew he had wronged Ron in a business deal. Seeing Ron, Henry was suddenly afraid & felt as if he had to avoid him at all costs. He turned a corner as quickly as he could & escaped. He felt as if he would do almost anything to avoid meeting Ron. Because Henry had wronged him, Ron had become a stressor to Henry. Unforgiven sinners are vulnerable people. They often become intensely self conscious. Even innocent words frequently are interpreted as personal attacks. They interpret as personal affronts acts that have no direct relationship to them. A guilty person may claim that a sermon was a personal attack, or lacking the courage to do so, will object to some incidental feature of the sermon. or some supposed slight of the minister. To call such a person paranoid is to minsinterpret the dynamics of his problem. On the other hand, a man at peace with God & with other men is invulnerable & can be bold as a lion. Competent to counsel:
Then he goes back to the subject of someone who has a guilty conscience, showing how a guilty conscience leads to fear. He gives a current example of that. Showing how it might look in someone today. Note though that he is not saying that everyone who has a guilty conscience will have all of the characteristics he lists. Some may have all of them, and some may only have one. It depends on the person and how guilty they feel, etc. He is simply listing characteristics of a guilty conscience for other counselors to look for in their clients so they can best help them.
I hope this clears up all that he said about this. Just because someone's a nurse or a doctor or the president of the US, doesn't make them correct in what they say. I'm sure you know that. As far as your daughter's friend goes, maybe they were a sociopath and maybe they weren't. It sounds to me like they were simply paranoid which comes from a guilty conscience not from someone that has no conscience which is what the world says a sociopath has.
You know as well as I do what the Lord would have done if Nathan had refused to confront David. If you loved someone and knew they were in a very dangerous place that could hurt them badly, what would you do? You'd do all you could to rescue them wouldn't you? Well, so does God, and since He is God, He can't fail. Therefore if Nathan had refused, He would have gotten someone else, or else made sure Nathan wouldn't refuse.
I'm glad you got a laugh out of the list of sins.
I can understand what you're saying about how you sometimes get overwhelmed. That happens to everyone and you're exactly right, that's when you need to take your thoughts captive. But, it's also ok to allow yourself to have that pity party for a short time to get it out of your system. We've talked about that before. The next time it happens, literally tell yourself that you're going to give yourself 30 minutes to feel rotten. then go someplace where you can be alone, set your alarm for 30 mins and have yourself the best pity party ever: cry, beat up a pillow, stomp your feet, yell, or do whatever it is that you feel like doing. But, when that alarm goes off, your time is up and you must go back to being a grown up and taking your thoughts captive. So when the alarm goes off, begin by talking to the Lord and asking forgiveness for not trusting Him. Tell Him you really want to trust Him but you're overwhelmed and need His help. Hopefully you'll be able to look back at your pity party/temper tantrum that you just had and laugh, realizing how totally ridiculous it was. At least that's how it always affected me lol. I felt embarrassed too, which meant that eventually I no longer needed to allow myself time for a pity party, instead all I had to do was think about it and the very thought would make me laugh at how ridiculous it was, and I'd go right to the Lord instead. There's another resource that the Lord has given you though that you haven't been using. You have a sister in Christ, (me) who would be more than happy to help you through it the next time it happens. So tell me about it when it happens! Tell me about what's going on that's overwhelming you and we'll work through it together. You can have your pity party first before you tell me if you want to. I'm not kidding, that can actually help, believe it or not lol. But even feeling overwhelmed, this shouldn't affect you more than one day at the very most, and I'd like to help you get that down to a few hours at the very most. OK? Is it a deal?
4/10/17
Psalm 41
The first 3 verses talk about some of the blessings from the Lord, I especially liked v. 3
v. 3 "The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness."
and v. 4 certainly refers to me as well....
v. 4 "I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”
Even tho the enemies of the psalmist say v. 8 I sometimes have said it of myself
v.8 "“A vile disease has afflicted him;
he will never get up from the place where he lies.”
Yet, v. 11 applies to me also:
v.11 "11 I know that you are pleased with me,
for my enemy does not triumph over me"
And since I am looking for praises to apply v. 13 has one
v.13 "Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Amen and Amen."
Did you mean when you asked about conscience, what you wrote about integrity and your slip up into sinning by a swear word?
Even if, that was not what you were referring to, that was really helpful to me to see how it could still be turned around so you could yet be a witness.....I am not sure I would have the strength, to tell the people that....maybe some....but in any case it is something to pray about for me
In fact, it sort of reminds me about this quote:
"If even that seems too much, ride on someone else’s hope for as long as you need. Let your friends or family read Scripture to you. Let them tell you about their hope and confidence in Christ. There are many different ways of doing battle."
I think that is what I have been doing, riding on the hope in the Lord you have when I am down......thank you.
I'm glad what I went through helped you, because that's yet another way the Lord has used it for good! By the way, I've only managed to get hold of one of the two neighbors who were with us that night. She graciously forgave me, and of course said that I didn't do anything to forgive. I didn't explain it to her as I know she doesn't understand anything about forgiveness or God and being saved. For now I feel it's enough that she sees the difference between how I live and how others live since she's well aware that I'm a Christian. My other neighbor hasn't been home since then. I'm hoping she will be today so I can call her. I will admit that it was very hard to get myself to actually call the first neighbor. But I was watching out the window to see when she got home so I could go out and talk to her. When she did drive up, i wasn't able to get up and get out there fast enough to do it in person and really didn't feel up to walking over to her house. So I asked the Lord if I could just call her and felt that would be OK. Then I had to talk myself into doing it LOL. I just kept thinking that the Lord was right there with me, and there was no way I was going to disobey Him or let Him down. So I called, and it was really easy. Now I'm not at all concerned about calling my other neighbor. I'm absolutely sure you'd be able to do it too if it ever happened to you.
It makes a big difference in what we're able to do when we're very aware of the Lord standing right next to us. And it's easy to be aware of Him being there too. All that takes is reminding yourself that He's there!  4/12/17
Psalm 46
V.1 is one of my favorites
( well at LOT are....but you know what I mean LOL)
v. 1 "God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble."
I do think of God as a refuse,
but often forget he is my strength...
even tho..... I know the verse,
I can all thing through Christ....
I sometimes doubt I can do all things thru Christ and forget it is God that is my strength
( I don't necessarily mean physical things, but even spiritual, or emotional etc.).
Sometimes I do remember tho.
Actually I sometimes fear less, v. 2 & 3, surprisingly!!!
Maybe it's a little ( not much) fatalistic, but truly, its more trusting in God....
if he indeed allows nature to do whatever calamity....
( I think He will either save us from it, or we will go on to be with Him)...
in any case, there is not much sense in sitting around being afraid of.....
for example here in the coastal Northwest what they are always trying to frighten people with ( and it could happen for sure) the Cascadia fault slipping and killing millions on the coast.....
but seriously....what is the point of worrying endlessly about it?
it might happen in the next second,
or
it might not for a 100 years....
So v. 4 is where I prefer to keep my thoughts on....
The city and kingdom of God.
I just finished 3 sermons by macArthur on the end of the universe (and our world).....
he was (in part) talking about how many Christians are getting on the 'green' save the earth band wagon....
but he pointed out, this sin tainted earth is a 'disposable earth'. Obviously we should be good stewards...
but to put all our time and effort into 'saving' the planet,
reducing our carbon foot print, and all that is absolute nonsense!!
He did make a joke saying something like, look folks, there is going to be a very BIG 'carbon foot print' when God destroys the universe ( and our planet) by fire!
