Post by Cindy on Apr 20, 2015 13:06:13 GMT -5
Developing Healthy Self-Esteem
By Rodney J. Buchanan
Jeremiah 1:4-1:10
In the Scripture reading today, we hear the Lord saying to Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” It seems that when most people think of God coming to them and saying something, they think of him saying something about what is wrong with them. They often associate the voice of God with a guilty conscience. But, more often, the voice of God comes to announce our extraordinary worth to God and his plan to use us. This personal worth is inseparably tied to the fact that we were made by God. And our worth to God started before we were born. We have worth because we were born in the mind of God before we even entered our mother’s womb. We were valuable to God before the world began — because already we had begun in his mind and imagination. We are the product of his creativity and love. That is something that can never change or ever be taken away from us — indeed, it is the only thing we cannot lose.
What concerns me about the way we talk of self-esteem today is that it seems to be tied to our abilities. We tell children: “You can be whatever you choose to be!” Of course, this is not true. If I spent 12 hours a day practicing the piano I could never play like Joanna or Linda. I could never play the guitar like Jeremy. I will never be able to paint like Rissie Strayer. I will never be able to comprehend mathematical science like John Noonan. I will never be able to run like David Overholt — regardless of how many hours I would train. There are many things I cannot do, and the things I can do are often not as good as other people can do them. That reality dawns on children sooner than later, and so the questions is: Then what? The truth is, you can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be. That is where your identity and self-esteem must be grounded or it will eventually fall apart.
The American culture places extreme value on outer appearance. We value youth, beauty, athletic ability, intelligence, education, wealth and fame. But what happens when you have it all and lose it. What happens when Superman becomes a wheelchair man? What happens when a supermodel gains some super weight or gets super old? What happens when a super intelligent person has a stroke? What happens when a superstar ends up in jail or addicted to drugs? What happens when you have a super career and lose it? What then? Where do you get your feelings of esteem and personal worth, when everything on which you have based your value has vanished?
In this passage from Jeremiah, the first thing I see is: An accurate view of yourself comes from an understanding of God’s view of who you are. When God told Jeremiah that he valued him and had plans to use his life, Jeremiah protested that he was only a child and could not possibly be of value to God. But the Lord said, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you” (Jeremiah 1:6-7). God had plans for Jeremiah that Jeremiah could not understand. Jeremiah saw himself as having no value, but God saw him as having great value. His value was not how he saw himself, or even how others saw him. His value was in how God saw him. You may not seem like much in your own estimation, but it is who you are in God’s eyes that matters. The kind of self-esteem that says, “I’m worth something because I am doing well and others look up to me” is a black hole from which many people never escape. If your feelings of self-worth are based on how you see yourself, or how others see you, then you are hooked to the wrong star. You will spend your life climbing the ladder of success only to find it was leaning against the wrong building.
If you take a tour through the Developmental Center (for the developmentally disabled and mentally retarded) here in town you will see many individuals who cannot get out of bed by themselves, let alone go to school or play sports. Many of them have never been able to contribute anything to society and never will — they are totally dependent on society to take care of them. Many cannot speak. They are not physically attractive. They will never have a relationship except with their caretakers. They will never earn an income. They cannot control their bodily functions. Of what value are they? According to the Scripture they are of inestimable worth to God. They are as much a part of his creation as a the doctors, nurses and aides who take care of them. Their worth to society is the very fact that they dependent on society. They are God’s gift to us. God is teaching us the value of taking care of people who can never return the favor in any way. And yet, those who work with them can tell you that they receive a great deal from these people. God is showing us the value of human life when life is all these individuals have. God has said, “For every living soul belongs to me” (Ezekiel 18:4).
The Bible says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Your life has value because you were created in the image of God, regardless of what you are able, or unable, to do. Your life finds meaning only in a relationship with the God in whose image you were created. He has a purpose and plan for your life that is different from every other person who was ever created. He says, “I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11). You are so important to him that, as Jesus said, “the very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Luke 12:7).
