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Post by ruthanne on Dec 13, 2016 19:39:58 GMT -5
Hi Cindy,Lulu,and Anna.Hi Lorrie, ,Margie,Kelley, Kel and anyone I have missed, Merry Christmas! I heard them say on the radio,that there is less than 2 wks til Christmas. What??? I can't believe this month has slipped by so quick. Cindy,I am sorry you and Bruce have the cold now.I had one, got over it, and Karen gave it back.I love sharing,lolol.On normal people like me the average cold lasts from 7 to 10 days, but I don't know how long it will last with you and Bruce ,with the R.A. I pray you get over it soon and drink lots of fluids as you know that makes the mucus easier to break up and get out of you. You got snow. How awesome.Deloris says they are saying we will be up to 65 Sat. and cold again on Sunday.Thurs. is pain pill day and I hope I can get some shopping done. Robin will be taking me,yay! I haven't seen her much since she started working and I haven't been calling on them for anything unless I have to and I haven't had to so that's great. Hi Marlene. You do a bible study with other people online? I guess If I do a study with somebody, besides Karen, It will be with Cindy as I won't feel dumb if I ask dumb questions. Besides she does so much work on them I should start soon , before she switches to another format that I can't do. It said on the news this morning that the high was going to be 29 Thursday in Paducah.They are to the east of me but along the same line. No stress. How are you Lorrie, and Kel and Kelley? Too busy to reply but try to take time out everyday to show somebody the love the Lord shows us. That is something I hear every day and I try to do that, though it's usually on the phone. Has everyone got their shopping done? I only go to Wally world so it's a one stop.Robin Has to work Thursday from one to two-thirty,so we kinda have a time limit Thurs..But I was thinking,since I am up so late every night I will probably go with Karen about 1 or 2 A.M. There will be nobody in the store at that time. I hope I don't have to eat my words,lol. I have 3 to 4 hundred dollars to spend but I am buying for nine people.It is going to be fun. I insist. I told Lisa on Monday like I said I would and she isn't bent about the pills. Which is good , cause it means Larry and Steven are wrong about me meaning nothing to her but a connection. However I do understand addiction and they will both have to ask. Won't do them any good. It is illegal so I know the Lord will help me stand firm as it is obedience to Him. And I already feel the burden lifting, just knowing my heart is set on obeying and He will do the tough part. Love all you guys and Merry Christmas to Bruce and Ron and Marlenes Ron.Talk to y'all later,Love Ruthanne P.S.,Cindy,I'm sorry,I meant neon colored pasteboard.No,poster paper.I hate when I can't find my words.Which way did they go,which way did they go?Bye now.
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Post by ruthanne on Dec 11, 2016 21:51:31 GMT -5
Howdy all.Lulu so glad you didn't lose your joy!Nothing like decorating a tree to bring up all the warm fuzzies of Christmas past.I bought a 15.00 fiber optic and the longer I look at it the more ragged it seems.I guess next year I will get a pre lit 3 ft tree and it will really look good.or,else....No I do love to watch the colors change and smoke my last cig at night with all the lights off and the TV(which I keep on sat.Christian music almost all the time)off and just contemplate how blessed I am to be surrounded by my son and his family.With a 2 yr old they are very busy and now Robin is back in home health care and getting more clients all the time and Steven still takes time to visit with me for about 30 minutes each morning before he goes to work.He wakes me early but I can go back to sleep anytime and have to see him at their convenience.Of course I could call them anytime and have them come get me to visit with them but I don't want to bother them when I might get there and just panic and have to go right back home.I know,I tried once and that is what happened.Remember,They have my car since Stevens tore up and they have to wait til tax returns to get him another truck and I get my car back.Right now it is definitely a man's work car!What a mess ,with tools and trash all over the back seat and all floor boards.Kids,gotta love them. Cindy,I loved the graphic of the 2 chairs with the saying about when Jesus comes back.Like you set a Christmas Spirit with it's decorations but managed to make sure all would know Jesus IS the reason for the season.I thought of making a neon glitter sign to post in my yard saying"Thank you for coming Jesus,we Love you ". Got the Idea from a family that always puts up a Happy Birthday Jesus banner over their front porch every year. I go to the pain clinic Thurs. and I may be able to get some shopping done.all of it hopefully.Also,since I lost Larry my pills run out early.Lisa and Steven.This month I may lose my niece cause I am not giving one pill away.It is illegal and I am tired of having to make mine stretch the last week of every month.I told Steven this morning and will tell Lisa tomorrow.She is gonna be MAD! Steven said ok.Love that kid.Oh can I get some suggestions on what to get for Larry's two sisters and his brother and wife?Tine had to be here til the end cause she is a nurse and was administering the meds.She went into "nurse mode"but it must have been hardest on her,having to judge when to give him more meds.and she is so busy I never got to thank her except at the funeral.I haven't heard from her since but I choose to believe with her husbands recent death and splitting her time between here and Kansas(her son) and Tennesee(her daughter) that she just doesn't have time and not to believe the devil when he says she will never speak to me again.And Deloris,his other sister.wasn't there at the end but was there most of the day.Her and Tine took the insurance and arranged the funeral cause they thought I couldn't.I most surely could have but they said no ,Stay with him,we will handle it.I don't know why they wouldn't let me go.Larry never saw me get the insur or his clothes to Deloris so he never knew they were even doing it.So,what do I get to show them how much I love and appreciate what they did for us?Any ideas would be much appreciated. On another note,my 92 yr old neighbor died 2 wks ago.I am grateful to the Lord cause He told me to visit with her and I had the courage to do so and she was so precious.I asked about her soul and she assured me she was ready,"so ready"in her words.I get that.She lost her hubby after 40 yrs of marriage and told me she was sorry she hadn't been over to say anything.I was careful to keep her up to dated on what was happening.She could barely walk.I told her I knew she had been praying and thanked her.She told me it would be hard but I would be just fine with Jesus.And she was right.Her pain is over.I am happy for her.And I had a rocky start with my other neighbor,her being in the midst of a breakdown and I did something