Post by Cindy on Nov 19, 2015 11:21:37 GMT -5
I've been asked this a number of times over the years, and asked the Lord that very same question myself. Often when we ask that question it's because someone has hurt us and we want to know if we really have to love that person. When I first started studying this,I thought maybe we only had to love other Christians, but then the Lord reminded me that we're to love our enemies as well. While I was still dealing with that, He also showed me the story about the good Samaritan and his command to love our neighbor. I remember feeling exasperated and saying, "you mean we have to love everyone?" His answer to that of course was "Yes" and then He proceeded to teach me why we're to love everyone, and how we're to love them. As if it wasn't hard enough to simply say we loved them, He also commands us to show that love both publicly and in our private lives. He tells us that our words are very important, and we need to be sure that our words toward everyone are loving, but that it's also important that we act on our love. In other words, words aren't enough. He tells us we're to pray for our enemies, but prayer isn't enough either. We're also to show our enemies the love of Christ. We're to show that kind of love to everyone at all times, whether the person has hurt us or not.
We couldn't do it at all if we had not been saved and the Lord hadn't poured His love into our hearts. It's also totally impossible for us to do without the Lord's help and indwelling. That's why the Lord said that others would know we belonged to Him by our love. It's what made the first Christians so very different from the rest of the world. Yet we see very little of this today. We not only don't see Christians loving their enemies, we often don't even see them loving fellow Christians either. We even see the lack of Christ's love in Christian families today.
If we want to see what God's love looks like, we need to go to 1 Cor 13 for starters. That's a very good definition of it. We can also look at the life of Jesus and see how He loved others, including us. All we have to do is remember that He loved us when we were still His enemy. We didn't just not know about Him, nor were we just acquaintances, we were literally His enemy when He first loved us. Think about what an enemy is for a minute to realize just what we were when our Lord first loved us. An enemy is someone who hates you and wants to hurt you or even kill you; they want to destroy everything you care about, so if you're "for" something, your enemy is going to be against it. And they're not going to be against it just in words, but also in deeds. That's who we were when Jesus first loved us. He commands us to love others the very same way. No matter how much they've hurt us, we're to love them with His love and we're to show them that love in deeds. Obviously, this requires a lot of forgiveness, but then didn't our Lord forgive us completely? Did Jesus withhold His love from us because of our sins against Him? Then how can we withhold our love from others because they've hurt us? We can't. Forgiving and Forgetting the Lord's way isn't easy, but we can do it with His help. We've already discussed that on this thread though, so I won't get into that here.
It must break the Lord's heart to see the lack of love from those who belong to Him. And when we really think about it, aren't we withholding our love for really petty things? One of the big reasons we often see if that we want to be "right". We want the other person to admit that we're right and they're wrong and we want them to feel badly that they were wrong and/or that they treated us badly because of it. One of the very worst things we can do when we've been hurt or when we're angry at someone is to withdraw from them. That's the exact opposite of what Jesus tells us to do and is exactly what Satan wants us to do. Sadly, we see this all the time though, where one of the offended parties will simply walk away, or will refuse to talk to the other, often dropping the other person from their life entirely. Satan rejoices when this happens because he's been allowed to destroy that relationship and prevent that person from fulling abiding in Christ. The person has put a barrier between them and the Lord because they're not loving others the way Jesus tells us to. When we do that, the Lord tells us that then He will have to judge us the same way we've judged them. I don't know about you, but I sure don't want Him to judge me that way! Far better to forgive and forget and just cover their sin with love then to have anything come between me and the Lord or to have Him judge me the way I've treated others I was angry with or hurt by!
We also fall into the trap of telling ourselves that we do love that person we have the problems with, but because of what they did or said, we can't be around them or let them into our life. But that's not how Jesus tells us to love is it? I think we know deep down that we're fooling ourselves when we do that. Or it could be said that we love them, but they don't love us so there's nothing we can do about it. That too is often a cop out and yet another way of deceiving ourselves or trying to anyway. Or maybe we're just trying to get out of doing what the Lord tells us to do. God isn't unreasonable though. He doesn't really ask the impossible from us although at times it may seem that way. He tells us that we're to live at peace with others as far as it depends on us. In other words, our words and actions are to come from a place of love, no matter what. If the other person refuses to speak to us, or runs away from us, then they will be judged for it, but we should not turn away from them! We should reach out to them whenever we can with love, whether it's a phone call, a gift, or the offer of a helping hand. If they reject it, so be it, but we still love. If they block every attempt we make to communicate with them, then again, they will be judged for it, but at least we can rest easy knowing we've done and are doing all we can to obey the Lord and love the way He does. It's very hard to keep loving and keep giving of ourselves when we feel it's constantly rejected by someone. What helps me keep going is when I remember all the times I rejected my Lord before I was saved, and all the ways He loved me anyway. So we have to continue to show the love of Christ to all the people He's put in our lives, no matter how they react to it.