Instead, we are to use our time to spread the gospel ( what little time we have left).
My application is to be still ( not worry and fret or what 'might' happen or not) but rather spend my time knowing that God is and praise Him and exalt him:
v. 10 "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
God will stabilize you through His divine assistance, upright you when you fall, and constantly gird you through His unfailing strength and love. God is the Sustainer of your soul. He will see you through when you cannot see at all. Enter His gates
How do you seek intimacy with God? Meditate on the way he treats you. God’s love for us is the most wonderful thing in this world—it’s at the core of what makes life bright and hopeful. Read these Bible verses and make them your own. You are never out of sight or out of mind to God (Psalm 139:7–10). He creates intimacy with you by the way he treats you (Isaiah 42:3). He notices and cares about everything that happens to you (Luke 12:6–7). He speaks openly about himself (John 15:15). He listens to you (Psalm 6:8–9). He is a refuge in the midst of your sufferings (Psalm 46). He hangs in there over the long haul (Isaiah 49:14–16). He laid down his life for you (John 3:16; Romans 5:6–8). He forgives all of your sins (Psalm 103:1–5). His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:21–24). God wants you to respond to his love by trusting him with your whole life. He has bridged the distance between you and him through the life, death, and resurrection of his Son. Now he is making you like him and walking with you every step of the way. Heart of the matter
Fearful? Worried? There are two things you should know about fear or worry. First, like any strong emotion, it wants to be the boss. It wants authority. It claims to tell us how life really is, and it won’t be easily persuaded otherwise. If my experience of fear says that there is danger and you say there isn’t, my fear wins. If my experience of fear says that there is danger and God himself says he is with me, my fear wins. Fear doesn’t trust easily. It tenaciously holds onto its self-protecting agenda. Think about it. When was the last time God’s comforting words made a difference to you? Second, when fear escalates, it wants relief and it wants it now. Fear is impatient. He forgives all of your sins (Psalm 103:1–5). His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:21–24). God wants you to respond to his love by trusting him with your whole life. He has bridged the distance between you and him through the life, death, and resurrection of his Son. Now he is making you like him and walking with you every step of the way. Heart of the matter
“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” (Psalm 46:4)
He's not talking about a literal river, rather about the supply of spiritual power available from the Lord for His people. In the Bible, water for drinking is a picture of the Holy Spirit. In John 7:37-39 Jesus compares the Spirit of God to a river of living water. No matter how difficult the problems of life may be, we need not fear because we have a refuge, and we need not faint because we have a river. God supplies us with the spiritual power we need to keep going in spite of the difficulties. “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.” The bumps are what you climb on.
What I'd like to do now if first discuss what I wrote yesterday about all that the counselor said, to make sure you understand that, as it's important, as well as the rest of what I wrote. So you might want to quote that post so you can reply to each of the things I said.
Second, I really would like to discuss the subject of fear, worry, and depression versus joy. So if possible let's do that next ok? How about if after talking about my last post, you write what you've learned about Joy and the Lord that you think will help you overcome feeling down when you wake up, and how you plan to put it into practice.
4/13/17
I missed seeing that post sooooooo I am reposting it:
In Psalm 51 David wrote about his sin against Uriah and Bathsheba. The Psalm is the record of his repentance after Nathan accused him of adultery and murder. In verse 3 he described the anxiety state caused by his guilty conscience prior to repentance. He wrote: “My sin is ever before me.” Counseling experience underscores the biblical idea that most people know why they're in trouble, even when at 1st they deny it. Whenever counselors operate on the assumption that this is so, they find most people drop their defenses & tell it like it is. Counselors who presuppose that clients don't know the problems in their lives tend to ignore or reinterpret genuine expressions of guilt & thereby discourage & confuse clients about the causes of their difficulties. It's a serious question whether a Christian whose conscience judges him according to the explicit standards of Scripture can ever become seriously depressed over the guilt of sin committed without that sin being “ever before him.” Cf. also Job 6:30.
Ok, the above part is simply saying that worldly counselors do not relate how people are feeling to the possibility of their being any sin in the persons life. In act, if a person tells a counselor that they feel guilty about something they did, the counselor is very likely to try and get them to give up the feeling of guilt and tell them they have nothing to feel guilty about, because they don't believe in sin. The last sentence that starts out, "It's a serious question" is saying that it's impossible for someone who is seriously depressed due to feeling guilty, to not be aware of sin in their lives - even if they don't call it "sin".
Some people who otherwise might be aware of their sin, because they have been taught that sin has no relationship to depression, need to be shown that feelings flow from actions.
For someone who was feeling guilty but went to a counselor who taught them that there was no such thing as sin and that they had nothing to feel guilty about, needs to be shown how sin works, and taught again that there is such a thing as sin. They need to be shown that our feelings come from actions (and I would also add that it's like a circle because our actions also come from thoughts and feelings. We have a thought and do something and our thoughts and actions always have a feeling attached to them. We change the feelings by changing the thoughts to the truth etc.)
Of course there are persons “past feeling” whose conscience has been “seared with a branding iron.”
“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.” (1 Timothy 4:1–2) Our conscience can only work correctly if we give it the correct information. If a parent does not teach their child that it is wrong to steal, then that child's conscience won't bother them when they steal something. The same with anything else. But even if a person has been raised right, we can still corrupt our conscience, and most people do so. The easiest example today would be someone that's homosexual. They most likely were taught when they were young that homosexuality was wrong and was a sin that God hated. As they grew up and determined that they were homosexual, they didn't want to feel bad about it. They wanted to be accepted as normal. So every time their conscience accused them, they told themselves it was perfectly ok to be homosexual and that what they were taught as a child was wrong, because the bible really doesn't say that. They continued to tell themselves lies about it until finally their conscience no longer bothered them when they were with someone of the same sex. At that point, their conscience became "seared as with a hot iron".
To the best of my knowledge, the Bible does not seem to speak about the so-called sociopath (psychopath), who is supposed to have little or no conscience. The matter needs further study.
Notice that he does not say that the Bible does not speak about a sociopath. He says that he personally hasn't found where it speaks about it, and therefore he needs to study about it more.
Prov 28:1 vividly pictures the effects of a haunting guilty conscience: “The wicked flee when no one pursues: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” A guilty conscience leads to fear, and a good conscience leads to boldness. The wicked flee in many ways. Henry was burdened with a guilty conscience. Walking down the street one day, he saw Ron coming his way. Henry knew he had wronged Ron in a business deal. Seeing Ron, Henry was suddenly afraid & felt as if he had to avoid him at all costs. He turned a corner as quickly as he could & escaped. He felt as if he would do almost anything to avoid meeting Ron. Because Henry had wronged him, Ron had become a stressor to Henry. Unforgiven sinners are vulnerable people. They often become intensely self conscious. Even innocent words frequently are interpreted as personal attacks. They interpret as personal affronts acts that have no direct relationship to them. A guilty person may claim that a sermon was a personal attack, or lacking the courage to do so, will object to some incidental feature of the sermon. or some supposed slight of the minister. To call such a person paranoid is to minsinterpret the dynamics of his problem. On the other hand, a man at peace with God & with other men is invulnerable & can be bold as a lion. Competent to counsel:
Then he goes back to the subject of someone who has a guilty conscience, showing how a guilty conscience leads to fear. He gives a current example of that. Showing how it might look in someone today. Note though that he is not saying that everyone who has a guilty conscience will have all of the characteristics he lists. Some may have all of them, and some may only have one. It depends on the person and how guilty they feel, etc. He is simply listing characteristics of a guilty conscience for other counselors to look for in their clients so they can best help them.