The second thing I see in this passage from Jeremiah is: An accurate view of yourself comes from knowing the truth about who you are. The truth was that Jeremiah was only a child in his experience and understanding. According to the world’s standards he had nothing to offer. If it had not been for God putting his words in Jeremiah’s mouth, he would have had nothing to say. But because God had created him, as he has all of us, for a special purpose, God did not want him to disparage himself. He said to Jeremiah, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’”
There is good news and bad news here. The bad news is: We are nothing without God. But the good news is: With God we are something special. There is eternal significance to our lives. In the beginning, the Bible says, “God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being” (Genesis 2:7). Good news and bad news. We were made from dirt, but God breathed his life into us. We understand that Jesus said, “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). But we also understand that Paul was correct when he said, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). The truth is that without God we are nothing, but with him we are everything. If we remain in him our lives will produce much fruit. We understand the truth that we are sinners, for the Bible says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). But we also understand that we, “are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:24). The apostle Paul catalogues a long list of sins prevalent in the world, and then says, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11). We are, at the same time, sinners and those who are loved and valued by God. The Bible says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Peter tells God’s truth about us when he writes, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). The truth about us is this: “Now if we are children, then we are heirs — heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:17). We were made for the glory of God, and that is where our self-esteem should come.
The third thing I see in this passage from Jeremiah is: An accurate view of yourself comes from a humble view of who you are. Throughout his life, Jeremiah maintained a sense of humility. He did not see God’s calling on his life as something about which he could feel superior. Even Jesus did not exalt himself. The Bible says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant. . .” (Philippians 2:5-7). Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Self esteem comes from humility, not pride, for God has said, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word” (Isaiah 66:2). We are actually seeking God’s esteem, not self-esteem.
The way some talk about self-esteem, it almost sounds like it is good to feel proud and superior to others. What happens when you have great self-esteem and your evaluation of yourself is inaccurate? There are those who see themselves as very attractive physically, but are not. There are those who think of themselves as very intelligent, but who destroy their lives with their foolishness. What happens when you have very good feelings about yourself, but you are a very bad person. We seem to have a steady dose of politicians who have this particular problem. Their over-rated self-worth is a delusion. The Bible says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).And again, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).
How much better to say with Paul, “But by the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Corinthians 15:10). The Bible says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). The point is that the focus is off of yourself. Inferiority is just another form of pride. It is feeling bad that you are not as good or better than others. Pride is a matter of being self-focused. A person who feels constantly inferior is merely someone who is focused upon themselves. As we grow in God, we turn the focus away from ourselves and we focus upon God. We focus on the gifts of others and we rejoice with them for what God has given them. There will always be someone who can do what we do better than we can do it, but we continue to do what God has called us to do. If God has given you something you can do, do it with all your might. The Bible says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23-24). Don’t worry about what you can’t do, concentrate on what you can do. Don’t worry about whether it is as good as someone else can do it, do the best you can do. What if only very best tennis player would enter the contest. What if no one else would come to Wimbledon because they knew they were not the top seed? What if only the best preachers preached? This pulpit would be empty here today. What if only the best singer sang? What if only the wealthiest person gave? What if only the best teacher taught?
We are to be full of confidence, because God has made us and has called us to serve him. There is no one else like you in the world — God has seen to that. No one else has your particular personality and gifts. You look the way you do, because that is the way he wanted you to look. You have exactly the amount of potential intelligence and ability as he planned for you to have. There will always be someone with more than you have, but there will never be anyone exactly like you. You are his gift to the world, exactly as you are. You can throw down his gifts to you, or you can pick up those abilities and develop them to the full. You can try to live in your own strength, or you can lean upon his strength for the full development of what he has given you.
What I am trying to say is this: One day your looks will change. Your abilities will diminish. You will not be able to think or remember as you once did. You may lose friends or even lose your spouse. What then? On what will you base your self-esteem? If your self-esteem is based on your looks, intelligence, education, youth, or abilities then your self-esteem will be shattered. The only thing that will last — the only thing that no one can take from you — is your relationship with God and your value to him. All your feelings about yourself, others, and life must come from him or you will live in disillusionment and despair. This relationship will guide you in your youth and sustain you later in life as well. It will provide you with the meaning and fulfillment that only God can give.
The story is told of an American tourist in Paris who picked up an amber necklace in a trinket shop. When he arrived at New York and went through customs he was shocked at the high duty he had to pay. When he came home, he had the necklace appraised, and the jeweler told him he would give $25,000 for the necklace. He was stunned and suspected that there was a reason for the offer. He took the necklace to an expert who appraised it at an astronomical amount. When he asked the appraiser what made the necklace so valuable, he told him to look into the magnifying glass and see for himself. When he placed his eye next to the glass, he saw an inscription which read: “From Napoleon Bonaparte to Josephine.” It was the name on the necklace that gave it extraordinary worth.
Inscribed on your life is the name of your Owner. He has made you with his own hands and written his name across your life. Your value is found in that inscription. You belong to him and he wants to use your life. He has made you and your are his. You are unique. You are special because you are special to him. No one else can take your place in his heart. And neither can anyone else take your place in this world.
