Post by Cindy on Feb 21, 2016 12:43:12 GMT -5
Love is the one thing our Lord calls us to do above all else. We're literally to love everyone: family, friends, believers, unbelievers, and even those we may see as our enemies. We often try to limit who we're to love, or limit how we're to love them, but the Lord shows and tells us all through His Word, that there is no limit and that when we do limit our love, it's a sin. Along with His command to love others, goes His command to forgive them, for He knows there will be many times we'll be hurt. Again, there is to be no limit to our forgiveness. We're to forgive others the way He forgives us. We're not to come up with worldly "reasons" why we can't live out His command to love and forgive completely. Instead, we're to trust Him completely and because we love Him, we're to love and forgive others totally and whole heartedly.
One place of many that we can see a picture of how God forgives us in in the parable of the prodigal son. But in reading that parable, something else stood out to me today. There's also a picture in this parable of the horrible consequences of anger. Listen to what the older brother in the parable says: ““The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’” (Luke 15:28–30) It's easy to see the ugly sin of self righteousness of this older brother, but look just how far his anger and resentment took it.... notice that he was so angry that he couldn't even bring himself to say, "my brother", but instead, called him, "this son of yours". What a slap in the Father's face!
This shows us that the older brothers anger isn't something that just happened when his brother returned home. No, his anger had been brewing at least since his brother had taken his part of the inheritance and run off. He had most likely dwelled on it every day when he went out to work on the estate, and fumed inside himself about how his brother was off enjoying himself while he had to work hard every day. We all know how those internal talks to ourselves go. We begin listing all the "good" things we've done and are doing, and everything bad we have ever thought of about the one we're angry at. We tell ourselves that we've got a "right" to be angry at them. As we continue, we tell ourselves, (and any others we can talk to about it) that we've not only got a right to be angry at them, but that it would be wrong not to be angry and show it, for then that brother would probably continue to do all the sinful things he was doing, and we wouldn't want to be accused of enabling them after all! We might even go so far as to say we shouldn't show mercy or give grace because it might undermine their "recovery" from this path of sin they're on. Some will even bring the law into it and use that as a reason. I know we've all heard things like this and much more when we ourselves or someone else is telling us of all the supposedly legitimate reasons they can't love and forgive the way God does "in this case". The reason I say "supposedly legitimate" reasons, is because as far as the world goes, those reasons are perfectly legit. Everyone would totally agree that we're right to be angry and stay angry. The problem arises though because we are not of the world, we belong to God and He commands us to love and forgive regardless of what the world says, or does, and regardless of how we feel about it.
Let's look though at what this anger did to the older brother in our Lord's story. We know that the older brother was a picture of the Pharisees, who hated Jesus at this point. (This was being told toward the end of him ministry) Just knowing that, and knowing what our Lord thought of their actions in general should be enough to make us very uncomfortable, don't you think? Jesus was showing them what their hatred was doing. For one thing, it was blinding them to everything good that they had. This brother had his inheritance already too. He received it at the same time his brother did. The Father in the story tells us that: ““ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” (Luke 15:31) His inheritance as the older brother would have been 2/3rds of the estate, literally twice as much as the younger brother got! He already had it and could have been enjoying it daily all this time, but instead, he'd focused on his brother and what he didn't have! Remember what he told his father? "All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders." He saw all that he did on his own estate, his own inheritance as literally slavery! He felt he wasn't getting enough of a reward for his efforts. I don't know what kind of work was needed on the estate, but let's say he went out and worked daily, like any responsible owner would, like his father had for many, many years before so that he could pass it down to his sons. But instead of enjoying the fruits of his labor, be it the income or simply the joy of a job well done, or the knowledge that what he was doing would increase his holdings and he in turn would be able to pass it on to his sons, he focused on what he felt he wasn't able to do. He wanted to do what his younger brother was doing. What's sad is that he actually could have had parties or whatever he wanted, but he never so much as mentioned it to anyone. He never suggested that it was something he might like to have or do. I guess, like so many of us, he figured everyone else was supposed to be able to read his mind!