I hope this clears up all that he said about this. Just because someone's a nurse or a doctor or the president of the US, doesn't make them correct in what they say. I'm sure you know that. As far as your daughter's friend goes, maybe they were a sociopath and maybe they weren't. It sounds to me like they were simply paranoid which comes from a guilty conscience not from someone that has no conscience which is what the world says a sociopath has."
No I wasn't saying our grandchildren's father is a sociopath just because our daughter's nurse friend said so.....
But he does seem to turn anything he does wrong ,
into a proper response... in his own eyes,
because that person
( be it our daughter, his mother, friends, police etc.)
wronged him.
Of course we all do that from time to time, but I don't think I ever heard of a time he apologized for anything ever...
of course,
I don't know that,
he may well have,
but I just have never heard about it.
Because he is 1/2 black, he is especially sensitive to slights either real or perceived against him....
and yet he has a very charismatic personality....his story telling is hilarious.
But I sometimes wonder if he does not tell himself he is right to do or say, this or that, because he has been picked,and/or or truly abused for being 'black'.
This very friend or our daughter had to call the police on him once because he was furious for some perceived offense from our daughter and he was threatening violence....
Our daughter can be feisty but is very compassionate and fair.....every single time the grandchildren go to see him, he threatens to keep them....yet she would not keep them from him or him from them.....
and to his credit, he has never been violent with 'HIS' children ever....
Sooooo I was trying to figure out if he actually has a seared conscious ( or... if there was even such a thing as a sociopath, and IF there was is, is he, or is he just a self-centered sinner like all of us)?
But the word sociopath caught my attention and I did want to know more about it, because he is the only person I know, who wrongly.....
or rightly ( if it is possible but probably not biblically) was in fact as labeled that not even by an so-called expert...
but the interest is there because,he is after all our 2 grandchildren's dad.
But really I think he is just a sinner who feels super 'entitled' because of his sufferings. (oh! not unlike I have from time to time :-( )
His dad left his mom when he and his brother were just young, so that is another pain he has suffered in his life.
So thank you for your post.....
I somehow totally did not see it. By the way, I have on occasion thought, if I should call you when depressed in the morning LOL
I am sure you would just love that!
you might wonder why I don't talk to Leonard instead ( God first of course)
but what usually happens during the week, is he gets up before me, and takes the grandchildren to their respective schools.
Then, I start to wake up.....
But also I don't ever want hubby to think it is somehow something he done or not done....sure I could say that...
but I know when people have said something similar to me in the past....
oh its not you at all believe me.....
I still wonder and think.....
but could I have done something,
and I know I was not as nice or kind as I could have been etc.
But the bottom line is,
I keep thinking I need to work it out with the Lord
and take my thoughts captive etc.
I think I don't stay as depressed anywhere as near as long as I used to.....
however, I cannot ever remember a morning waking up with absolutely no feeling of being, a little down or blue,
or actually depressed, ever ever in my life.
in fact, like I said once a long time ago, I used to be 'depressed 80-90 percent of each day
now it's 1% on a good day
and maybe 10% (IF that much) on a bad day.....
and of course how much pain I am in, etc. does play its part....but even then,
its a lot less.
As for calling me, you most certainly can do that if you want to. But you're right in one sense, it's something you do need to work on with the Lord. Satan wants you to hand on to this. He does not want you to give it up and he wants you to believe that you will always feel that way, and that it's acceptable to feel that way. He wants you to dwell on it and ruin the rest of your day as well. If at all possible, he wants to get you back to the way you were before, and he uses this as a wedge to do that. This gives him his "foot in the door" so to speak.
So it's very important that you work on this and take those thoughts and feelings captive and replace them the way the Lord says to. There's one other thing that we should make sure of though... people who live with pain, often feel kind of groggy when they first wake up - partly due to meds, partly due to pain, etc. and that can be mistaken for feeling "down". You need to be sure that you're actually feeling down and not just feeling groggy and out of it when you first wake up. The way to do that is by recognizing what your first thoughts are when you wake up. It might help if you were to share that with me daily, and we could work on it together.
One thing that helps is knowing that you have something you love to do waiting for you each day. The best thing to love to do is of course to spend time with the Lord and to be looking forward to doing that and seeing what He has for you to do that day, and wondering if maybe this is the day He will come for us.
4/13/17
psalm 47
V. 1 mentions joy for sure, but I always cringe when I read 'shout(s)'
maybe its a cultural thing or maybe cuz my adopted parents were born in the 1890's where children were to be 'seen and not heard'
Shouting just gives me the willies
But anyway. I am first working on just joy...not shouting yet
But then....
don't you just know v. 5 brings us shouting again!!!
Back to v. 2 and 3 which gives some praises of our Lord....
and v. 6
says to sing praises....
hummmm
maybe I could make that my application ( for now),
instead of SHOUTING LOL
Because as v.9 says
".....He is greatly exalted."
That's interesting that shouting gives you the willies.... you do realize I hope that he's talking about speaking loudly because you're so full of joy you can't hold it in any longer?
I've been wondering for quite awhile now, and keep forgetting to ask you: Do you listen to hymns or praise and worship music very often? If not, why? If you do, what do you listen to and how does it affect you? This is important because it's one of the best ways we are to praise the Lord and worship Him. Doing this chases away depression and worry and stress etc better than anything else there is.
4/14/17
Psalm 48
In the first 2 verses both praise and joy, and this psalm talks about the city of God which I am thinking refers to Jerusalem?
V. 9 talks about thinking on God's unfailing love ( a good application for me as well).
and v. 14 is an uplifting verse to think on also:
v. 14 "For this God is our God for ever and ever;
he will be our guide even to the end."
“God is in her citadels; he has shown himself to be her fortress.” (Psalm 48:3) Did you notice how usually the city is the fortress of a King, but for us and in this verse, our God is the fortress for the city!
4/16/17
Psalm 50
Such a mighty picture of God
It probably is not true but verses 3 & 4 remind me a little of when God will end this universe in fire:
v. 3 "........a fire devours before him,
and around him a tempest rages.
4 He summons the heavens above,
and the earth, that he may judge his people"
v. 12 & 13
show that the Jewish sacrifices for sin did not truly atone for sins
v. 12 "If I were hungry I would not tell you,
for the world is mine, and all that is in it.
13 Do I eat the flesh of bulls
or drink the blood of goats?"
But if we are to offer any type of 'sacrifices it should be of 'thanksgiving' which is my application....to count my blessings and offer thanksgiving for them.
v. 23 "Those who sacrifice thank offerings honor me,
and to the blameless I will show my salvation.”
With this scene envisioned, Asaph then reported the Lord’s two charges against His people (vv. 7–15 and 16–23). The charge was given as a word from God, their God, so they would take heed. God did not reprove them, however, for their meticulous keeping of the letter of the Law in offering the prescribed sacrifices. But Israel failed to realize that God did not need their bulls or goats, for He is the Lord of all Creation. He already owns every animal and knows every bird. He instituted the sacrifices not because He needed the animals but because the people desperately needed Him. He is not like the gods of the pagans who supposedly thrived on food sacrifices. The Lord does not depend on man’s worship for survival.
Psalm 50:14–15. Israel should offer their sacrifices of thanksgiving from a genuine trust in the Lord. The solution to formalism is to worship in genuine faith, which is why Asaph called on the people to sacrifice thank offerings. Such an offering could not be given unless the offerer had experienced God’s work on his behalf. If he was in distress and called on God, the Lord would answer. Then the offerer would praise the Lord as a spontaneous expression of his enjoyment of God’s benefits. If the people had been praising they would have enjoyed His benefits, not worshiping in an empty ritualistic form.