wrong but I apologized and fixed what I could and asked her forgiveness and now we are very close.She has stopped cussing and the Lord is bringing her up out of the miry clay(her words)I told her to have faith,God let her get there for a reason and she is growing close to the Lord again as we spend so much time together.Jesus wants me to help her,I know this.And I am doing all I can.Her breakdown is over and she is starting her life over here in Cardwell.All her doper friends live 50 to 200 miles away.All she has is me right now and all I have to give her is Jesus,and that is more than enough.I feel the Holy Spirit in her,unlike the last neighbor who said she was a Christian but really was a deceiver.My neighbor is Karen,so if I talk about her y'all now know her name to pray for her and her son,who is in re-hab and reconnecting with Jesus there.She lost everything in her breakdown and she still keeps trying to give me things.I made her stop today when she brought me over another top.And I told her to quit calling me her angel!I can't go up on anyones pedestal.I am bad and only GRACE carries me through. I am sorry this post is all about my life right now but I only wrote this out to show how Jesus is already using me,even though I still can't go anywhere less I have to.It seems right now this housing project is to be my mission field.If I can witness here I can do it somewhere else.Where ever He leads me.He hasn't told me yet.I am still waiting patiently,though,as I know He will when He knows it is time.I pray I have the strength to step out in faith when He does. Well my dearly loved friends,I won't forget y'all in my prayers.I pray to the Lord now most every night and through out each day.He brings to mind what to pray and who and I obey.How weird to hear me say I am obeying the Lord after all the years of rebellion.Not always but way more than before.Love from your sister,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Dec 7, 2016 13:41:25 GMT -5
Hello everyone. Keyboard is acting up. It sounds like we are all having good days.It is cold here but I like it. The Glory of the Lord shines through no matter the weather.But snow is pretty and I did grow up in Milw. and sometimes miss it. Tomorrow it is supposed to get as cold as it was last Feb.Low 20's.I figured for a cold winter but it doesn't usually start this early this far south.I just got a letter from Daeoc about 220.00 against my gas bill for this winter and that is good cause natural gas is down.The Lord already has my winter warm and toasty.I pray you all get the same.Kel,Lorrie so nice to read from y'all.I was wondering what had happened to Kel and Viola! she posts. Hi Margie ,Kelley,Marlene and Cindy,Is that everyone?Margie will pray for your house to sell and will pray for Daniel today.Hi Lulu.I almost forgot you.Big hugs to everyone,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Dec 5, 2016 11:57:55 GMT -5
Good morning everyone.Lorrie,so glad to hear from you.I know you are so busy all the time and with the holidays,it must be kinda frantic.I am so sorry about your migraine.I pray it will go away cause you are probably covered up in things to do. Cindy,I don't know,but it sounds like you had a manageable pain day if you were able to shine your kitchen.I took off my support knee highs off for a couple days and my feet stay normal.So yesterday,I did my laundry,floors,bathroom kitchen and cooked supper for me and my neighbor and her son .It only took about 3 hours and that not even constant,and I had to have Karen come over and help me put on the socks.My feet were already 3 sizes bigger.But my house looks nice,oh yeah. Marlene,was that a neighbor you met?The horse sounded beautiful.Can you ride?Anyway I'm glad you met a new friend.For a minute I thought you were going to say you took the rabbit away from the dog so you could cook it.I guess cause it sounds like you live in the wild west,lol. World war three is going on at Steven's house.He says he is leaving . I hope not ,I know it is old slewfoot,but they are miserable.I am not going to let them ruin this Christmas.They have kids.And they need to think of them.We haven't even been shopping yet for presents.Unreal. All the blessings we have and they choose to dwell on the bad things.Jesus is way bigger than the bad things so,I am asking Him to lasso slewfoot and give them a break.Anyone wants to join me in that prayer is certainly so welcome. Hi Margie.I get a lot of your weather,and yesterday (or Sat.),I woke up and it was raining.Didn;t even know there was a chance.Hope you caught up on your sleep. Hi Kelley and Lulu.It's Dec. so did you get that girl and her children out yet.I remember you said you wanted them out this Nov..How is Matt,Nettie ,Mace and Ron and Jazzy?I can't believe I remembered their names as this morning I am having to search for my words.So if anyone reads this and I get some words wrong,I didn't mean it that way,lol. The Lord really is working on me.I sit and try to write out the pain I feel losing Larry but Jesus must not want me to.I guess He wants to be the one I turn to.He has separated me from all my friends,except here but if I try to post on my bad days,I can't find words.It's a God thing,I know.There are lots of God things happening in my life right now.Love you all,talk to everyone later,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 30, 2016 20:26:14 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I have to say that picture of Elijah and Gracie just made my day. I am smiling so big, they look so joyous. Thank you,Cindy.And Oh Jesus. I am so excited for you!!!I will be praying the Lord make clear what He wants you to do.I am behind you 100%. I could do the e-mails but that leaves out the forums or does it?I am still illiterate on the comp.I loved your first board and I can't find another one where everyone is so non-judgemental and accepting and truly loving.It has carried us this far.God is good and I am so excited for you. I am also praying what the Lord wants for the next chapter of my life and waiting . I do know He wants me in fellowship with a home church.He wants me to have real -life people close to me to help me grow and be accountable to others and serve Him in the real world.That is scary but I know He can do it. Anna,what kind of cheese do you buy from Ireland and why?Inquiring minds want to know. And you never did tell me if I can call you "Marlene"?Instead of Anna?Lol, That's what I meant.I don't mind Anna,tho. It sounds like everyone had such good holidays.I am so happy for everyone.Everyone be sure to post pictures of your Christmas trees when you get them. I have to ask for prayer for my kids.God is about to step in ,I pray.Robin called me and told me something.After Thanksgiving.She said she tried to tell Steven and the boys but they just looked at her like she was crazy.She was so hopeless,unable to help Steven through his dads death and she still can't but she got so down the Holy Spirit raised up an attitude of Gratitude.She was so full of joy she didn't know what to do or to talk to and she thought