Why didn't he suggest it, or plan a party himself? He didn't do those things because it never occurred to him. You don't think of doing pleasant things when you're hurt and angry, and this young man was very hurt and angry. More then that, he was just plain bitter. Bitter people don't have fun, they don't laugh, they don't see anything as "good" or as "fun". They don't see the bright side of anything. When we allow ourselves to dwell on a hurt or anger so long that it becomes bitterness (and it doesn't take very long for that to happen!) it colors how we see everyone and everything else. Literally. While he may have started out only being angry at his brother, it soon evolved into anger at his father, and everyone else, even himself, though he may not have realized that.
When we become bitter about something or toward someone, it colors everything, so that we begin to hear the things other people say to us differently and see the things they do differently. Instead of taking their words literally, like we normally always would have, we begin to hear negative things in what they say and see the negative in what they do; we hear distrust, dislike, displeasure, etc. when there is nothing of the sort in it at all. Our thinking becomes more and more corrupted by our anger and bitterness, until eventually anyone who doesn't agree with us 101% must therefore hate us, and those who say they do agree, most likely don't really, because we really can't trust anyone anymore.
Worst of all, in the story our Lord told, was that his anger and bitterness affected his relationship with his Father. The relationship became strained. Nothing at all on the Father's part made it so. If you read the story, you see the Father pleading with his son to see things as they really are, to see His love for him too. He tells his boy, "everything I have is yours!" (Luke 15:31) Remember, this isn't just a story, we're really talking about our Heavenly Father here! The Father wanted his boy to have it all. It was all there for the taking, but he wouldn't take and enjoy it because of his anger and bitterness. He was in fact a slave himself. A slave to his own anger. John explained it to us this way: “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.” (1 John 2:9–11) Paul tells us that anger and bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit. He says: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:30–32) When you read what Paul said to get rid of so as not to grieve the Holy Spirit, notice that they all have to do with anger in some form. Anger prevents us from having and enjoying a close relationship with our Father in Heaven. Paul tells us not to grieve the Holy Spirit, and in the parable we see that the older brother grieved the Father. Both are God and God dwells within us. There's one last thing about anger that really scares me. Jesus warns us that just as looking at a woman or man lustfully is the same thing as adultery, so anger can be the same as murder! (Matthew 5:21–22).
We need to really reflect on all of that and on all God's Word says about it, because it's very important to our well being. Angry people are not happy people. They can't be. Nor can they be at peace with themselves, or with God. Anger steals our happiness, our peace, our joy, (which is our strength) our fellowship, our usefulness in the church, and our humility since we can't very well be angry and humble thinking others as more important then ourselves at the same time.
There's only one way out of the trap our anger gets us into, and that's to forgive and love the person the way God forgives and loves us. It's so important to God that we love and forgive like He does, that He tells us that if we realize we holding something against another, or that someone has something against us, that we're to go be reconciled to them even before we come to worship Him! (Matthew 5:23–26) He further tells us that if we don't forgive others, then God won't forgive us. (Matthew 6:14–15) This isn't talking about forgiving us for our salvation, but rather removing the regular daily sin so we can have a close relationship with Him. That's what happened between the Father and elder son in the parable. Their relationship was strained because the older brother wouldn't forgive the younger, and until he did, his whole world wouldn't be right because his relationship with his Father wasn't right. What's sad is that most often we don't even realize that our relationship with the Father has been strained due to our anger at another. Just because we don't realize it though, doesn't mean it's not so.
I know I can easily look into my past and see how this has happened to me and I know for sure that I don't ever want to have it happen again! Now, when I see/hear others who are in a similar situation of unforgiveness, it breaks my heart because I know how unhappy they really are and I know they won't ever be happy until they really forgive that person. Often however, the person will adamantly insist that they have forgiven the one they're angry/hurt at. Yet we know they really haven't because they're still telling their sad tale of what was done to them. Every time they do that, they're showing that they haven't forgiven them at all, because part of the way God forgives us is by never bringing our sin up against us again. He "forgets" our sins against Him and that's what He tells us to do for others as well. I hope and pray that whenever we see anger in ourselves, we'll do as the Lord tells us and not allow the sun to go down on our wrath. In other words, take care of it immediately, and be reconciled with that person. God never commands us to do anything that He doesn't also enable us to do. All we have to do is ask Him and then obey Him, trusting Him to do His part.