Psalm 50:16–17. Asaph, announcing God’s second charge, decried the nation’s hypocritical living. He first rebuked the wicked for reciting His laws and speaking of His covenant as their profession of faith, for they actually hated God’s instruction. Though these wicked people assembled with those who loved the Lord, God knew their hearts.
Psalm 50:18–21. The psalmist then selected several examples of their wickedness. While appearing righteous, they tolerated and took part in theft (cf. Ex. 20:15), adultery (cf. Ex. 20:14), and slander (cf. Ex. 20:16). He warned them not to confuse God’s patience with His approval. God’s silence did not mean that He agreed with their actions. Instead the Lord would rebuke them directly (to your face).
Psalm 50:22–23. Asaph instructed the hypocrites to consider their ways before it was too late. Again he called on them to sacrifice thank offerings (cf. comments on v. 14) from hearts that are right with God. So the psalm indicts God’s people for formalism and hypocrisy in worship. Jesus’ advice to “worship in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24) provides the proper correctives for these faults. The Bible Knowledge Commentary
Western society, with all its culture and scientific knowledge, is in the same satanic trap that governs the life of an aborigine bowing down to a rock. We all have our gods. Many worship the god of materialism—getting more stuff is their highest pursuit. Others worship the gods of sex or entertainment. Of course, behind all of this is the worship of self. However, the essence of idolatry is possessing thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him. It may be creating a god, but it also may be making the true God into something He isn’t, or thinking something about God that is untrue. As we learn about God, ask Him to remove misconceptions you may have about Him. Be diligent to learn what God says about Himself & not what you or others think He is like. Strength for today.
What does it mean to praise God? According to the Bible, praise involves three things: 1. Reciting God’s attributes. One great reason to study the OT is that it so powerfully reveals the character of God, enabling us to praise Him better. 2. Reciting God’s works. The psalms are filled with lists of the great things God has done. When you praise God for all that He has done, your problems pale in comparison. Remembering God’s past performance glorifies Him and strengthens our faith. 3. Giving thanks for God’s attributes and works. At the heart of praise is thanksgiving. Praising God gives Him glory. Psalm 50:23 —The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!” No matter what happens in our lives, we are to express our thanks to Him for all His attributes and gracious works. Truth for today
I had not thought about it, but you are right, I do wake up groggy ( Leonard thinks best in the morning, I need a couple of hours to clear away the cobwebs.) And I often do not feel very good first thing upon waking....not just emotionally but physically.
I will also begin to identify what I am thinking when I wake up......I have always thought of it as just a 'feeling' of depression or perhaps sadness, hopelessness, etc.
But again, I think you are especially right when you said the enemy wants me to think it will never change!!!!
However you also had a really good point when you wrote:
"One thing that helps is knowing that you have something you love to do waiting for you each day. The best thing to love to do is of course to spend time with the Lord and to be looking forward to doing that and seeing what He has for you to do that day, and wondering if maybe this is the day He will come for us."
There are times when I do think, oh it will be nice today, I can go out in work in the garden, but upon waking, I don't have the passion for it, that I did looking forward to it the night before.
Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed because there are sooooooooooooo many things I should do, and I just feel defeated because I know I am not going to do them all and they all need to get down, and that is a downer.
I have to choose which things I can do, but that means the other things will once not get done!!!!!!
So tho I do sometimes feel happy that this or that 'FINALLY' got done....another day has gone by without doing this and that and that and this.
Then if I am hurting too, and feeling old....a part of me sometimes ( instead of looking up at the blessings God has provided) I wake up with a dread feeling of: Oh.....I am still here, I am still hurting, I am older and uglier....all 'I, me, my' words, I won't get the things done I so wanted to do, I am useless, etc. and I wonder why am I still here Lord? What do you want me to do today?
Then I make an effort to corral those bummer thoughts and replace them, and finally manage to drag myself up and slowly begin to have a changed attitude....but I don't know how to stop the beginning of it......the first few seconds....of Oh no, I am still here and things are not good because I can't........whatever.
I liked what what said about what constituted praise
Oh maybe I should read a verse about praise or joy before bed.
I do sometimes listen to hymns or praise music, but again, if I am short on time, I often choose to listen to a MacArthur sermon, or read Christian novel, but.....I just realized.....I do have some unaccounted for time, that I play online spider solitaire (with all 4 suits the hardest version)
I could take ...at least...... 1/2 of that time and listen to hymns....I only just now thought of that.
Because of our illnesses, our bodies don't feel well at any time really, including when we first wake up. Most people wake up feeling fairly good physically, but that's not for us any longer. One thing that can help is to make a commitment about how you're going to deal with your physical illnesses and pain. I know we've discussed this in other ways before, but I'm not sure if you've ever actually consciously made a commitment about it yourself. It's not something most people have to do and not something most would even consider. But we have to because this is something that's not going to go away.
We have to decide how we're going to deal with our illness and pain on a daily basis. What do we want our life to be like? Obviously, we won't be able to do the things we used to do, or at least we won't be able to do them the same way or in the same amount. We can't change that, so we must decide how we're going to react to it. Are we going to be angry? Are we going to just give up and be needy - making others do for us and refusing to help ourselves? Are we going to feel sorry for ourselves and make sure everyone else around us knows just how miserable we are? Of course if we do that, no one will want to be around us at all after awhile, so that's kind of like cutting off your nose to spite your face, yet people do it all the time.
Or, are we going to talk to the Lord about it and tell Him that we know He loves us and would never cause us pain, but that we also know that when we are caused pain by others or by our bodies breaking down due to sin in the world, that He will use it for His glory and our good. And that we can know we are among the very few privileged ones that He allows this to happen to, so He can make known the riches of His glory through us.
We know that the Lord has placed us exactly where He wants us to be, in the safest and best condition for us to be in. If some other condition or situation would have been better for us, then the Lord would have placed us there. We can know though that we are in the situation we're in because this is what we need and where we need to be right now in order for our loving Father to transform us to be more like Christ. Therefore we can be content with our lot in life for we know the Lord has ordained it for our good. Knowing all this, and confirming it all with Him, we can then commit to facing the illness and pain each day with a smile and determine to do our best in everything we do each day, because we're doing it for the Lord who loves us. We can therefore even do our best to rest when rest is what our bodies need, because it is the Lord we are resting for. We can commit to daily showing others the love of God and the grace of our Lord Jesus in all our actions and words every day regardless of the pain or illness. Just by smiling every day instead of crying, and doing the best we can at whatever we're doing, we can show others that there is joy to be had in this life when we walk with the Lord every day, even if we're in pain.
Good! I have a feeling that Satan has snuck in there when you weren't looking and just added those thoughts, so we'll take care of them together if you'll share them with me.
You said: "Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed because there are sooooooooooooo many things I should do, and I just feel defeated because I know I am not going to do them all and they all need to get down, and that is a downer.
I have to choose which things I can do, but that means the other things will once not get done!!!!!!