she was crazy cause she just knew everything was going to be alright and work out for the Glory of God.She didn't know the words but as we talked I figured out what was happening and was able to keep my mouth shut and told her to keep listening for the Lord was talking to her and He would make known to her what ever it was.I warned her the devil would try to steal her joy,wherein was her strength, but she was to remember what the Lord told her and to get in her Bible.Is that not wonderful?Then the next day,yesterday,was the drs. apt that wasn't.It's next month!Ugh!But I got to spend hours with Robin shopping laughing and talking.And we got to talk about the Lord a lot.She has been saying the last few days "Thank you ,Jesus" that's all she says.She thinks she has to be right to talk to Jesus.I got to explain positional righteousness. And she has seen God work in my life so many years and she knows I am a SINNER. Praise God,Jesus is the hope of their little family and everyone in the world.Please help me pray for them.Steven is a baby in the Lord.Robins dad was an evangelist for 8 yrs. I can be so down when I come here but if I come to chat first and read how others live and enjoy life and my blessings fly up in my face and I wind up not even going to the pain or trials forums.Love you all,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 26, 2016 19:12:44 GMT -5
Hi Anna. Isn't it funny how things turn around when we got older? Most kids want to stay up as late as they can and grown-ups(?)like to go to bed early.And when you are able to stay up you would LOVE to be able to sleep. I listen on head-phones to Bott Radio, which is all preaching as I love K-Love so much I can't sleep cause I love the songs. Oh boy, I hope that doesn't translate over to church when I get to go. That is embarrassing. I remember taking a whole blue Xanax before church one day cause the kids(1 and 3) were giving me fits before we got out the door. The nerve pill was MIL's idea. I hadn't started taking pills yet at 20 so I took it .I woke up after the service with Jason, my 3 yr. old telling me "Wake up mommy, it's time to go" I have no idea what went on in that service or who watched my kids, or if anyone tried to wake me up or if the kids were good. Not one person EVER said anything to me about it and I sure didn't ask. We had been going about 6 months. Every service. So I guess you could say once Jesus baby sat for me.And of course I never took any more pills before church, or before bed for that matter. I go to sleep with preaching in my ears and wake up with it too. Sometimes the Lord will wake me wide awake if He wants me to hear what the preacher is saying.Boy,I pray I don't fall asleep at church again. Thank you Anna for talking to me.I always thought we would be good friends as you seem to have had adventures in your life. You might not think so but as much as you have moved around there must be many stories. May I call you Marlene? Can't you just wait til everyone gets back and tells us all the high lights of their holiday? You are blessed, not being afraid of bugs. You can actually go outside,lol.I love the fall and spring when I can open windows and windy days when things don't try to light on anyone. It took me years to realize dragonflies have some kind of radar and don't even run into people, let alone light on them.Well,I am feeling kinda low so I'm going to post in the trials and pain forum.Hope you had a peaceful and uneventful day as did I.Unless you prefer exciting things to happen.Love Ruthanne Ps.So glad I can finally come back and talk to y'all.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 25, 2016 15:50:18 GMT -5
Hi Anna. I'm glad you were going slow and someone would probably honked at you and scared you off the road. I love being the passenger. I even find the empty ,barren flat fields pretty,they have so much potential. I woke up with Steven watching the Voice.He misses his DVR.He stayed a couple hours and went home to Levi and the other boys.Not sure how many,with all Robins family down. Sheba,my new cat,spilled a plate of crumbs from desserts(don't ask) so I had to sweep it up,so I thought(first mistake)why not sweep up the bathroom and litter while I had the stuff in my hand.I had also poured some water on dry stuff to mop up in the kitchen,wound up mopping both.Looks great.This A.M. my hand is swollen and oozing...not my best timing,lol. Well,opff to lie down,hope everyone has a great day,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 24, 2016 17:38:16 GMT -5
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 24, 2016 17:14:42 GMT -5
Hi again. I will reminisce the rest of this day with the Lord. I surely hope you will all find time in the next couple of days to tell me of your blessings. People may think this is a secular holiday but I count it as a special day to let the Lord show us His blessings in this wicked world. Like Fresh-Hope. I feel like I have been let back in and may get to come back and join you all more now. That was not to say I felt shut out by anyone here but the Lord has kept me out for some reason. Maybe to show me I should come to Him instead of others? Been through some battles of anger,loneliness,,all against Larry. God forgive me. Larry has been gone 3 months today but I haven't ever been alone. Oh yeah, Sheila, my friend and sister in the Lord was unable to handle the pain she thought I was feeling and dropped me like a hot potato. Hurt some, but I think God did that for her. She isn't equipped to deal with this. And my neighbor, who I messed up with so bad, the Lord straightened that out but let me know I am to help her in any way I can but I can't fellowship with her, though she is a prodigal too. I am obeying. I pray you are all full of wonderful food, love and mercy and forgiveness, on this wonderful day. Truly can't wait to hear from everyone. I am like starving for fellowship, can you tell? Anna I am sorry you don't get a tree but God put beauty everywhere for us to look at and I know you know that for I've read your posts and you always point out little blessings the Lord shows you in nature, What an amazing God and how amazing He wants us! We are adopted and wanted, for no reason, only love. I'm outta here Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 24, 2016 16:13:21 GMT -5