Posted with permission:
Developing Healthy Self-Esteem
By Rodney J. Buchanan
Jeremiah 1:4-1:10
In the Scripture reading today, we hear the Lord saying to Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” It seems that when most people think of God coming to them and saying something, they think of him saying something about what is wrong with them. They often associate the voice of God with a guilty conscience. But, more often, the voice of God comes to announce our extraordinary worth to God and his plan to use us. This personal worth is inseparably tied to the fact that we were made by God. And our worth to God started before we were born. We have worth because we were born in the mind of God before we even entered our mother’s womb. We were valuable to God before the world began — because already we had begun in his mind and imagination. We are the product of his creativity and love. That is something that can never change or ever be taken away from us — indeed, it is the only thing we cannot lose.
What concerns me about the way we talk of self-esteem today is that it seems to be tied to our abilities. We tell children: “You can be whatever you choose to be!” Of course, this is not true. If I spent 12 hours a day practicing the piano I could never play like Joanna or Linda. I could never play the guitar like Jeremy. I will never be able to paint like Rissie Strayer. I will never be able to comprehend mathematical science like John Noonan. I will never be able to run like David Overholt — regardless of how many hours I would train. There are many things I cannot do, and the things I can do are often not as good as other people can do them. That reality dawns on children sooner than later, and so the questions is: Then what? The truth is, you can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be. That is where your identity and self-esteem must be grounded or it will eventually fall apart.
The American culture places extreme value on outer appearance. We value youth, beauty, athletic ability, intelligence, education, wealth and fame. But what happens when you have it all and lose it. What happens when Superman becomes a wheelchair man? What happens when a supermodel gains some super weight or gets super old? What happens when a super intelligent person has a stroke? What happens when a superstar ends up in jail or addicted to drugs? What happens when you have a super career and lose it? What then? Where do you get your feelings of esteem and personal worth, when everything on which you have based your value has vanished?
In this passage from Jeremiah, the first thing I see is: An accurate view of yourself comes from an understanding of God’s view of who you are. When God told Jeremiah that he valued him and had plans to use his life, Jeremiah protested that he was only a child and could not possibly be of value to God. But the Lord said, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you” (Jeremiah 1:6-7). God had plans for Jeremiah that Jeremiah could not understand. Jeremiah saw himself as having no value, but God saw him as having great value. His value was not how he saw himself, or even how others saw him. His value was in how God saw him. You may not seem like much in your own estimation, but it is who you are in God’s eyes that matters. The kind of self-esteem that says, “I’m worth something because I am doing well and others look up to me” is a black hole from which many people never escape. If your feelings of self-worth are based on how you see yourself, or how others see you, then you are hooked to the wrong star. You will spend your life climbing the ladder of success only to find it was leaning against the wrong building.
If you take a tour through the Developmental Center (for the developmentally disabled and mentally retarded) here in town you will see many individuals who cannot get out of bed by themselves, let alone go to school or play sports. Many of them have never been able to contribute anything to society and never will — they are totally dependent on society to take care of them. Many cannot speak. They are not physically attractive. They will never have a relationship except with their caretakers. They will never earn an income. They cannot control their bodily functions. Of what value are they? According to the Scripture they are of inestimable worth to God. They are as much a part of his creation as a the doctors, nurses and aides who take care of them. Their worth to society is the very fact that they dependent on society. They are God’s gift to us. God is teaching us the value of taking care of people who can never return the favor in any way. And yet, those who work with them can tell you that they receive a great deal from these people. God is showing us the value of human life when life is all these individuals have. God has said, “For every living soul belongs to me” (Ezekiel 18:4).
The Bible says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Your life has value because you were created in the image of God, regardless of what you are able, or unable, to do. Your life finds meaning only in a relationship with the God in whose image you were created. He has a purpose and plan for your life that is different from every other person who was ever created. He says, “I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11). You are so important to him that, as Jesus said, “the very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Luke 12:7).
The second thing I see in this passage from Jeremiah is: An accurate view of yourself comes from knowing the truth about who you are. The truth was that Jeremiah was only a child in his experience and understanding. According to the world’s standards he had nothing to offer. If it had not been for God putting his words in Jeremiah’s mouth, he would have had nothing to say. But because God had created him, as he has all of us, for a special purpose, God did not want him to disparage himself. He said to Jeremiah, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’”
There is good news and bad news here. The bad news is: We are nothing without God. But the good news is: With God we are something special. There is eternal significance to our lives. In the beginning, the Bible says, “God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being” (Genesis 2:7). Good news and bad news. We were made from dirt, but God breathed his life into us. We understand that Jesus said, “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). But we also understand that Paul was correct when he said, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). The truth is that without God we are nothing, but with him we are everything. If we remain in him our lives will produce much fruit. We understand the truth that we are sinners, for the Bible says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). But we also understand that we, “are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:24). The apostle Paul catalogues a long list of sins prevalent in the world, and then says, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11). We are, at the same time, sinners and those who are loved and valued by God. The Bible says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Peter tells God’s truth about us when he writes, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). The truth about us is this: “Now if we are children, then we are heirs — heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:17). We were made for the glory of God, and that is where our self-esteem should come.