So tho I do sometimes feel happy that this or that 'FINALLY' got done....another day has gone by without doing this and that and that and this." I know what you mean. This too is normal for all of us who live with pain and illness, regardless of our age. There are 70 and 80 year olds that are in perfect health and look like they're in their 40's or 50's and are more active then many who are in their 20's! (I saw one on the news just the other night) I honestly think that you're allowing yourself to think that your age - the number of years you have lived so far - is the cause of your problems. But we have to remember that God is in control. Not our bodies, not doctors, not the government, not anyone but God. Some folks live to be over a hundred and are in complete control of their minds and bodies and take care of themselves, not needing any outside help. Other people die anytime after birth, and people get sick and live with pain at every single age from birth on. It's kind of sad, because some of these healthy people who live to ripe old ages doing things that many people much younger can't do, are unsaved. They don't even realize that the good life they've had has been given them by a God who loves them because He knows they won't accept His Son and His offer of Salvation and will spend eternity in Hell. So He gives them a good life now because that's the only good they'll ever know.
Yes, eventually this body will break down and die because of sin in the world - unless Jesus comes first anyway. But much of what you are experiencing is also experienced by people who are in their 20's, and on up, and they're no where near "old age". Age is really nothing more than a number in your head. If you think a certain age is "old", then that's old age for you. But another person may think that a person isn't "old" until they're 90 and so for that person, that's what old age is. It's really kind of silly for us to worry about though since we're never going to die anyway. Yes, our body will die, but we won't. I think that's what you really need to reflect on a lot until you can truly know that you are not your body. You have to be aware that if your arm got cut off, it wouldn't alter who you are. You would still be you. The same is true if your legs got cut off, of various organs were removed. Nor does your body represent you in this life. Your hair isn't "you". None of the parts of your body are "you". Your body is simply the clothes you're currently wearing. The good news is that when this body wears out, we will be given a new one to wear forever, that will never wear out. That alone tells us that everything about this life is temporary. Our body is temporary, the pain and illness we have now is temporary, and this part of our lives are temporary. It's like the Lord has given us play clothes to wear that we can get dirty while we grow up and learn how to be adults in His Kingdom. Then, when He decides we're ready, He gives us our new Sunday best clothes to wear - a new body, with no spot or blemish, that will last us for all eternity as we live a life of joy purpose with the Lord who loves us.
For here and now though, it's ok if we don't get everything done like we used to be able to. I know how it frustrating it is because I feel the same way. I have to remind myself that God is well aware of what I'm capable of what I'm not. And that He doesn't expect me to do all those things. I'm the one that expects or wants it, not Him. So I have to stop myself and remember to be content with what I can do now and know that what I can do now is what God wants me to do and nothing more. Same is true for you. All He asks firsts is that we spend time with Him in His Word, and then after that, do whatever He gives us to do that day, and do it for Him and His glory. One other thing to remember is that every single day that we wake up means we have one more day that we can serve Him - our serving Him may simply be resting and talking to Him as we do, or whatever we're able to do that day, but we need to know that the reason we woke up is because God has something else He wants us to do. That "something" may be no more than smiling at someone we see that day. We may never know what it is, but as long as we wake up, it means that God has a reason for us to be here. When our job is done, that will be the day that we won't wake up here, we'll wake up in Heaven with a new body instead. (And it's perfectly ok to let the Lord know that you can't wait to be with Him for real and get your new body, but not to put down what He has us here to do now or the body he's given us to do it in. We can tell Him we hurt and ask for relief etc, but we shouldn't tell Him we hate our body - you know what I mean though.)
You said: "Then if I am hurting too, and feeling old....a part of me sometimes ( instead of looking up at the blessings God has provided) I wake up with a dread feeling of: Oh.....I am still here, I am still hurting, I am older and uglier....all 'I, me, my' words, I won't get the things done I so wanted to do, I am useless, etc. and I wonder why am I still here Lord? What do you want me to do today? Then I make an effort to corral those bummer thoughts and replace them, and finally manage to drag myself up and slowly begin to have a changed attitude....but I don't know how to stop the beginning of it......the first few seconds....of Oh no, I am still here and things are not good because I can't........whatever."
That's great that you do take those thoughts captive and replace them! But now that you've learned to do that - and you should continue to do so, we can also go beyond that. First though I wanted to remember to tell you something I discovered about taking thoughts captive and replacing them. I found out that Martin Luther who lived from November 10, 1483 to February 18, 1546 also wrote a great deal about taking our thoughts captive and replacing them!
First, this is where it helps when you know that every day you're going to spend time with the Lord you love and who loves you. It's another reason why it's good to have your time with the Lord when you first get up, because when you can know that when you wake up, the Lord who loves you is there waiting for you and can't wait to spend time with you, that helps make your day bright and happy right off the bat. It's wonderful to wake up and say, "Good morning Lord! This is the day that You have made and I will be glad and rejoice in it! " I quite literally wrote that out and put it on my nightstand, and reminded myself until I fell asleep at night that that was the first thing I wanted to think when I woke up. It took quite awhile to happen, but eventually I was able to make that the way I woke up. It became a habit. Of course Satan didn't like that at all, which is why it took awhile before I was able to do it consistently, but it can be done if you persevere and keep at it. It won't help though unless you really mean what you're saying. We can't tell the lord that we will be glad and rejoice in the day He has given us, and then turn around and start grumbling about something. (well, we can start grumbling and often do, but then we have to repent and remember that we said we'd be glad and rejoice in this day lol)
As far as the thoughts about you being ugly, you really need to fight those poisonous thoughts constantly during the day. We don't need the so called beauty of this world. When God created Adam and Eve, they were truly beautiful. I imagine that if we could see what they looked like before they sinned, we would probably think they looked like gods. But sin killed that beauty and turned it into something that isn't real. The world's idea of beauty is a mockery of real beauty. But one day, when we get our new bodies, we will be truly beautiful, just like Adam and Eve were at first. Until then, we can remember what was said about our Lord: “He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.” (Isaiah 53:2)
Here's other translations of the last part of that verse:
KJV 1873 | He hath no form nor comeliness; And when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
NASB95 | He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
NET | he had no stately form or majesty that might catch our attention, no special appearance that we should want to follow him.
NLT | There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him
So if it pleased the Father to not give Jesus anything about his body that we would think of as especially attractive of handsome, or beautiful, then why would we want to have those things for our body now? If an unbeautiful body (for lack of a better word) was good enough for Jesus, shouldn't it be good enough for us? And if we are to be content with what we have, doesn't that include our bodies as well? God created each of our bodies specifically for us to use in this part of our lives, and created our bodies the way they are for a good reason. Who are we to dislike what He created us to look like? Who are we to argue with Him that we would look better or be better if this or that was different? Again, He created us the way He did for a good reason. Just because we don't know the reason doesn't make it not true or not good. We also know that created us the way He did out of His love for us, and knowing exactly what we need and what we could and couldn't handle. So when we put ourselves down or dislike the looks of our current body, it's a slap in His face. We are also told to rejoice and give thanks in all things, and that too includes the body He created for us. So to disapprove of our body, to think it's not right or not good enough in whatever way, is again the opposite of what our reaction should be to the God who loves us. The thoughts about our body not being beautiful or of being ugly are from Satan and are quite literally poisonous thoughts. They get into our minds and corrupt everything they touch. We especially need to take them captive and replace them with words of praise and thanksgiving for the body the Lord has lovingly given us to use. I would strongly suggest that you spend time every day working on this too.
About listening to hymns or worship music. I didn't mean you couldn't do other things at the same time. You could be playing that music while you wash dishes or clean the house or babysit or play your card games or whatever. Sure, it's good as well to really get into it and sing along and praise the Lord and worship Him regularly too, but I was speaking of having praise and worship music or hymns being a part of your daily life. I used to listen to music that was composed around God's Word. They literally sang the bible! It's a great way to memorize verses for one thing and hide them in your heart. But it's also very uplifting. so I listen to that as well as praise and worship and hymns. There honestly isn't any better way to fight off Satan, the world or our flesh! So the more you can do that, the better it will be.