Happy Thanksgiving day everyone!I kinda think a lot of days are Thanksgiving,if we would look for the blessings. Anna,Ron is your family,(as well as us)and your dinner is mouth watering.I made 2 ,count them,boxes of dressing,which I put onions,celery and sage in and cook chicken in ch. broth..Last night,Well,afternoon.They are gone now.I ate 3/4 of them myself.Steven and Robin got some last night and this am but I pigged out on the rest.Now Steven says they will be over in a bit with dinner and I am stuffed like a bird,lol.Robins grandma lost her husband 2 or 3 years ago.They were all ,like "Steven ,don't let your mom stay home by herself.Bring her.Talk her into it.".Steven ,I talked him into going,cause someday they will be his only earthly family.My in-laws love us but they have always put Steven down for his alcoholism and he is like his dad.He will never forget how they talked about hima nd treated him when he was mistreating us.We are his parents and you guys were there for me through most of it so you know.AnywayCasting thoughts.One of the blessings I count today is Steven raising up and calling me blessed..NEVER thought that would happen.Robin loves me like a mom.My grandkids love me to death(except Tyler and he is 14,need I say more?)He is Steven in puberty,lolol. I actually spent a lot of time with Steven in puberty as he was always grounded.God kept me consistant in punishment and Steven stayed consistant in trouble.So when he was grounded so was I.LOl.Fond memories. Steven:"I can't wait til I'm 18 and can get out of here". Me:"Me either". If I had to go somewhere when he was grounded,he had to come too.My friends were christians as was my music and we talked a lot about how good God was and listened to gospel.He could have just been good and got out of it but not Steven.Jason just watched other people do bad things and seldom got grounded.Jason was grounded 3 times.Once for a power struggle with me over 7th grade,which he refused to apply himself.He failed that year and was grounded the whole school year.I found a relief for him by letting him stay with his grandma a few week-ends,knowing she would let him have a bit of freedom but keeping me consistant,kind of.once for sneaking out with Steven after we were asleep.2 weeks.And once at 17 for back-talking me.He always had to have the last word.Not that time.Every word got him another week,lol.He stopped at 3 weeks,lol.The dat they got un-grounded for sneaking out at night,Steven snuck out again!Jason woke me up and told.He came sauntering in at 12:40 am and I broke a switch on his legs.He never flinched and was grounded a month for that one.Tyler came home about 5 A.M. one morning.Got all electronics taken for 2 weeks.Ah Steven you pay for your raising. I bet this is all so boring for you guys but it is me giving thanks to the Father.I thought I was a terrible mother but the Lord is showing me I was ok.My niece Lisa is a prodigal who hides behind an in your face façade.But her heart is tender and she will help anyone,anytime.She grew up with Larry's sister Glenda,a wonderful Christian,whose house was filled with love and laughter.And forgiveness.She has adopted me as a surragette mother and I feel honored.I now have 2 daughters and I didn't have to raise them. My kids are here so I will finish later.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 24, 2016 15:15:11 GMT -5
Hi.I don't know you but I know our Father.I don't know your needs but Jesus does.I can tell you He knows where you are and has been waiting for you to reach out.Don't know what He will do,but I trust Him,don't you? Our Heavenly Father,who has lavished all this undeserved grace on us,that we can always cry out to You and You always care. I Praise you for this privilege. I pray that Gery and all other lost afraid children get the courage to call on you ,for you wait to show them a new thing.I pray you meet Gery's needs in just the most perfect way as you always do and give Gery peace to know that you always show up,in your way and your time and it is always the most perfect way.Thank you Father ,for the Grace to come to you ,which comes from that cross meant to kill,but brings such light and mercy for us.In the Holy Name of Jesus I pray,Amen and amen. I was sent here to fresh hope and this is the first thing in my e-mail.My name is Ruthanne .May your sorrows turn to joy on this Thanksgiving Dayas you ponder on your blessings.,provided by none other than Jesus Christ,our Savior,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Nov 24, 2016 0:53:28 GMT -5
Hello friends.As usual I don't function til people are going to bed. I loved reading the posts and Cindys post about the plans and preperations they are doing.I am remembering the same things.I wish More people(hint- hint) would post whats going on.I hope that didn't sound critical. It is making me smile.Robins dad and mom rented the community building here for their family and Robin stopped off here earlier to check on me,before going up there and starting the dinner for tomorrow.It is clean and has a big kitchen,so it should really be festive. I had made myself some chicken and dressing and was opening the cranberry sauce. Well as some of you know stabbing a hole in the bottom of the can lets it slide out.And I am sure I am not the only one who actually stabbed herself,right? And it didn't go all the way through,either. Oh speaking of festive,I put my new tree up the first week of this month :) .It's fiber optic and is decorated in silver.So beautiful. And not only do I always have the peace that certainly passes my knowledge,I also have moments of joy and a lot of gratitude.I have spent the day with Gibbs and Tony and ellie Biship and Abbey,of course.The devil almost got me today but the Lord told me to come see (talk) to y'all and my joy is back,thank you,Lord and all of you.Sometimes people need to hear they are making a difference. Anna,I kind of have to have the desire for meat.I think beans or peanut butter or even eggs have lots of protein. Kelley,I've been hearing about the rain out there and I wondered if it was getting to the southern part of the state and wondering which part you and Lulu live in.You talk about LA so maybe you be in the southern part?Lulu,I have no idea except shes been in the drought.Aha!My brain IS still working. way I was thinking drought or mudslides or earthquakes,what choices!I spent a couple of weeks in San Fransisco with my sister many moons ago and it was like normal winter.More rainy than cold.Then I spent a month in San Bernadino and they told me to bring summer clothes.It was COLD the minute the sun went down.I didn't bring a sweater or sweat shirt either.But it was absolutely beautiful in all its busyness.Quite a wonder for me,living in a town of 714 people,lolol. Anyway I pray you get slow rains and no mudslides.And I pray for help for the fires.Wow,I love where I live. Lorrie,I will ask the Lord to be with all of you and I pray Daniel feels better now. I pray for your mom and you and your sister and I pray you have peace and joy in these firsts coming up.I Praise God Larry is feeling pure happiness for the first time ever and it is everlasting. Hi Lulu.Sounds likeyou got some good times coming up for you for 4 whole days!Yay! And your tomorrow sounds like lots of fun.Can't wait to hear. I think this is a normal post so I'm posting it before I read it back through.So I don't chicken out. Love y'all,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Oct 27, 2016 16:43:23 GMT -5
hi family.Thank you for your prayers.Me ,Steven AND Robin are going to try to go to church Sunday.The Lord is telling me I need a church family now.He wants me to fellowship with other believers and to worship Him in a corporate setting.I can't imagine how I will get through it but I know with God all things are possible.