For any who aren't sure how to forgive the Lord's way, this article may be helpful to you: Forgiving & Forgetting The Lord's Way
One place of many that we can see a picture of how God forgives us in in the parable of the prodigal son. But in reading that parable, something else stood out to me today. There's also a picture in this parable of the horrible consequences of anger. Listen to what the older brother in the parable says: ““The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’” (Luke 15:28–30) It's easy to see the ugly sin of self righteousness of this older brother, but look just how far his anger and resentment took it.... notice that he was so angry that he couldn't even bring himself to say, "my brother", but instead, called him, "this son of yours". What a slap in the Father's face!
This shows us that the older brothers anger isn't something that just happened when his brother returned home. No, his anger had been brewing at least since his brother had taken his part of the inheritance and run off. He had most likely dwelled on it every day when he went out to work on the estate, and fumed inside himself about how his brother was off enjoying himself while he had to work hard every day. We all know how those internal talks to ourselves go. We begin listing all the "good" things we've done and are doing, and everything bad we have ever thought of about the one we're angry at. We tell ourselves that we've got a "right" to be angry at them. As we continue, we tell ourselves, (and any others we can talk to about it) that we've not only got a right to be angry at them, but that it would be wrong not to be angry and show it, for then that brother would probably continue to do all the sinful things he was doing, and we wouldn't want to be accused of enabling them after all! We might even go so far as to say we shouldn't show mercy or give grace because it might undermine their "recovery" from this path of sin they're on. Some will even bring the law into it and use that as a reason. I know we've all heard things like this and much more when we ourselves or someone else is telling us of all the supposedly legitimate reasons they can't love and forgive the way God does "in this case". The reason I say "supposedly legitimate" reasons, is because as far as the world goes, those reasons are perfectly legit. Everyone would totally agree that we're right to be angry and stay angry. The problem arises though because we are not of the world, we belong to God and He commands us to love and forgive regardless of what the world says, or does, and regardless of how we feel about it.
Let's look though at what this anger did to the older brother in our Lord's story. We know that the older brother was a picture of the Pharisees, who hated Jesus at this point. (This was being told toward the end of him ministry) Just knowing that, and knowing what our Lord thought of their actions in general should be enough to make us very uncomfortable, don't you think? Jesus was showing them what their hatred was doing. For one thing, it was blinding them to everything good that they had. This brother had his inheritance already too. He received it at the same time his brother did. The Father in the story tells us that: ““ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” (Luke 15:31) His inheritance as the older brother would have been 2/3rds of the estate, literally twice as much as the younger brother got! He already had it and could have been enjoying it daily all this time, but instead, he'd focused on his brother and what he didn't have! Remember what he told his father? "All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders." He saw all that he did on his own estate, his own inheritance as literally slavery! He felt he wasn't getting enough of a reward for his efforts. I don't know what kind of work was needed on the estate, but let's say he went out and worked daily, like any responsible owner would, like his father had for many, many years before so that he could pass it down to his sons. But instead of enjoying the fruits of his labor, be it the income or simply the joy of a job well done, or the knowledge that what he was doing would increase his holdings and he in turn would be able to pass it on to his sons, he focused on what he felt he wasn't able to do. He wanted to do what his younger brother was doing. What's sad is that he actually could have had parties or whatever he wanted, but he never so much as mentioned it to anyone. He never suggested that it was something he might like to have or do. I guess, like so many of us, he figured everyone else was supposed to be able to read his mind!
Why didn't he suggest it, or plan a party himself? He didn't do those things because it never occurred to him. You don't think of doing pleasant things when you're hurt and angry, and this young man was very hurt and angry. More then that, he was just plain bitter. Bitter people don't have fun, they don't laugh, they don't see anything as "good" or as "fun". They don't see the bright side of anything. When we allow ourselves to dwell on a hurt or anger so long that it becomes bitterness (and it doesn't take very long for that to happen!) it colors how we see everyone and everything else. Literally. While he may have started out only being angry at his brother, it soon evolved into anger at his father, and everyone else, even himself, though he may not have realized that.