All these things will work together to help you overcome that feeling down in the morning - or any other time for that matter. This too is something I'd strongly suggest that you do regularly. God doesn't ask us to praise Him because He's got an ego problem, or because He needs the praise. He tells us to praise Him because it's something we need in order to be whole and healthy spiritually, emotionally, and even physically.4/17/17
Psalm 51
Wow! This psalm is filled with sooooo much! So many beloved verses.
v. 1 & 2 begging God to have mercy on the psalmist's sins.....something I believe all believers have felt at one time or another, I surely have.
V. 3 & 4 speak about how our sins effect us, but more to the point, how we have sinned against God.....sometimes we might think or I sinned against so and so ( and we did) but ultimately all sins are against the Lord.
v. 5 & 6 explains we were born with a sin nature.....when we see precious little babies it is sometimes easy to be deceived and think they are totally innocent.
For sure they don't have much ability to act at all on their sin nature, but it is there and soon as they gain strength ....think of a 2 year old, it becomes clear we don't have to carefully teach children to be naughty, rather the reverse!
And how many times have we heard, sung, and prayed v. 7
v. 7".........wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."
well v. 8 has that joy word again LOL
in fact it even mentions crushed bones rejoicing!!!
and v. 9 also echo a plea of mine for God to hide His face from my sins ( which He does, because He see Jesus righteousness and not my sins)!
and verses 9-11
are sooooo familiar ( and there is another joy word)
( who knew they were all here in psalm 51....
oh that's right, I know you did :-)
v. 10 "Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
and how many times have we Christians prayed and thought on v. 17
v. 17 "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise."
Having a broken heart over our sins we committed against the Lord ( who suffered for all of them for us....me.....)
He will not despise... but take pity on me and all who have a contrite heart.
I think my application is to write these out and think on them and to find the joy in the fact that the Lord does not despise those who trust Him for their broken hearts over their (my) sins....that I still have.   Here's some notes about the psalm for you, but keep in mind that David wrote this psalm after Nathan confronted him about his sins. I'm including some notes about counseling as I know you counsel others, as well as notes about parenting since you have grandchildren too.
In Psalm 51 David summarized the biblical view of sin. 1st, sin deserves judgment. True confession must begin with an admission of guilt. Second, sin demands cleansing. verse 2. True confession acknowledges the defilement sin causes, and it pleads for God’s cleansing (1 John 1:7, 9). Third, sin is our responsibility. verses 1 and 3. True confession does not blame others for sin. Fourth, all sin is ultimately against God. (v. 4). True confession recognizes God as the supreme Lawgiver. Fifth, sin is part of human nature. verse 5. True confession looks inward for the cause of sin, not to external factors. Strength for today.
True confession requires not only a proper view of sin, but also a proper view of God. David gives us an understanding of four essential truths about God. 1st, God is holy. Affirming God’s omniscience, David declared, “Behold, Thou dost desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part Thou wilt make me know wisdom” (v. 6). David knew that because God is holy, He is never satisfied with mere external behavior. 2nd, God is powerful. (vv. 7–8). David believed God had the power to change him—unlike some who think their sinful habits are too strong for Him to overcome. Third, God will chastise believers for their sins. David pleaded with God, “Let the bones which Thou hast broken rejoice” (v. 8). He alluded to the way shepherds sometimes dealt with wayward sheep. They'd take such troublesome sheep & break one of their legs. Then they'd set the leg & carry the sheep while the leg healed. Afterwards the sheep would remain close to the shepherd. Through this picturesque metaphor, David described God’s chastisement of him for his sin. Fourth, God is a forgiving God. (vv. 9, 14). David obviously believed God would forgive his sin or he would never have asked Him for forgiveness.
True confession involves a proper understanding of oneself. The supreme goal pursued by many in our narcissistic culture is a “healthy” self–esteem. Even Christians have jumped on the self–esteem bandwagon, misconstruing Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 19:19) as a mandate for self–love. But the Bible nowhere commands us to pursue self–esteem; instead, it commands us to be holy (1 Peter 1:16). David gives three reasons why holiness is imperative in the life of every Christian. First, because of unbelievers. David knew he could be a witness for God only if his life was holy. Second, because of God. In verse 14 David acknowledged that only when his life was pure could he praise God. David attested that God desires holiness of life, not conformity to external ritual, in His children. When believers lead holy lives, God is pleased; when they sin, He is dishonored (2 Sam. 12:14). Third, because of other Christians. Believers’ sin always affects, directly or indirectly, other Christians. Strength for today.
Confession involves a rejection of the pattern that was first established in the Garden of Eden. There, Adam and Eve refused to acknowledge their sin, but instead shifted the responsibility to someone else. Confession is saying the same thing that God says about one’s sin. It is to plead guilty to the charges made by conscience. This concept of confession is crucial to biblical counseling. By confession of sin alone may Christians stand right before God. Confession and forgiveness through Christ relieve the pressures which bring about psychosomatic effects of sin. Competent to counsel:
If you want to have a decreasing frequency of sin in your life and an increasing amount of spiritual growth, you must acknowledge your responsibility. Don’t blame your circumstances, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your boss, your employees, or your pastor. Don’t even blame the devil. Your sin is your fault. Certainly the world’s system can contribute to the problem, but sin ultimately occurs as an act of the will—and you are responsible for it. Perhaps one of the best examples of someone who learned how to take responsibility was the prodigal son. When he returned home to his loving father, he said, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son” (Luke 15:21). He was even willing to be treated as a humble laborer because he knew he didn’t deserve anything (v. 19). That is the right attitude of one who confesses sin. Truth for today
David didn't mean to imply that his wrongs against Uriah & Bathsheba could be confessed to God only. His words don't contradict James 5:16. David recognized that he'd done a terrible evil against both. What he was saying was "Lord, I recognize & acknowledge that I've violated your law, not simply man’s law. Against thee—that is, by your standards alone, God—do I judge myself; for against your standards have I sinned. I've violated your holy law. I confess that I'm truly a vile sinner, for my sin is a direct affront to you. What I've done is heinous, for I've violated divine, not human, law. When you pronounced a verdict against me through Nathan, I acknowledged that your verdict was true & I agree with it. Competent to counsel
God’s truth, woven richly into your innermost being, is the foundation for freedom. God wants His truth to sink deep to establish His perfect wisdom in your mind and heart. When you understand the truth of your position in Christ, you understand that you are sealed by the Holy Spirit—that you are secure in the family of God. No act or thought can ever alienate you from the love of God. You no longer have to depend on others or other things for your identity. You belong to Christ; You are His and He is yours. When you understand the truth of your personhood in Christ, your feelings of inferiority can dissolve. You are of infinite worth to God who died on your behalf. It is not your income level or social status that determines your value; it is God’s estimation of your life. You are so valuable to Him that He desires your company for all eternity. When you understand the truth of your possessions in Christ, any incompetency or inadequacy you may feel is overcome. You have everything you need in the indwelling Christ. He makes you adequate for every demand. Enter His gates:
One piece of evidence of kingdom life is that you will see more sin, not less. Outside the kingdom of heaven, there is no concern about sin. Unbelievers are indifferent to the fact that their sin is against God. When you are brought into the kingdom of light, you both see sin and get in a battle with it. The battle means you are alive. The rules of engagement are simple. When you see sin, confess it as ultimately being against God. Respond in gratitude for the forgiveness he already gave you because of Jesus’ death, which was the payment for sins. Knowing that you have been given the Spirit so you can do battle with sin, you attack. Ask for the power to love. Ask others to pray for you and counsel you. Adopt a zero-tolerance policy with sin. When you fall in defeat, learn from it and get right back into the battle. You will see more and more sin, but you will also notice that the Spirit is changing you. There have been times when you responded in humility rather than arrogance, love rather than indifference or even hatred. The change will be gradual but noticeable. Keep your eyes open. How are you different because of what Jesus has done? When you see it, the apostle John says that you can allow that evidence to assure you that you truly belong to God. Heart of the matter
The natural response of forgiveness is to help others by sharing one’s own experience and specifically by counseling others in trouble. Competent to counsel:
One reason why parents fail in their attempts to counsel their children is because parents seldom share their failures with them. The sinning child needs to learn the consequences of failure in concrete ways, the problems failure brings, what to do to avoid failure, & how to deal with failure when it does occur. Mythical legends of parental success don't teach these principles. David strikes an entirely different note, a genuine counseling note. Out of his own sinful failure, David exhorts others to successful obedience. This is painful, as one can readily see in David’s poetic narrative, yet nouthetic concern will move a counselor to share even painful personal experiences whenever such sharing will help another. Notice also the directive nature of David’s counseling. 1st, the verbs “instruct” & “teach” are themselves directive words. They mean “instruct” & “train” or “drill” one in the way in which he is to go. The idea of restructuring another’s life is plainly evident. David went beyond this, saying, “Not only will I teach & drill you, but I'll guide you as well.” The training & instruction will be under David’s supervision. He'll follow the results & make sure that his instructions are being carried out: “I'll keep my eye on you.” Such counseling methods are appropriate only to nouthetic presuppositions. Competent to counsel:
“Deliver me from the guilt of shedding blood, O God” that is, from the consequences of the murder of Uriah. He cried, forgive me, relieve my soul of the burden of this guilt, And my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. O Lord, open thou my lips and my mouth shall show forth thy praise. When forgiveness came, David was so happy that he sang aloud. Such joy—joy that makes one sing—is precisely what people who come for counseling seek. David pointed the way. Many cases can be cited which show exactly the same pattern. Clients who through nouthetic counseling have confessed hidden sin, have entered into happiness such as they had not known for a long time. The reversal of feeling from depression and despair to joy and singing can be sudden and rapid. In one instance a woman who had been trying to escape her responsibility during a difficult problem, when faced with these facts snapped back dramatically after the 2nd session. 2 weeks before, a psychiatrist had prescribed shock therapy. Competent to counsel
It's amazing when you realize how often the bible speaks about people singing to praise or thank the Lord. I think it's mentioned so often because it's so important for us to do in order to have and maintain emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
Before I talk about some of the things you mentioned, I don't want to forget about on first waking up.
All of the things I mentioned and you so lovingly and kindly talked about, but yet still there is an aspect, that is hard to describe......
It truly 'seems' like it does not even involve any thought or thoughts......
It 'appears' to me like a sense of doom, gloom,
sometimes like helpless hopelessness.....
That is before, I cry out to Jesus and/or wrong actual thoughts creep in.
I am pretty sure you will not cotton to my 'theory'....but I have often wondered if ( and honestly this is not from a pity poor me....but a real wondering)
I wonder if because from being a baby to almost 6 and never knowing when the next day would come to be uprooted, leave whatever place and people I was with, to a whole new set.....
that somehow I learned a bad habit of gloom and doom, of lack of trust, and feeling of being unlovable or very bad......and each time it happened and because no one ( at least, I don't remember)
told me it was not the case.....
I not only waited for the next hammer to drop
and
then
I for sure also began to feel sorry for myself,
had pity parties, etc.
So that even when I got to my adopted parents, I still continued in that so much, that eventually,
I didn't want to wake up.....I was afraid and angry, and bitter....
and eventually 'depressed' but the thoughts of 'why' I was afraid etc. went away, and just the gloomy down unhappy to face a morning remained?
Really tho I went to lots of psychs in the past,
none of them were of any help....
it's only been from talking with you and looking at the sin, and from God's perspective and some actual real ways to truly be able to overcome, that I have felt I might have victory over the darkness with Jesus help.
for decades I had no real way of fighting it.....not really because I needed Biblical ways, and God's help.
Even tho I did read, and study to Bible, I don't recall much at other bible studies that specifically dealt with this specific issue....other sins yes,
but not some nebulous nefarious hard to explain,
sense of gloom in the morning...along with all the other things we talked about...physical pain, not being able to do all I hope to accomplish etc etc.
I will do another post for the neat other things you posted because this was kind long winded LOL
I think your theory is probably correct Barbara and I think the Lord led you to realize that. If you remember, we did talk about how past thoughts and feelings can stay with us for a long time and color the way we view things and how we feel. So what you're describing is exactly like that and you explained it very well. Sadly, because you hung on to that for so many years, it may take time for it to go away completely and for you to accept the changes the Lord has made within you, so that the old feeling is replaced with a new good one. It depends on you and the Lord really, and how much time you spend in His Word daily. That's one of the reasons I've constantly mentioned that the more time you spend in His Word, the faster the changes happen, since it's His Word that changes us. In view of what you've told me, I think making a commitment to the Lord to consciously choose to say and believe that "this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it", each morning when you wake up, will eventually help you overcome it. I don't mean it will help by itself, but along with being in His Word daily and talking to Him about it. What do you think? I'm curious too as to why you thought I wouldn't agree with what you thought? You know yourself much better than I ever can and the Lord speaks to you just as He does to me.....
One of the things that occurred to me about your mentioning how pain can effect even the young......was little Liam having major surgery at 4 days old!! I don't know ( but I pray it will be true)
if he will heal and be perfectly fine afterward,
but I wondered since the surgeon said it was like connecting a fire hose to a straw....if he might have digestive problems for awhile or even all his life? maybe you have some insight to set my worries and fears at ease about that?
Anyway, one neat positive thing you said about waking up was that God still has something for us to do.....it may be we can't do much physically, but prayer can be a very powerful thing....and I was thinking being a prayer warrior is quite and honor!!
Another cool thing was you said, Jesus was waiting for us to get up to spend time with us!!!
Wow! What an amazing thought!!!
That is certainly a not gloomy thought....I wish someone had told me that years ago! So thank you so much!!
The reminder that Jesus had no physically 'beauty' was also very helpful!
I wish you could expand on that more also.....about the world's beauty....
You know, it seems to be that even in Christian fiction novels.....the woman and men main characters are 99% beautiful....oh a few don't think they are,
but we soon learn that they are in fact, drop deal gorgeous!!
Not only that, they may have a grandmother who is 'sweet', Godly, kind, quotes scripture and is wise etc. but almost always she is also plump, wrinkled,
grey-haired, ...I understand that is just stating 'facts'.....but why do they always have to put almost more, or a lot, of focus on how old and frumpy, they are?
Couldn't they show more of the beauty you talked about the friend you knew who at first was NOT pretty but within an hour with her, you began to see her as 'beautiful'......as God sees the elderly?
Anyway.....it just seems like the world's standard of beauty is even in Christian novels...novels which in ever other way, have great example of Biblical principals.
Which reminds me....even tho scripture says Jesus was not 'beautiful' almost all paintings depicting him do have him as mostly handsome, strong, manly,
even 'beautiful' in some.....and the same in most movies etc.