If we take a look at the life of our Lord, we see something really amazing. Something we rarely think about. At least I rarely did. Think about Judas, who betrayed the Lord. Jesus knew that he would betray Him. He knew it when He chose Judas. Jesus didn't make a mistake choosing him, He chose him on purpose. Judas walked and lived with Jesus for 3 years. Judas preached the gospel and even worked miracles in our Lord's name during that time, just like the other disciples. None of the other disciples had any reason to suspect that Judas was any different then they were. There's not the slightest hint from any of them or from the Lord anywhere in the New Testament until just minutes before Judas went to actually do the deed itself. All during those 3 years, Jesus loved Judas, and showed him His love just as He did to all the other disciples. Even then, at the last supper, Jesus did not give away who would betray Him to the other disciples. Not only that, but Jesus offered him forgiveness and salvation again that very night, but he chose not to accept it, and instead embraced the darkness. What an amazing picture of love Jesus showed us!
When you read the New Testament you find that the way we treat others is a reflection of our relationship with the Lord. Really think about that for a moment. We can't just pick and choose and say, "well I treat these people really well, so I must be OK with the Lord", when there's another person or group that you're not getting along with at all. I know.... it sounds impossible doesn't it? How can we be in a loving relationship with everyone we know? Only by abiding in Christ, and relying on Him. There is no other way that will work. That does not mean that everyone will love us and treat us with love though. Again, look at how Judas responded to the love of Christ in his life. But Jesus never pushed him away, never showed anything to him but love, and that's how He wants us to behave. Sure, others may not accept our love. Some may run away; some may block us from any attempt to communicate our love for them; some may respond with out right venom and spite and try to make things more difficult for us. But as far as it depends on us, we're to love others and live in peace with them. The Lord knows that problems will arise in relationships, and He left us very explicit instructions on how to deal with those problems. We covered some of them in Forgiving and Forgetting the Lord's way, as a starting point. But if you're in doubt about how to handle a relationship problem in your life, turn to the Lord in prayer and study His Word for His answers.
In 1 John 2, John tells us that if we love the Lord we'll obey His commands. Next he reminds us of the Lord's command to love others, and illustrates what it looks like when we do and don't obey that command. In 3 John he really nails it down for us: “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:14–18) Let me leave you with some more from 1 John about this:
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:8–12)
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.” (1 John 4:16–17)
We couldn't do it at all if we had not been saved and the Lord hadn't poured His love into our hearts. It's also totally impossible for us to do without the Lord's help and indwelling. That's why the Lord said that others would know we belonged to Him by our love. It's what made the first Christians so very different from the rest of the world. Yet we see very little of this today. We not only don't see Christians loving their enemies, we often don't even see them loving fellow Christians either. We even see the lack of Christ's love in Christian families today.
If we want to see what God's love looks like, we need to go to 1 Cor 13 for starters. That's a very good definition of it. We can also look at the life of Jesus and see how He loved others, including us. All we have to do is remember that He loved us when we were still His enemy. We didn't just not know about Him, nor were we just acquaintances, we were literally His enemy when He first loved us. Think about what an enemy is for a minute to realize just what we were when our Lord first loved us. An enemy is someone who hates you and wants to hurt you or even kill you; they want to destroy everything you care about, so if you're "for" something, your enemy is going to be against it. And they're not going to be against it just in words, but also in deeds. That's who we were when Jesus first loved us. He commands us to love others the very same way. No matter how much they've hurt us, we're to love them with His love and we're to show them that love in deeds. Obviously, this requires a lot of forgiveness, but then didn't our Lord forgive us completely? Did Jesus withhold His love from us because of our sins against Him? Then how can we withhold our love from others because they've hurt us? We can't. Forgiving and Forgetting the Lord's way isn't easy, but we can do it with His help. We've already discussed that on this thread though, so I won't get into that here.