Cindy,I used to listen to focus when my kids were babies as hyper-activity was just becoming widely recognized.I would contact them about Jason and got a lot of helpful suggestions.But Now I try to go to bed after they are off the air.So I don't know what they are doing wrong cause I don't listen anymore.I hate it that your flare-up is so bad this time.I know you have to hide a lot of it so Bruce won't feel bad and I can only imagine how that would make it worse.I will pray for you and Bruce when ever the Lord brings y'all to my attention.And of course my regular prayer times. I am still not feeling any grief and that makes me wonder if I even have feelings.But Jesus is holding me up so my feet don't slip and protecting me from the devils taunts.I cast them(smile).See Cindy,I did listen to you.Feel better my friend.Also ,do you pay for this site? Love you all,Ruthanne. Ps,glad you are feeling better Marlene.And yes the Lord got me out of that mess with my neighbor and showed me I need to come to Him before I do anything as Larry isn't here to reign me in anymore. .Sorry I messed up this post but have to go back to bed so I hope you all can figure out the end of it,Love RuthanneCause I can now pay tithes and if I can't get to church,you guys are my church family.
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Post by ruthanne on Oct 26, 2016 19:45:57 GMT -5
Hello again.Thank you for your prayers. We need them. Cindy,did you mean for me to listen to those messages because you think I am defaming Robin?I admit I was angry she hasn't compassion enough for Stevens loss,But I didn't mean to defame her as a person.I do love them both and am Switzerland when I talk to either of them. Maybe I should have taken it to the Lord before I posted.I am sorry about that,yes.I was merely venting cause I can't tell either of them what the other says and I truly need prayer for wisdom to say healing words to both of them.I did suggest family counseling to both of them and Robin said Steven would never agree to go and Steven said "no way,I don't need counseling".What is with men(most)?I told him he needs someone with objectivity to help them see how they are talking to each other.Robin yells and Steven talks to her with silence.I know that sounds crazy,but he knows she just wants to comfort him and help him through this so he is shutting her out and to me THAT speaks volumes.And the boys hide in their rooms cause they hate it when she screams at Steven or them.She is so sweet and loving and kind at work,to me, and her clients.But we so appreciate what she does for us.At home she gets no recognition.I told her if she was waiting for them to praise her or validate her she has a way to go cAuse they don't do that til they grow up and have to do things for themselves.And I have felt just like her in that area but it only made me a sour mom.Now my son rises up and calls me Blessed.I would never have expected,especially after the puberty me and Steven went through. He hated me for about 6 yrs.But I never let him manipulate me(and boy did he try).He never saw me hurt or uncertain or crying.Not something I do in front of people unless the Holy Spirit brings me to tears.That is the kind of advice I give her.I really need wisdom . It is God's plan for them to be together(I hope)but if it is not I pray He settles it for them.I know I want them together.I can't stand the thought of Steven not having a life partner at the end of his life.Wah-wah-wah,I want to go home!!!But not til I know they are going to be alright.And anyway,I have to stay til Jesus comes or He calls me home as I made a VOW to the Father to never ,ever try to kill myself again.He gave me life and breath and He only knows my expiration date. There was a big melee at my apt about 3 wks ago and Christian was here and it tore his nerves up cause my neighbor was calling me bad names(which I deserved)But she forgave me and told me she doesn't hate me.It was the first thing I did without Larry here and I was in over my head.The lady was in withdrawel from her meds cause she had attempted suicide and took all her meds and then she was in withdrawels and lost her job and all these bad things happened to her and I made it worse.So anyway Christian went home and Robin was screaming in his face so he screamed back at her.Cause he hadn't done anything.She texted Steven at work and when he came home he went right to Christian and said he would treat his mom with respect while living in his house and Christian just lost it and started crying.Steven was instantly aware there was more to the story so he asked Christian to tell him what happened.When he found out he was like"I will never take her side until I hear both sides". That week-end Christian went to Mississippi with robins brother and they all go to church and Robin told me today that since he came back after 2 weeks he has been so nice and helpful around the house and treats her with much more respect.I told her the Lord had probably taught Christian what his part in the fight was about.And both her and Steven are "talking"about getting back to church. I pray for that.They know no other life but the bar scene and my life.They have seen how the Lord is shoring me up and not letting me worry. On a different note,Robin's dad has rented the community building for Thanksgiving and she wants me to come and not be alone that day.But I know only her immediate family.There will be so many strangers there.I want to go but don't know if I can.But how sweet is that for her to invite me? I really need feed-back on this post cause if I am doing anything to contribute to this I need to stop and if I can help,I need to know that.Have I given them bad advice?I so need wisdom as I don't even know who I am as a person without Larry by my side.I don't know what kind of person I really am.I only know I am a child of the King,so am still sheltered.But now all decisions are mine to make and I don't want to make any moves til I know what the will of the Lord is.Cindy ,you are wise having studied the Lord for so long.I promise not to be mad as I know you are about love and the Lords will and not out to hurt anyone.Also,Is reading the Bible on my computer the same as reading it on my table?Also I am ready to study the Bible with you if you will have me and no drama invited,lol.Just tell me what study and I will be there. Larry has been gone 2 months and my brain is still in a fog most of the time and am afraid to make any decisions.Robin is helping me with all the details of changing things to my name and getting forms filled out. I pray all this doesn't sound stupid(hate that word) or blown out of proportion.Sorry for the book.I thought I should get this all out so the devil can't twist it and make me feel worse than I already do.Please,if you have no words of wisdom,please pray the Lord gives me wisdom and strength.I love all of you so I don't feel I am unburdening myself to strangers but to family.I think of you all everyday and wish I could talk more(who would have EVER thought I would be asking for more words?"?Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Oct 25, 2016 7:13:13 GMT -5