I like very much how you explained God did not need our praise....like some egotistical being....WE need to praise...just like prayer is for our benefit....God already know, what we need and everybody else....He allows us the privilege and honor to be able to in some way join with Him and be with Him and communicate with Him.
Oh and it was also so helpful when you said we are not our bodies.
But why do so many people like to look at 'beauty'?
I do know that beauty ( some beautiful people) can be arrogant, cruel, even more self-centered than most, but also, they may be more fearful of losing their beauty so they must spend most of their time on maintaining....
kind the same way if you have a beautiful home and furniture and cars etc.
A person has to spend sooooooo much time on up keep,
that they don't have time to live,
and enjoy their home,
family, friends, etc.
I miss Eva.....its beginning to feel like she isn't coming back....I know she is really probably still struggling mightily with work, and so on.....
A part of me, loves having you all to myself.....but that is selfish and I really do so miss her,
yet I know people have left for one reason or another
and then
in a year so, they are back....
so I need to be patient.
Yes! Praying for others is a very serious and very honorable job! I remember after I got hurt and was beginning to get worse and had to start dropping out of things at church cause I couldn't do them anymore, I was talking about it with one of the elders and told them that as painful as it was to not be able to do the things I used to do at church like being on the worship team etc, that no matter what happened, there was one thing that Satan couldn't take from me and that was my ability to pray. I was absolutely determined that nothing would ever stop that because even if i got so bad that I couldn't get out of bed, I could still pray. And that's what I've done ever since. Although I rarely get out of the house, usually only once a week when we do the shopping, I pray for people I see on the street, or in the store, just whoever the Lord points out to me. I pray for the people I hear about on the news and the people Bruce works with. He tells me all that happens at his job every day, including who's sick, who's having family problems etc. then of course I still pray for you and all the regular members of FH and some that aren't regular members - again, whoever the Lord leads me to pray for. Then there's my neighbors and of course my own family, and the body of Christ in general. And my daughter is always calling me asking me to add people to my prayer list. Even Elijah and Grace ask me to pray for their teachers and friends, so i do. So the list is very long.
Yes, Jesus can't wait for us to wake up and spend time with Him every day. He just loves us so very much! I wanted to ask you before I forget, are you adding the things like this to your notebook so you won't forget them?
Concerning Christian authors and beauty - we have to remember that the authors, like us are also in various stages of their walk with the Lord. None of us is perfect and none of us will be until we get to Heaven. There may well be an author who shows beauty the way God does, but you may not have discovered them yet. I actually have read books where the author showed how a woman who wasn't beautiful according to the world standards, did seem that way to others because of who she was inside. It's hard for us to truly understand godly beauty when all we've been exposed to is earthly or worldly beauty. Plus, just as importantly, remember what the Lord tells us that we will find exactly what we are searching for. if we are searching to find ugliness, then that's what we'll find. If we are searching for beauty, then that's what we'll find. That's true even when we're reading a fiction book. See a lot of what you see as ugliness, others, including me, see as beautiful. If I allowed myself to dwell on it, I'd feel cheated that my hair isn't completely grey and that I don't look like the typical grandmother. I still look like I always have. What you see as ugly, I see as the way grandmas are supposed to look and the way my grandma looked. I little plump, grey hair and yes, even some wrinkles - to me that's grandma and grandma's equal love and love is beautiful. So you see how the way you feel about something colors what you see and think even when reading a fiction book. You see ugliness where others see love and beauty. God calls grey hair a crown, and I can't wait till I get mine! I'm 10 pounds overweight according to the world - well more then that even according to the world, but I don't care what the world says, because I know my Father made my body and it's comfortable at this weight. And besides that, my husband loves me even at this weight, so why should I worry about it? I don't lol. (but I used to before the Lord taught me otherwise)
Worldly beauty is one of the idols that many Americans have, just like others have the idol of money, power or fame. (or all the above) When I see people that the world considers beautiful, I don't see them that way at all. I see the poisonous lies they've accepted and what it's done to them. To me, beautiful is someone without makeup who you can see is innocent of those lies, someone who, like a child, accepts themselves the way the Lord made them and simply enjoys the life they've been given.
4/19/17
Psalm 63
Because I have already blabbed on and on
and
I have an early doc appointment tomorrow I may keep this a bit short
Still I love verse 3..... I know it is the absolute truth.....God's love IS better than life!!
and so another reason for giving Him glory....and in v. 4 for praising Him!!
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,And v. 5 mentions singing...it was funny the other night a for maybe the first time sang to Leonard a refrain of a hymn and he said: "what a nice voice you have"
I was really stunned...I did not think so....I thought, I had the right tempo, timing and correct words.....but nice voice?????
v. 7...there I go....I can sing to Him in the shadow of His wings LOL
In fact, I was thinking ( and later even said to Leonard) well, I think maybe Jesus appreciated my child-like effort at singing a psalm to Him ( and to Leonard)
( it was the "wash me and I will be whiter than snow one)
Maybe in Heaven He will give me a truly lovely voice to sing to Him?
I also am pretty tired because today I had to clean the B& B apt ...a lot of it on my own.....usually Leonard and I do it together.....he did help but he had a ton of things he had to do today
Anyway.....I am tired and achy and have to get up early to go to doc. sooooo
Yes, because His love is better than life is so very true.... we need to always remember that and really know that deep inside.
“My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.” (Psalm 63:5)
Jesus was being accosted by the Tempter—Satan himself—when he cited this passage, “Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”” (Matthew 4:4)
Fittingly, Jesus hadn’t eaten for forty days. No doubt, food was his primary need. But in the midst of near starvation, he said that there was something more important than food: to be strengthened by the Spirit of God as he rested on the very words of the Father. Spiritual food can seem unsatisfying at first, but have you ever had someone say to you, “I love you”? Wouldn’t you gladly pass on a buffet in order to hear such words? In Jesus’ case, this spiritual food was more important than physical life itself. Now we begin to understand how God remains faithful to his promises even when his people go hungry. The physical food points to something better. The apostle Paul often went hungry but he saw absolutely no contradiction between that and God’s generous care for his truest needs. Paul knew that, no matter how well fed, the physical body was inevitably going to die. But a fed spirit is satisfied for this life and the life to come. To make it more personal, if Paul had God, what else did he really need? Heart of the matter
As I was going over my memory verses today, it occurred to me that one of them might be really good for you and so would the verse that comes after it. Let me share them with you and you can decide if they might help you.
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”” (Galatians 2:20–21) When I read those verses, it reminds me that I live for Christ, not myself, and that He is living in me giving me what I need to live this life. The second one reminds me that although I still sin, even though I try not to, it's because righteousness can't be gained by my trying, but only through Christ who lived a perfect life for me. What do you think? Would it help you to remember these?
You can skip to psalm 65 next if you want and we'll just continue from there.
I started a new thread for us since this one is so long now, and copied my reply to that thread for you.
fresh-hope.com/thread/3437/daily-time-lord-2
|
|
. When he has good news to share, instead of saying, "I almost got into a wreck today, but I was lucky and didn't get hit", he says something like, "I almost got into a wreck today, as there was no way to avoid it, but Praise the Lord, He saved me from it! He's so amazing!" Because we know the truth that when something really good happens to us, it's from the Lord, we say so. That's just part of who we are. We're not putting on airs or trying to make ourselves sound spiritual, it's just the way we think, and David's simply saying that He doesn't hide who he is. He praises God when good things happen, and prays for His help when bad things happen, knowing that God is in control. You've told me before that's how you are too, and I've found that the more we allow ourselves to do that, the more we will begin to see the things that God is doing in our lives and in the world around us. 
!!