It must break the Lord's heart to see the lack of love from those who belong to Him. And when we really think about it, aren't we withholding our love for really petty things? One of the big reasons we often see if that we want to be "right". We want the other person to admit that we're right and they're wrong and we want them to feel badly that they were wrong and/or that they treated us badly because of it. One of the very worst things we can do when we've been hurt or when we're angry at someone is to withdraw from them. That's the exact opposite of what Jesus tells us to do and is exactly what Satan wants us to do. Sadly, we see this all the time though, where one of the offended parties will simply walk away, or will refuse to talk to the other, often dropping the other person from their life entirely. Satan rejoices when this happens because he's been allowed to destroy that relationship and prevent that person from fulling abiding in Christ. The person has put a barrier between them and the Lord because they're not loving others the way Jesus tells us to. When we do that, the Lord tells us that then He will have to judge us the same way we've judged them. I don't know about you, but I sure don't want Him to judge me that way! Far better to forgive and forget and just cover their sin with love then to have anything come between me and the Lord or to have Him judge me the way I've treated others I was angry with or hurt by!
We also fall into the trap of telling ourselves that we do love that person we have the problems with, but because of what they did or said, we can't be around them or let them into our life. But that's not how Jesus tells us to love is it? I think we know deep down that we're fooling ourselves when we do that. Or it could be said that we love them, but they don't love us so there's nothing we can do about it. That too is often a cop out and yet another way of deceiving ourselves or trying to anyway. Or maybe we're just trying to get out of doing what the Lord tells us to do. God isn't unreasonable though. He doesn't really ask the impossible from us although at times it may seem that way. He tells us that we're to live at peace with others as far as it depends on us. In other words, our words and actions are to come from a place of love, no matter what. If the other person refuses to speak to us, or runs away from us, then they will be judged for it, but we should not turn away from them! We should reach out to them whenever we can with love, whether it's a phone call, a gift, or the offer of a helping hand. If they reject it, so be it, but we still love. If they block every attempt we make to communicate with them, then again, they will be judged for it, but at least we can rest easy knowing we've done and are doing all we can to obey the Lord and love the way He does. It's very hard to keep loving and keep giving of ourselves when we feel it's constantly rejected by someone. What helps me keep going is when I remember all the times I rejected my Lord before I was saved, and all the ways He loved me anyway. So we have to continue to show the love of Christ to all the people He's put in our lives, no matter how they react to it.
If we take a look at the life of our Lord, we see something really amazing. Something we rarely think about. At least I rarely did. Think about Judas, who betrayed the Lord. Jesus knew that he would betray Him. He knew it when He chose Judas. Jesus didn't make a mistake choosing him, He chose him on purpose. Judas walked and lived with Jesus for 3 years. Judas preached the gospel and even worked miracles in our Lord's name during that time, just like the other disciples. None of the other disciples had any reason to suspect that Judas was any different then they were. There's not the slightest hint from any of them or from the Lord anywhere in the New Testament until just minutes before Judas went to actually do the deed itself. All during those 3 years, Jesus loved Judas, and showed him His love just as He did to all the other disciples. Even then, at the last supper, Jesus did not give away who would betray Him to the other disciples. Not only that, but Jesus offered him forgiveness and salvation again that very night, but he chose not to accept it, and instead embraced the darkness. What an amazing picture of love Jesus showed us!
When you read the New Testament you find that the way we treat others is a reflection of our relationship with the Lord. Really think about that for a moment. We can't just pick and choose and say, "well I treat these people really well, so I must be OK with the Lord", when there's another person or group that you're not getting along with at all. I know.... it sounds impossible doesn't it? How can we be in a loving relationship with everyone we know? Only by abiding in Christ, and relying on Him. There is no other way that will work. That does not mean that everyone will love us and treat us with love though. Again, look at how Judas responded to the love of Christ in his life. But Jesus never pushed him away, never showed anything to him but love, and that's how He wants us to behave. Sure, others may not accept our love. Some may run away; some may block us from any attempt to communicate our love for them; some may respond with out right venom and spite and try to make things more difficult for us. But as far as it depends on us, we're to love others and live in peace with them. The Lord knows that problems will arise in relationships, and He left us very explicit instructions on how to deal with those problems. We covered some of them in Forgiving and Forgetting the Lord's way, as a starting point. But if you're in doubt about how to handle a relationship problem in your life, turn to the Lord in prayer and study His Word for His answers.
In 1 John 2, John tells us that if we love the Lord we'll obey His commands. Next he reminds us of the Lord's command to love others, and illustrates what it looks like when we do and don't obey that command. In 3 John he really nails it down for us: “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:14–18) Let me leave you with some more from 1 John about this:
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:8–12)
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.” (1 John 4:16–17)
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