When we become bitter about something or toward someone, it colors everything, so that we begin to hear the things other people say to us differently and see the things they do differently. Instead of taking their words literally, like we normally always would have, we begin to hear negative things in what they say and see the negative in what they do; we hear distrust, dislike, displeasure, etc. when there is nothing of the sort in it at all. Our thinking becomes more and more corrupted by our anger and bitterness, until eventually anyone who doesn't agree with us 101% must therefore hate us, and those who say they do agree, most likely don't really, because we really can't trust anyone anymore.
Worst of all, in the story our Lord told, was that his anger and bitterness affected his relationship with his Father. The relationship became strained. Nothing at all on the Father's part made it so. If you read the story, you see the Father pleading with his son to see things as they really are, to see His love for him too. He tells his boy, "everything I have is yours!" (Luke 15:31) Remember, this isn't just a story, we're really talking about our Heavenly Father here! The Father wanted his boy to have it all. It was all there for the taking, but he wouldn't take and enjoy it because of his anger and bitterness. He was in fact a slave himself. A slave to his own anger. John explained it to us this way: “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.” (1 John 2:9–11) Paul tells us that anger and bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit. He says: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:30–32) When you read what Paul said to get rid of so as not to grieve the Holy Spirit, notice that they all have to do with anger in some form. Anger prevents us from having and enjoying a close relationship with our Father in Heaven. Paul tells us not to grieve the Holy Spirit, and in the parable we see that the older brother grieved the Father. Both are God and God dwells within us. There's one last thing about anger that really scares me. Jesus warns us that just as looking at a woman or man lustfully is the same thing as adultery, so anger can be the same as murder! (Matthew 5:21–22).
We need to really reflect on all of that and on all God's Word says about it, because it's very important to our well being. Angry people are not happy people. They can't be. Nor can they be at peace with themselves, or with God. Anger steals our happiness, our peace, our joy, (which is our strength) our fellowship, our usefulness in the church, and our humility since we can't very well be angry and humble thinking others as more important then ourselves at the same time.
There's only one way out of the trap our anger gets us into, and that's to forgive and love the person the way God forgives and loves us. It's so important to God that we love and forgive like He does, that He tells us that if we realize we holding something against another, or that someone has something against us, that we're to go be reconciled to them even before we come to worship Him! (Matthew 5:23–26) He further tells us that if we don't forgive others, then God won't forgive us. (Matthew 6:14–15) This isn't talking about forgiving us for our salvation, but rather removing the regular daily sin so we can have a close relationship with Him. That's what happened between the Father and elder son in the parable. Their relationship was strained because the older brother wouldn't forgive the younger, and until he did, his whole world wouldn't be right because his relationship with his Father wasn't right. What's sad is that most often we don't even realize that our relationship with the Father has been strained due to our anger at another. Just because we don't realize it though, doesn't mean it's not so.
I know I can easily look into my past and see how this has happened to me and I know for sure that I don't ever want to have it happen again! Now, when I see/hear others who are in a similar situation of unforgiveness, it breaks my heart because I know how unhappy they really are and I know they won't ever be happy until they really forgive that person. Often however, the person will adamantly insist that they have forgiven the one they're angry/hurt at. Yet we know they really haven't because they're still telling their sad tale of what was done to them. Every time they do that, they're showing that they haven't forgiven them at all, because part of the way God forgives us is by never bringing our sin up against us again. He "forgets" our sins against Him and that's what He tells us to do for others as well. I hope and pray that whenever we see anger in ourselves, we'll do as the Lord tells us and not allow the sun to go down on our wrath. In other words, take care of it immediately, and be reconciled with that person. God never commands us to do anything that He doesn't also enable us to do. All we have to do is ask Him and then obey Him, trusting Him to do His part.
For any who aren't sure how to forgive the Lord's way, this article may be helpful to you: Forgiving & Forgetting The Lord's Way
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