Hello ladies and gents.The Lord woke me up very early and then I heard Steven coming in the door ,at 5:15!My mother bear came out this morning.Robin had taken Stevens' phone last night and when he got up at 3:00!,she had deleted his facebook and all his contacts.She said she didn't know how it happened but I wonder why it was his phone and not hers.His dad hasn't been gone 2 months and she thinks he should be over it.He is drinking a lot.And I told him to learn to be a statue and do not show her any reactions.I hate it that at 37 she has to be treated like a teen-ager and only get any feed back when she acts like an adult.I love her so much,but never having had an issue with jealousy I have no way to understand the effect it has on her but I can sure see the effect it has on her AND Steven.Before they split for 5 or 6 yrs.he cheated on her all the time but he has been over his womanizing for yrs.He goes to work and goes home.Straight home.He asks her when ,exactly ,does she think he is doing anything?But the jealousy has no reason.Focus on the Family is talking about anyone with a really bad marriage. I really need prayers for Steven and the boys. Robin isn't thinking about anyone else in the house and they are all suffering for her inferiority complex. Steven and the boys love her to death but she doesn't get praise or positive feedback enough to help her.I hear both sides but I can't advise either.Thank you for letting me vent.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Oct 15, 2016 12:03:25 GMT -5
Good morning everyone. My prayers will be with everyone of you today as well as Steven and his.Robin is working now and Steven has to babysit Levi.Oh joy, he says,lol. Robin is just glad he gets to see what her day is like EVERYDAY !She will not be so cranky since she will be away from him all day.She is so used to working she's been going bananas. Steven said she didn't need to work for the money but she sure needed time out as that will ease the pressure on all the guys there.She is so out-numbered but she holds her own.They are now my immediate family and my in-laws,extended family.Deloris calls me a few times a week,but can't come to visit til I get well. It's noon Sat.,Cindy how is Bruces' headache?Lorrie how did your ladies night go?You and Cindy,and Lulu, and Kel and Anna and Cheryl are all proverbs 31 ladies.Thats how I see you,anyway,tho,I bet none of you think you are.But you are(big smile).Love to all,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Oct 13, 2016 19:33:54 GMT -5
Hi everyone.I have had a cold,and I keep reminding myself they only last 7 to 10 days and I am treating the symptoms. Cindy I will keep you and Bruce in my prayers as I know when hubby is sick,wifey takes up the slack so they don't feel worse(the hubby).I pray the Lord keeps up your strength so you can continue to help Bruce.I pray the Lord helps his migraines and I am praying for Lorrie to not get a migraine through this weather. Larry's funeral is paid and I got the remainder of his life insurance.I wanted to buy some different furniture(not new) and the Lord put a woman in the apt. next to me and she sold me a full sized bed with memory foam for 100.00 and Steven got my queen size.I also bought a olive green sectional(I had to fight Steven and Christian over it.They said it would be too big for my apt.). It fits perfect and separate my kitchen and dining room from the living room.It's awesome with recliners on both ends and is suede. it was 325.00.I also bought a brand new set of pans and a coffee maker and microwave.And a set of glass bakeware.All that was 90.00.I bought her laptop for Christian for his Christmas present and a tablet for Tylers' birthday Nov. 5th.150.00 for the both of them. I went Monday with Steven to pick out Larry's headstone and it will be ready in 6 wks.We took a picture of Jason's and got the same design but Jason's says "Asleep in Jesus" and Larry's says Waiting for you. these are all things I had to get done,but it does nothing to ease the pain of him not being with me.At least I know he is not suffering any longer.And I have to say,he never complained about how hard it was on him.To protect me and Steven.Thank the Lord ,He was with Lar.That is the only way he could have suffered so much in silence.I miss him so much.I have only broken down once and I attribute that to being held up by Jesus.Now my life can be dedicated to Him alone.Not that I wasn't devoted before but Larry was here for me to take care of and show Jesus' love and mercy to.Love you all and am going to post this as I usually sit here speechless and today I actually had some things to share,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Oct 13, 2016 18:54:35 GMT -5
Hi Daniel.This is the 2nd article of yours I have read and also I have read a couple of Cindys' end times threads.I am becoming more interested in them cause I was set up a couple of years ago by a SIL.She had her daughter down for a visit and I lived next door.She called me over to "meet her daughter".Right.She introduced herself then started questioning me About Jesus.Her mom,(my SIL) just stood in her kitchen and watched.I was not expecting it and was woefully unprepared to defend my Jesus.What I realized at that time that so much of what I know about Jesus is taken by faith in Gods' Word. So I answered her questions as best I could.One thing she said to me was she applauded Jesus for His unshakeable faith but it was not real.As there was no God.And while He believed what He taught didn't make it fact.I told her the resurrection was the proof He was God and unable to be held by the bonds of death.She said there was no real proof of the resurrection except the delusional stories of His followers.His body was stolen and hidden.So the first time I was called on to explain my faith(my SIL had watched me for around 5 yrs.and didn't believe Jesus death was enough to save me )I failed miserably.Keep in mind I have a panic disorder and I felt attacked and that made it harder for me to think.I prayed and asked Jesus to speak through me and when the inquisition was over,I prayed the Lord would use it to bring her to faith.It was all I knew to do.Another thing she said was that she believed Jesus believed what He taught and was willing to die for His faith but He was misguided as there is no such thing as a "resurrection".I guess I wrote all that cause I thought maybe you can tell me how to be prepared in case there is a need to defend my Jesus again.I read my Word and I have God -given faith but that wasn't enough that day when the attack was so well planned out.Thank you for reading this and I pray I can learn from you and Cindy what I should do in such a situation,Love YSIC,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 19, 2016 22:49:15 GMT -5