The third thing I see in this passage from Jeremiah is: An accurate view of yourself comes from a humble view of who you are. Throughout his life, Jeremiah maintained a sense of humility. He did not see God’s calling on his life as something about which he could feel superior. Even Jesus did not exalt himself. The Bible says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant. . .” (Philippians 2:5-7). Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Self esteem comes from humility, not pride, for God has said, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word” (Isaiah 66:2). We are actually seeking God’s esteem, not self-esteem.
The way some talk about self-esteem, it almost sounds like it is good to feel proud and superior to others. What happens when you have great self-esteem and your evaluation of yourself is inaccurate? There are those who see themselves as very attractive physically, but are not. There are those who think of themselves as very intelligent, but who destroy their lives with their foolishness. What happens when you have very good feelings about yourself, but you are a very bad person. We seem to have a steady dose of politicians who have this particular problem. Their over-rated self-worth is a delusion. The Bible says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).And again, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).
How much better to say with Paul, “But by the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Corinthians 15:10). The Bible says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). The point is that the focus is off of yourself. Inferiority is just another form of pride. It is feeling bad that you are not as good or better than others. Pride is a matter of being self-focused. A person who feels constantly inferior is merely someone who is focused upon themselves. As we grow in God, we turn the focus away from ourselves and we focus upon God. We focus on the gifts of others and we rejoice with them for what God has given them. There will always be someone who can do what we do better than we can do it, but we continue to do what God has called us to do. If God has given you something you can do, do it with all your might. The Bible says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23-24). Don’t worry about what you can’t do, concentrate on what you can do. Don’t worry about whether it is as good as someone else can do it, do the best you can do. What if only very best tennis player would enter the contest. What if no one else would come to Wimbledon because they knew they were not the top seed? What if only the best preachers preached? This pulpit would be empty here today. What if only the best singer sang? What if only the wealthiest person gave? What if only the best teacher taught?
We are to be full of confidence, because God has made us and has called us to serve him. There is no one else like you in the world — God has seen to that. No one else has your particular personality and gifts. You look the way you do, because that is the way he wanted you to look. You have exactly the amount of potential intelligence and ability as he planned for you to have. There will always be someone with more than you have, but there will never be anyone exactly like you. You are his gift to the world, exactly as you are. You can throw down his gifts to you, or you can pick up those abilities and develop them to the full. You can try to live in your own strength, or you can lean upon his strength for the full development of what he has given you.
What I am trying to say is this: One day your looks will change. Your abilities will diminish. You will not be able to think or remember as you once did. You may lose friends or even lose your spouse. What then? On what will you base your self-esteem? If your self-esteem is based on your looks, intelligence, education, youth, or abilities then your self-esteem will be shattered. The only thing that will last — the only thing that no one can take from you — is your relationship with God and your value to him. All your feelings about yourself, others, and life must come from him or you will live in disillusionment and despair. This relationship will guide you in your youth and sustain you later in life as well. It will provide you with the meaning and fulfillment that only God can give.
The story is told of an American tourist in Paris who picked up an amber necklace in a trinket shop. When he arrived at New York and went through customs he was shocked at the high duty he had to pay. When he came home, he had the necklace appraised, and the jeweler told him he would give $25,000 for the necklace. He was stunned and suspected that there was a reason for the offer. He took the necklace to an expert who appraised it at an astronomical amount. When he asked the appraiser what made the necklace so valuable, he told him to look into the magnifying glass and see for himself. When he placed his eye next to the glass, he saw an inscription which read: “From Napoleon Bonaparte to Josephine.” It was the name on the necklace that gave it extraordinary worth.
Inscribed on your life is the name of your Owner. He has made you with his own hands and written his name across your life. Your value is found in that inscription. You belong to him and he wants to use your life. He has made you and your are his. You are unique. You are special because you are special to him. No one else can take your place in his heart. And neither can anyone else take your place in this world.
Posted with permission:
Developing Healthy Self-Esteem
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