Hi Again.I forgot to tell you of a conversation me and Larry had before he died.He had gotten a bit better with adequate pain meds and Boosts plus and they were free from Hospice!Cause I was worried how to get him the ensures.His sister called and got him into hospice.She's a R.N. . Anyway he was having a good day and we were talking.I told him I never wanted him to stress about anything he needed help with as that's why we were together.Our love.But men do hate to ask :-X .He said he knew that.I told him neither of us had ever gone thru this and we were going to have to work together to make it the best we could and Jesus would do the rest.After that we noticed we were actually waiting to think before we spoke.So you see,Jesus started preparing me for months.But when it came time for him to go home I go into shut-down mode.God would not be smiling now.But nothing lasts long.Notpain,anger ,sadness.Jesus is with me,thats all I know and if I learn anything and He wants me to share I will.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 19, 2016 22:30:40 GMT -5
Hi again. Anna,thank you ,and everyone here,from the bottom of my heart. Jesus is always with me and I listen to K-love or Bott Radio.All good preachers.I'm listening to I can Only Imagine.I believe I will be one of the ladies who wash His feet with my tears.I am in my Word and talking to the Lord about things.I isolated today,it was such a bad pain day.But I wasn't ever alone. Me and Larry had talked before he died.I had even become an obedient wife. For Jesus.And he got nicer when he realized what was happening :-[ . I trust the Lord so much I almost want Him to let me grieve. But then I realize I am telling Him His job again .So I wait.Right now I am over the denial and am feeling anger and lashing out.Not a lot,Maybe once.Anyway anger is an emotion and the Lord is teaching me self-control.Another fruit of the Spirit to fight the enemies. I can tell,alot stronger that we are living in 2 worlds.The physical and the Spiritual.And I am learning my real enemies and am learning more truth from the Lord as He is now my only focus. I pray He can find a way to use me and other times I pray for a heart attack. Jesus is carrying me and I know I won't do anything without Him.Cause I can sometimes barely think.But He is loving me .Cindy put some comforting bible quotes on one of my threads.I re-read them and I was so so comforted.I felt He was holding me.Thank you Cindy.Well you guys can see why I'm not posting much but it will get better and I am reading,bye,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 19, 2016 14:49:37 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Hi everyone.Cindy,I don't know how I put it there so I sure can't remove it.Wish I could,sorry. Yes Levi is the only thing that can make me smile and even laugh.But I had to leave the party as I had a panic attack at my sons' house!!!The party didn't even start for like 4 more hours,lol. I am hiding out in my apt. today.I don't want to talk to anyone and it appears my grief is coming out in physical pain,my pills don't work .Love y'all but back to bed for me,talk to you later.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 17, 2016 9:04:08 GMT -5
[b][/[/font][/font]b] Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Good morning my friends.Sorry about the spelling on my posts.I get so many typos I just say forget it as I get a red line even if I don't put 2 spaces between words.I will start checking. Anyway Good morning.Lulu Hope you are too busy having fun to post(hugs)Hi Cindy sounds like you have had a busy painful week.I'm sorry.Feel better.You will probably have grandkids this week-end too.Hope so I haven't heard about Gracie and I am straining my pea brain(Larrys' phrase,for himself not me,lol)for her brothers name and all I can come up with is Jeremiah ,but I know that is wrong.True ,I did just get up but that is no excuse.Put me out of my misery and tell me?I will remember after I don't need too. Oh my Lord,I am so irritated about it. Hi Seven.Hi Margie.Sorry bout your sewer.But still hope you have fun this week-end .Hi Lorrie.I haven't seen much of you but you were always so busy.Haven't heard about the boys in so long.I know you are also in deep grief and worry about your mom and sister too.so Hi and will be praying for you.Tomorrow is Levis' birthday and I will be over there and expect to have fun and peace from my new neighbor.It is also Deloris' birthday to be 63.I can't wait til tomorrow . I am going to get away from my neighbor.My last one was very evil.I mean she was demonic ,an angel of darkness pretending to be an angel of light but the Holy Spirit took care of me til I got Cindys' proverbial 2 by 4.He literally had to show me cause I don't judge.I guess I got a lesson on discernment.I failed miserably but Jesus took over and opened my eyes.So she finally moves and now I have a new neighbor.She is very outgoing and friendly and comical as she can't keep up with anything.Right now she is still looking for her phone.Lisa,my niece and surrogate daughter(Robin is my daughter from another mother,lol.)and she brought her daughter and boyfriend,Shawna and Blake.we had a nice visit. I am feeling things now ,a little. My neighbor is here now,using the phone,lol.So I will be back later,but sadly,not in chat.I have to go to trials as I have done some things.But the Lord may not want me to tell.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 16, 2016 8:34:45 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake Hello.I turned on the newss this morning and the first thing I heard was 3 murderd in 2 home invasions,The first was a robber breaking in and the householder shot ans killed him.The second was two men they believed shared the place and they were both dead.My,my,One of my worsrt fears is home invasion.Nothing good comes out of a stranger breaking in when thwy know you are home..No Good,so sad. Steven was invited to go to Fayetteville to sit on the 50 yard line and he is going with all the grown -up guys in Robins family.I hope he can get his mind off things So Robin is bringing my car for the week-end so I can go somewhere,No place to go unless I have to go to church,God is ordering me to get into a church family(in the flesh) for fellowship.I have all of you but He says to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together ,even more so as you see the day coming. Sheils called me Mon.or turs and told me crying how bad her cat had been beat uo and I told her to go to vet at least for anti-biotrich and stitches.She hasn't answered all week.I only call once a day since I don't want to put more on her than she can handle. . If I sound bitter,I am.I have had love for her for 30 yrs and the first time I need her she is not only not there but lying,and saying hurtful things and I have lost faith in her but I know Jesus hasn't so I must get this seed of bitterness out of me before it can take root.Please pray I can display the Love Jesus gives me.Her lessons are not my business,to his own Master a man stands or falls. Yay!Lulu!Jazzy week-end.Are those children still with you/I hope Jazzy doesn't pick up their habits,I am very stern with Levi and I talk in a normal voice and when I trll him no,he repeats "no"then does it anyway I give him one or 2 warnings then I spank his hand,I don't raise my voice and won't allow a fit.And being as he is always getting yelled at he just stops and listens to me and understands.Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 12, 2016 21:10:01 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. hello.Cindy,everyone in my extended family(Larrys)have been checking on me and I try to glorify God,but sometimes it FEELS like it is all about me and I feel guilty.But I haven't had any pain or grief yet,only I miss him,alot.And now,I don't have him to tell things to and will never have anyone else to do that with so it's me and Jesus,got a good thing going,me and Jesus have all worked out.Yes,I truly do,at times think in song verses(blush),but Jesus knows what I mean. Hi Anna,how strange about that girl. Any insight into that yet? Seven,I remember when I first read you online and you called your parents"parental units"I thought ,I like that girl,lol.How old are you.Are you a twenty or thirty something?Are you a teen-ager? Enquiring minds want to know. I want all of you to go back to when you met your loves and appreciate having them still,if you do.That will glorify God and bring back the excitement of falling in love.That can get pushed to the background pretty easily but is such a blessing.Wow,I just gave advice!!!Been awhile since I've done that,lol.Love y'all,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 12, 2016 20:40:28 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Hi again. The devil is trying to break thru my forcefield but has been unsuccessful. I have not cried one tear.Is that good or bad.I would never have thought I would be so joyful for Larry to go.The devil tried to make me feel guilty,saying I am glad he is gone and even has thrown at me that I feel like I have been let out of prison!That one came close.Jesus set me FREE 38 yrs ago,not when Larry went home.And now,I talk to Jesus more than ever and I also hear Him loud and clear once again.I think the fact that Larry is finally able to breathe ,without pain,has somehow drawn me closer to Jesus.The joy I feel is for Larry and the fact Jesus has proven faithful,as He always will and He has grown my faith so strong!It hasn't been a month but it is not the same as when I lost Jason 18 yrs ago.Nowhere near the pain of that.I think a lot of that grief was guilt.The Lord started telling me months ago it's not about me but Him and Larry.And I obeyed Him and didn't stress or fight with Larry so he could be as happy as possible within his pain and Larrys' love for me and mine for him gave us strength for the journey.Well ,the journey is over for Larry and now I am married to Jesus.How do I grieve ,with my eyes open to all the Lord is doing for me?Like giving me my FH family back?His Love is growing in me and I know worldly love is just the devils counterfeit as he tries to copy everything Jesus does.However,the devil can't love so he can't counterfeit it to a Christian ,only to the world and they know no better.But I am now an Ambassador so I will be telling people of the Kingdom I now live in. This is a testimony but it is also miraculous to me,so what better place to put this?I pray someone will find their way here should they need it and God will do that,I am sure.Love Y'all so much,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 12, 2016 20:13:30 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Hi Cindy,Barb,Seven and Leonard.Hi-hi. I also love the unpredictability of the weather.Altho,in the nations bread-basket we seldom get snow ,it is refreshing to me when we do. Cindy,I think I am going to go to budget billing for my gas and electric.I believe it will help,like it did you,cause in the summer my gas bill is only a bit above 20.00$ and in the winter my elec is very small bills.I will pray about it./And I can pay tithes now!So I know I will always have my bills paid. We can do more with 90% than with 100% of our money.Did I say "our" money.I meant God's,lol. Barb I have missed talking to you and Cindy and Leigh and Seven and Cheryl.I was so worried about how was Cheryl going to go on without ED and now I am living that reality :'(. Sorry,that is usually at the fore front of my brain so it seems to pervade every conversation. Not trying to,can't help it.Love y'all,Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 10, 2016 10:52:54 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Hi everyone.I have been coming here but when I sit to post,I can't think of anything good to write about.There are lots of everyday things happening ,like a 5 yr. old's birthday party at 11:30.But I have to remind myself constantly,it's not about me.Steven and Robin and the boys are whats important. Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 5, 2016 16:44:10 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Hi Mark,Lorrie ,Cindy,Margie and Seven.So nice to be back :)). Cindy,I am sorry to put you to so much trouble with all you have on your plate.I will try again right now and if it doesn't let me post,I don't want you to do anything til you have Bruce and Jenn taken care of and you have time with nothing else to do.I truly mean it.Please take me at my word and don't even worry,K? Aw Margie ,yours is the kind of life most people wish they could live.You are blessed.I am also blessed.Jesus loves me and will never leave,yea :D. Y'all remember when I used to say I couldn't pray all the time cause of my besetting sin.God doesn't hear the prayers of sinners.Well...about the last three mo.,when I would audio that the Holy Spirit would remind me,I am righteous.I am not a sinner,I am covered in the Righteousness of Jesus.I said that a lot!!!And the Spirit got me first to notice I was saying it and second,I did pray,all the time,just not on my knees,and third,Jesus' sacrifice is the only way to be "Righteous".So now I pray when people come to my mind and I talk to Jesus all the time now. When Larry was sick,the Lord kept reminding me,-It's not about you,it's about him and that is how I was able to make sure I never distressed him or fought with him ,even when he would snap at me,I'd just leave the room for a few and go back in and say,is it better yet,smiling.And he was always okay.Jesus blessed me and Larry for sure.Now the Lord is telling me,"It's not about you,it's about Me".We have to be about our Fathers Business,and spread the Gospel to all we see.Cause He is coming soon.Must be,this world is soooo bad. Ok,Talk to everyone later,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 3, 2016 21:33:40 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake. Hey,I wanted to post the book on trials but couldn't.So I came here to chat but all that mess came out and I wasn't going to post it ,but I took a chance of messing up cause I just had to tell someone who knew Jesus and all of y'all do so ,as usual,I threw out my whole soul.Sorry,but not,very confusing day.I will be back tomorrow,it will be better,for sure.Going to hide my brain in Cuckoo Canvas,listening to K-Love.Thinking of y'all,Love Ruthanne
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Post by ruthanne on Sept 3, 2016 21:24:42 GMT -5
Phil.1:29For to you it has been granted not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His Sake.
Hi Lulu.How is Robert?Is he married?My prayers will be sent for you,Love Ya,Ruthanne
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